# I may actually go insane with anger **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848 "2012-08-18T03:04:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/381 "2012-08-21T20:10:23Z")
> [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > You still owe me an apology. Man up. I did nothing more than quote you sequentially to show that you are not behaving as you would like to think. I suggest you reread Post #356 if you are still confused about my complaint. > Own up. Or restore the needed context to demonstrate clearly to our community what a dishonest poster I am, twisting the context and all. > Ready. Set? GO! Are you hitting on me? ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/382 "2012-08-21T20:13:54Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Now you’re getting it, seriously. You acted like a jerk, so we’re calling you names that are directly related to how you acted. We’re not calling you names based on your race. By our actions, we’re showing you how you should act. Glad you’ve caught up! So your method for teaching others to _not_ call names is to call them names…yeah, that might work with little kids, but I’ve been called every name in the book, many times, so…yeah, it won’t work. What none of you seems to realize (or maybe you realize it, and it scares you) is that I truly have an open mind on the issue. There’s a time and a place for name-calling. I’m not saying I chose correctly, but all of you seem to think that there’s _never_ a time for the N-word, and that confuses me. Chris Rock can say it, but I can’t? What if I discover I’m 1/32 African? Can I say it then? For that matter, we’re ALL African, if you go back a couple thousand generations. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/383 "2012-08-21T20:34:23Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > So your method for teaching others to _not_ call names is to call them names Insert the word “racist” after the first “names” and “nonracist” after the second, and you’re close. > [@](#): > > What none of you seems to realize (or maybe you realize it, and it scares you) is that I truly have an open mind on the issue. There’s a time and a place for name-calling. I’m not saying I chose correctly, but all of you seem to think that there’s _never_ a time for the N-word, and that confuses me. > > Chris Rock can say it, but I can’t? What if I discover I’m 1/32 African? Can I say it then? For that matter, we’re ALL African, if you go back a couple thousand generations. Here’s a handy rule: if you’ve spent your life being called a particular epithet in a hateful fashion, if you’ve personally experienced it as a serious verbal attack on multiple occasions, then you’re in a position to appropriate the word and to make it your own. If you haven’t had that experience, then you’re not in a position to join the appropriation process. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/384 "2012-08-21T20:36:20Z")
So, challenged to demonstrate some integrity, your last resort is to pretend to be developmentally disabled? ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/385 "2012-08-21T20:36:58Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > So your method for teaching others to _not_ call names is to call them names…yeah, that might work with little kids, but I’ve been called every name in the book, many times, so…yeah, it won’t work. I’m sorry, but this is bullshit. It’s like the “Wahh, you called me a racist so it’s YOU that is really intolerant, you’re not tolerating me so therefore you’re hypocrites!” garbage. People here are calling you out on your actions and attitudes. You are relentlessly whining about it and how mean we are being. Might I suggest that if you are so sensitive about being criticized that A) an internet messageboard might not be the right place for you and B) that you might want to join the rest of the 21st century and understand that “negro” is not a particularly nice or sensitive word to call your neighbor? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/386 "2012-08-21T21:14:28Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > Chris Rock can say it, but I can’t? What if I discover I’m 1/32 African? Can I say it then? For that matter, we’re ALL African, if you go back a couple thousand generations. Has the N-word ever been used against you in a way that denigrates your humanity? Has it been used to prevent you from enjoying the full benefits of society? Has it been used against you in a way that makes you a second-class citizen? No, it hasn’t. Because even if you find out you’re 1/32 African, no one in your life has ever looked at you or your family or social group as African. So it doesn’t matter whether you might have some African genetic background, because being black in America is not a genetic issue anyway. Unless someone can look at you and classify you as “one of them” in their minds, you’ll never be one of them. And that’s why there is also no pejorative term for white people that is anything close to the N-word. Yes, there might be such a thing as anti-white racism or prejudice. But there is no white equivalent to the N-word and there never will be, because there is no word that can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society. It is simply not