# I made delicious meat crackers. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2018, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450 "2018-07-07T06:14:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/1 "2018-07-07T06:14:06Z")
Following my successful experiment with making salmon jerky, I’ve now developed a type of jerky which I’ve named “Meat Crackers.” Here’s how it was done: 1. I took one pound of lean ground bison. (Our friends have a bison ranch so we always have bison, it’s the staple red meat in this house.) 2. I chopped finely, and sauteed, a few strips of center cut bacon , until the fat and flavor was sweated out of them a bit. 3. Took half an acorn squash (from my garden), minced it finely and put it through a ricer until it was a smooth pulp. 4. Took a large sweet Hungarian pepper (also from my garden) and did the same. 5. Took a Yukon Gold potato (uncooked) and did the same. 6. Mixed the starch and vegetable mixture all together until smooth. 7. Drained some of the liquid from the above mixture. 8. Took half the liquid from a can of kidney beans (it acts as a binder) and added it to the above mixture. 9. Mixed it _all_ together with the bison, bacon, vegetable and starch mixture, bean liquid, and some barbecue sauce, ketchup, and smoked salt, and half a packet of jerky curing powder. 10. Formed it into strips and placed it on the racks in the dehydrator for about 5 hours at 135 degrees. Because I spent around 6 years doing product photography, I had no choice but to post [this image of the finished product.](https://s15.postimg.cc/e9bsg6cq1/lamoralmeatcrackers.jpg) The result turned out basically like “meat crackers,” and are a superlative snack. They were DAMN good (though my taste sensation is elevated by the fact that I hadn’t eaten any dinner previously, and had also blazed a spliff about a half hour before sampling the crackers.) Maybe cracker is actually the wrong word, because these things are _not_ brittle - though they are very crisp on the outside, the inside is sort of a starchy texture, a bit like a Slim Jim-type jerky stick. The flavor and texture of the squash, potato, and pepper melded _perfectly_ with the ground bison meat, into a very hearty snack with an intensely savory taste, enough meatiness from the bison and fat from the bacon to be an distinctively “meaty” treat, but with enough other additions that it’s not _just_ meat, as a traditional piece of jerky would be. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure your friends, family, guests, stooges, henchmen, or fellow cult members will basically go apeshit if you hand these things out at your next dinner, barbecue, roque game, darts tournament, mountaineering expedition, space shuttle flight, etc, so…you’re welcome, in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/2 "2018-07-07T06:28:29Z")
Hell. Now I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/3 "2018-07-07T12:23:22Z")
Sounds good. Definitely looks appetizing, especially with such a great photo - although I’d have cooked the potato first - not from any misplaced poison fears, but just because uncooked potato is close to nutritionally worthless. I might give this a try with venison or ostrich. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/4 "2018-07-07T14:30:20Z")
What form was the bison in at the start of the process? Ground (how fine), solid, sliced (which grain), powdered, what? And for those of us without easy access to bison, do you reckon beef or other meats would work as well? ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/5 "2018-07-07T15:44:32Z")
It was finely ground, though I suspect almost any form of meat would work well. Beef would have more fat in it. Venison or Ostrich might need extra fat added, since I take it they are very, very lean meats and you wouldn’t want it to get overly dry. The meat crackers sat overnight and they didn’t really get any drier than they were before, which was just dry enough without being crunchy or brittle. They still retained some good chewiness. The next thing I try will probably be whole strips of meat cut from a whole muscle cut and marinated for a long time before dehydration. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/6 "2018-07-07T18:21:09Z")
Damn, that looks good! ---
**Author:** ![SOJA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@SOJA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SOJA)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2018, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-made-delicious-meat-crackers/817450/7 "2018-07-07T18:24:02Z")
Looks good! Gourmet Slim Jim, even though a Slim Jim isn’t good, I’m sure that is! What kind of dehydrator do you use, OP? I bought an Excalibur six months ago on a whim after fretting about it for over a year and asking around. Best purchase I’ve made except for the hum of the machine. Try black beans next time. They have more of a meaty texture to them than kidney beans.