# I maced a guy, and kinda missed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643 "2011-09-26T09:50:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/21 "2011-09-27T15:10:27Z")
Too bad you didn’t have a Taser, so the spark could set his maced-up shirt on fire like on that episode of CSI ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/22 "2011-09-27T15:26:04Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Are we talking about the chemical thingie or the actual medieval weapon? > [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > I don’t sign in to straightdope at work but I do read it there and all day long I’ve been singing “I maced a guy, but I missed hiiiiim!” Sung to I kissed a girl. Damn it!..Damn it! You guys beat me, both of those things went through my mind the second I saw this thread,…at least I would’ve put them both in one post :p. Also, I’m sure that hitting someone in the chest with a medieval mace would be extremely effective, though the face slightly more so, also would cause blinding pain like the pepper spray, but with an added blood factor and very high possibility of death :D. A word to the wise (what does that mean anyway, the wise should already know the word), not everyone goes down just cause you maced them. Special forces often mace each other to learn how to deal with the effects so if it happens in combat they won’t be stopped by this, I’d imagine hardcore gangsters would also realize the benefits of learning to tolerate it, especially if they get sprayed a few times and it’s starting to get on their nerves. Not everyone will simply run away, either, just a warning, you could amplify the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/23 "2011-09-27T15:44:48Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I got him in the chest, but missed his face. It stopped him and his 'banger buddy from beating another guy, but didn’t stop them from running out of the El car at the next stop and running away. The guy who got bloodied exited the train behind them, and apparently also took off. There was no one around when the police arrived. Wait, the guy getting beaten got off at the same stop as his attackers? That seems odd. Props to you for doing something and not just being another bystander. I would tend to urge caution when dealing with gangbangers though. Maybe I’m just a pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/24 "2011-09-27T16:07:01Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I got him in the chest, but missed his face. It stopped him and his 'banger buddy from beating another guy, but didn’t stop them from running out of the El car at the next stop and running away. The guy who got bloodied exited the train behind them, and apparently also took off. There was no one around when the police arrived. Chalk it up as a win. Mace fog is not as debilitating as a straight hit, but it’ll do until something better comes along. You broke up a fight - good on ya. Suggestion. Go buy another can. Take the one you just used out into the boonies and practice spraying it (with the wind, of course, not against it :D) and get used to how it feels. Practice giving the can at least one good, healthy shake before firing off a 1-2 second burst. Sometimes the contents “settle” and the shake will disperse them again. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/25 "2011-09-27T18:27:10Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > I don’t sign in to straightdope at work but I do read it there and all day long I’ve been singing “I maced a guy, but I missed hiiiiim!” Sung to I kissed a girl. The stalker version: “I missed a guy, but I maced hiiiim!” ---
**Author:** ![AndyLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AndyLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyLee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/26 "2011-09-27T18:53:41Z")
I have never liked mace much. I have some, actual mace not pepper spray and it seems to me, you have to have it out and ready and be close enough to get in a good shot. And if you’re that close, the guy you’re aiming at can take it off you. And if the guy attacking you is on drugs, he ain’t gonna care as he’ll be so whacked out anyway, all you’ll do is make him madder. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/27 "2011-09-27T21:12:51Z")
**AClockworkMelon** - Nope. Mace calls it a “stream” rather than a spray and I think that’s an apt description. It’s part of why I missed his face, it was narrower than I had expected. I think a little got on my hand as I put the canister away, though, because my left nostril started burning after I wiped it with my hand a while later. **Ugly Ripe Tomato** - I wish I could legally carry a taser or at least a stun gun. Chicago cripples its law-abiding citizens by making everything but a 2.5 inch knife and pepper spray illegal. Seriously, I cannot carry anything else for my protection (legally) than those two things. **Bosstrain, AndyLee** - I totally get the danger of the spray not working. I’m hedging my bets by using the gel formula, which adheres to its target and is sticky, so there’s a mechanical element to hitting the eyes with it, rather than just chemical. I have an unfortunate compulsion to “do something” in adverse situations, which I am well aware may get me in more trouble than I can handle one day. I hope not, but I’m aware. It’s a personality trait, and I haven’t been able to get it under wraps, going back to when I was held up as a clerk at age 17 and fought the guy - and sent him to prison for all of $220. **Wheelz** - there’s no telling what the hell gangbangers are thinking. The stop where they exited is a well-known trouble area. Most likely they all live right around there. **Clothahump** - That’s the plan! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/29 "2011-09-29T04:35:01Z")
Skip the namby-pampy pepper spray. Get yourself a can of [bear repellent](http://www.amazon.com/Guard-Alaska-Bear-Pepper-Spray/dp/B002NWY3LK). ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/30 "2011-09-29T05:00:57Z")
Believe me - I’ve considered it. It’s a bit big to lug around in my bag 24/7/365, though. A little update: I emailed the full account to a local blogger, and he published it. I linked it on EveryBlock and a local news reporter posted interest in the story. So I might be on the news in the next day or so, if her profile is real. At any rate, a few thousand people read the story locally, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/31 "2011-09-29T15:03:18Z")
Well, this deserves more than just a one liner. \*\*I Maced a Guy \*\* _(with love for those who stand up for strangers in need)_ This was never the way I planned, not my intention I got so brave, mace can in hand, lost my discretion It’s not what I’m used to, just wanna take him on Assault and battery caught my attention I maced a guy but I missed him, I got a little on him I maced a guy just to stop him, I wish the cops had caught him It felt so wrong, it felt so right, I’ll buy another can tonight I maced a guy and I liked it, I liked it No, I don’t even know your name, it doesn’t matter You’re just some asshole on the train, I hope you caught some splatter It’s not what good girls do, not how they should behave My mace was long unused, hard to aim it I maced a guy but I missed him, I got a little on him I maced a guy just to stop him, I wish the cops had caught him It felt so wrong, it felt so right, I’ll buy another can tonight I maced a guy and I liked it, I liked it Us girls we are so magical, soft skin, and dressed so tasteful But we’ll resist, if you attack, I hope you get a face full You ain’t no big deal, nor innocent I maced a guy but I missed him, I got a little on him I maced a guy just to stop him, I wish the cops had caught him It felt so wrong, it felt so right, I’ll buy another can tonight I maced a guy and I liked it, I liked it ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643/32 "2011-09-29T19:38:25Z")
::swoons:: That was beautiful, man. (I’ve also been contacted by a local print reporter now, too) The CBS reporter is real, she’s pitching the story at the afternoon meeting, so it may or may not fly, but the print story looks like it will run. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-maced-a-guy-and-kinda-missed/597643.md?page=1)