possible, because white people, as a group, are in charge. They can’t be kicked out of a club that is defined by their own identity. And that’s why there is no instance in which _you_, yes _you_ can use the N-word, especially in anger or rage, without being racist, but Chris Rock can. If there ever is a time that a white person can be robbed of his identity as a person, as a member of mainstream society, as an American. If there is ever a time that people don’t automatically think of white people or white culture when the word “American” is used, then things might be different. But only if we truly reach a color-blind condition would that be possible, and regardless of how many people pretend that we live in a color-blind society now, it’s still a fantasy. I was born in America. I have always been an American. But I have dark skin, and my parents are immigrants, and are of a minority religion, and we speak another language. No matter where I go in this country, any white person, alone or in a group, can rob me of my identity as an American in the eyes of everyone else around, in an instant, and leave me powerless, because no matter my legal and moral rights, everyone always considers “white” to be the basic assumption for “American.” [Arijit](http://storify.com/I_Am_Arijit/arijit-vs-delta) is an American. But he wore a T-shirt mocking terrorist paranoia and fellow passengers on Delta “reported” him. The TSA found no security threat and were going to let him board, but the pilot refused to let him board anyway. And when he protested, the TSA decided that they wanted to take him in for a private interrogated because he “seemed foreign.” In an instant, his American identity was taken away. That doesn’t happen to white people with European Christian backgrounds, but it can happen to the rest of us so fast it makes our heads spin. So don’t give us this bullshit about “Why can’t I say it if Chris Rock can say it?” Because _you’re not Chris Rock_ and you never will be. It doesn’t matter if you’re poor or uneducated or southern. You’re white, and in this society, that gives you a privilege that non-whites don’t have. It gives you a status, and a power, and the benefit of the doubt. As a white person, you can get me, an educated, middle-class professional with no criminal background, in hot water instantly, just because I’m not white, even if I were to have more money than you or other signs of status. You have power, and that’s what gives the word _ **nigger** _ power. When you use it, whenever you use it, in whatever context you use it, whether anyone can hear you or not, or if it’s just your wife that can hear you, you are exercising that power, and it’s a power rooted in racism and it’s a power that comes with _being white_. So, yeah, if you use the N-word and you’re white, you’re a racist. Period. And if you’re not white, maybe you are and maybe you aren’t. That’s the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![Turble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Turble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turble)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/387 "2012-08-21T21:16:27Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > … “negro” is not a particularly nice or sensitive word to call your neighbor … When and by whom was this decided? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/388 "2012-08-21T21:21:22Z")
> [@Turble](#): > > When and by whom was this decided? General consensus of everybody, Sept. 14, 1972. You can look it up. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/389 "2012-08-21T21:23:31Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > General consensus of everybody, Sept. 14, 1972. You can look it up. Dammit, you beat me to it. My records show August 11, 1969, though. Seriously, what kind of stupid question is that? If a group of people tell you it’s offensive to call them by a certain moniker, it’s offensive. It really is that simple. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/390 "2012-08-21T21:27:33Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > Chris Rock can say it, but I can’t? What if I discover I’m 1/32 African? Can I say it then? For that matter, we’re ALL African, if you go back a couple thousand generations. Oh, not this fucking shit AGAIN. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/391 "2012-08-21T21:32:26Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Has the N-word ever been used against you in a way that denigrates your humanity? Has it been used to prevent you from enjoying the full benefits of society? Has it been used against you in a way that makes you a second-class citizen? > > No, it hasn’t. Because even if you find out you’re 1/32 African, no one in your life has ever looked at you or your family or social group as African. So it doesn’t matter whether you might have some African genetic background, because being black in America is not a genetic issue anyway. Unless someone can look at you and classify you as “one of them” in their minds, you’ll never be one of them… > > But there is no white equivalent to the N-word and there never will be, because there is no word that can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society. > > It is simply not possible, because white