# I Made a Promise With No Intention of Keeping It **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894 "2008-10-28T03:29:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/21 "2008-10-28T16:42:08Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I’m not presuming to speak for **pbbth** , but many women are taught from a young age to always be polite, to not make a scene, to cave in to whatever. Be ladylike, be kind to strangers. If you tell a guy to leave you alone, and he starts asking why you’re being uptight or a bitch, he’s just talking to you, what’s the harm in talking, and you start doubting yourself. That’s straight out of _[The Gift of Fear](http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225211961&sr=8-1)_. In fact, the opening chapter recounts a horrifying story about a woman returning to her apartment after grocery shopping. A man approaches her on the stairs, strikes up a conversation, accuses her of being rude when she declines his help in carrying the groceries, and once he gets in to her apartment, repeatedly rapes her. Trust your instincts, and next time, don’t be afraid to tell the guy to bug off. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/22 "2008-10-28T16:45:09Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Who was it who said of propositioning everyone they met something like, “Sure, you get your face slapped a lot, but then, you get laid a lot, too?” Exactly. If there were no Monica Lewinskys, Chandra Levys, or Rielle Hunters, there would be no Bill Clintons, Gary Condits, or John Edwardses. The guy was a jackass, but the world allows jackasses to thrive. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/23 "2008-10-28T16:49:01Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > That’s straight out of _[The Gift of Fear](http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225211961&sr=8-1)_. In fact, the opening chapter recounts a horrifying story about a woman returning to her apartment after grocery shopping. A man approaches her on the stairs, strikes up a conversation, accuses her of being rude when she declines his help in carrying the groceries, and once he gets in to her apartment, repeatedly rapes her. > > Trust your instincts, and next time, don’t be afraid to tell the guy to bug off. Even without such an extreme moral-to-the-story, in general people shouldn’t feel like they do things they don’t want to just to please others, whatever their gender. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/24 "2008-10-28T17:06:31Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Can I ask a question? What’s so hard about saying, “I’m not interested, leave me alone” and walking away? Yes, just turn and walk away. If you want to be somewhat polite then you can say “I’m sorry I have to go. Have a nice day.” and then turn and walk. If this happens in your own neighborhood then consider that you might run into the guy again on the street, letting him rope you into a conversation means that he’ll remember you next time he sees you and may try to repeat the routine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for chatting with people around the neighborhood, but there are plenty of chatty types out there to make small talk with besides pushy men trying to get numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/25 "2008-10-28T17:07:20Z")
> [@Dottygumdrop](#): > > Except, erm, isn’t **pbbth** the lovely curvaceous lady with the big boobies??? 😃 Don’t know. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/26 "2008-10-28T17:18:49Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > Don’t know. Cite? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10165577&postcount=30](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10165577&postcount=30) ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/27 "2008-10-28T17:19:37Z")
I knew an ugly, dirty, weaselly little guy who did this CONSTANTLY, day in and day out - but only to the 9s and 10s he saw (he is probably a 3) - and by god every once in awhile it worked. The guy has banged more hot chicks than most trust fund frat boys. I’m probably getting this saying wrong but it’s something like, if you throw enough shit at the wall, some of it is going to stick. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/28 "2008-10-28T17:23:12Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Also, it sounds like he didn’t effectively make use of “negs” - teasing backhanded compliments designed to qualify you by creating seeds of doubt in your mind. How exactly does this work? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/29 "2008-10-28T17:27:21Z")
On the show King Of The Hill one of the characters, Boomhauer, is considered to be a suave lady’s man. Cool car, fit body, bikini drawers, all that. In season 6 it’s revealed that his method is the same as this guy **pbbth** ran in to - harass as many chicks as possible until he gets a phone number. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/30 "2008-10-28T17:29:36Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > How exactly does this work? Wiki sez: > [@](#): > > An example of a neg is to ask a woman, “Nice nails; are they real?” [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neg\_(seduction)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neg_(seduction)) ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/31 "2008-10-28T17:36:21Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10165577&postcount=30](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10165577&postcount=30) er, well, ok. She won’t be confused for a girl. And we need more smilies. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/32 "2008-10-28T19:23:06Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Trust your instincts, and next time, don’t be afraid to tell the guy to bug off. I definitely agree. It’s okay to hurt the feelings of pushy creeps. Where I come from (Detroit), a guy would be an idiot to not realize that women get jumpy when a random strange guy approaches them. I’d be tempted to mace the dude if he didn’t want to take “NO. LEAVE ME ALONE.” for an answer or tried following me as I was walking away. Maybe that makes me a nasty bitch, but I’d rather be a nasty bitch than get mugged or raped. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/33 "2008-10-28T20:50:54Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > You want to know why some guys are persistent like this? Because it works. He got you to take his number, didn’t he? I’m not usually one to do this, but… THIS. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/34 "2008-10-28T20:59:24Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > I definitely agree. It’s okay to hurt the feelings of pushy creeps. > > Where I come from (Detroit), a guy would be an idiot to not realize that women get jumpy when a random strange guy approaches them. I’d be tempted to mace the dude if he didn’t want to take “NO. LEAVE ME ALONE.” for an answer or tried following me as I was walking away. Maybe that makes me a nasty bitch, but I’d rather be a nasty bitch than get mugged or raped. Maybe we need a “The Game” esque pick up deflection books for women, as I also feel like I was socialized to not hurt people’s feelings. Every page can have the word “NO” in huge letters, with added profanity for spice. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/35 "2008-10-28T21:02:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Dottygumdrop** > > _Except, erm, isn’t **pbbth** the lovely curvaceous lady with the big boobies_??? Yep, that’s me! 😃 I took his number to avoid an altercation, basically. I was having my groceries delivered and I needed to get home and he insisted on walking along side of me on my way to my apartment so I just wanted him to go away so he didn’t end up following me home. I still feel bad that I said something I didn’t mean because I really don’t do that ever but it seemed like the safest option at the time. And honestly, if he didn’t take no for an answer the first two times why would he have taken it the third time? I was tempted to give him a call last night though. About 2 hours after I got home I came down with the stomach flu (courtesy of my boyfriend who had it on Saturday) and basically just slept on the bathroom floor. I half wanted to call him and see how long he would stay on the phone with me and if he would listen to me vomit every half hour just to get a date lol. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894/36 "2008-10-28T21:55:56Z")
I’d have been tempted to call, just to see if it was really a personal phone number, or something else. 3A.M. sounds about right. But I’d have found a phone that couldn’t be traced back to me, because I sure wouldn’t want him to be picking my phone number off of caller ID. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-a-promise-with-no-intention-of-keeping-it/469894.md?page=1)