people, as a group, are in charge. They can’t be kicked out of a club that is defined by their own… > You have power, and that’s what gives the word _ **nigger** _ power. When you use it, whenever you use it, in whatever context you use it, whether anyone can hear you or not, or if it’s just your wife that can hear you, you are exercising that power, and it’s a power rooted in racism and it’s a power that comes with _being white_. _golf clap_ ('cuz us tighty-whities love that golf…) ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/392 "2012-08-21T21:53:43Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Has the N-word ever been used against you in a way that denigrates your humanity? Has it been used to prevent you from enjoying the full benefits of society? Has it been used against you in a way that makes you a second-class citizen? > > No, it hasn’t. Because even if you find out you’re 1/32 African, no one in your life has ever looked at you or your family or social group as African. So it doesn’t matter whether you might have some African genetic background, because being black in America is not a genetic issue anyway. Unless someone can look at you and classify you as “one of them” in their minds, you’ll never be one of them… > > But there is no white equivalent to the N-word and there never will be, because there is no word that can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society. > > It is simply not possible, because white people, as a group, are in charge. They can’t be kicked out of a club that is defined by their own… > You have power, and that’s what gives the word nigger power. When you use it, whenever you use it, in whatever context you use it, whether anyone can hear you or not, or if it’s just your wife that can hear you, you are exercising that power, and it’s a power rooted in racism and it’s a power that comes with being white. _Joins the slowly crescendoing golf clap_ ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/393 "2012-08-21T22:06:20Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > What if I discover I’m 1/32 African? Can I say it then? For that matter, we’re ALL African, if you go back a couple thousand generations. You’ve had a good run, but you tipped your hand with this one. In your next incarnation, try to hold back a little more. I know, it takes discipline. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/394 "2012-08-21T22:18:52Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Has the N-word ever been used against you in a way that denigrates your humanity? Has it been used to prevent you from enjoying the full benefits of society? Has it been used against you in a way that makes you a second-class citizen? > > No, it hasn’t. Because even if you find out you’re 1/32 African, no one in your life has ever looked at you or your family or social group as African. So it doesn’t matter whether you might have some African genetic background, because being black in America is not a genetic issue anyway. Unless someone can look at you and classify you as “one of them” in their minds, you’ll never be one of them. > > And that’s why there is also no pejorative term for white people that is anything close to the N-word. Yes, there might be such a thing as anti-white racism or prejudice. > > But there is no white equivalent to the N-word and there never will be, because there is no word that can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society. > > It is simply not possible, because white people, as a group, are in charge. They can’t be kicked out of a club that is defined by their own identity. > > And that’s why there is no instance in which _you_, yes _you_ can use the N-word, especially in anger or rage, without being racist, but Chris Rock can. > > If there ever is a time that a white person can be robbed of his identity as a person, as a member of mainstream society, as an American. If there is ever a time that people don’t automatically think of white people or white culture when the word “American” is used, then things might be different. > > But only if we truly reach a color-blind condition would that be possible, and regardless of how many people pretend that we live in a color-blind society now, it’s still a fantasy. > > I was born in America. I have always been an American. But I have dark skin, and my parents are immigrants, and are of a minority religion, and we speak another language. > > No matter where I go in this country, any white person, alone or in a group, can rob me of my identity as an American in the eyes of everyone else around, in an instant, and leave me powerless, because no matter my legal and moral rights, everyone always considers “white” to be the basic assumption for “American.” > > [Arijit](http://storify.com/I_Am_Arijit/arijit-vs-delta) is an American. But he wore a T-shirt mocking terrorist paranoia and fellow passengers on Delta “reported” him. The TSA found no security threat and were going to let him board, but the pilot refused to let him board anyway. > > And when he protested, the TSA decided that they wanted to take him in for a private interrogated because he “seemed foreign.” In an instant, his American identity was taken away. > > That doesn’t happen to white people with European Christian backgrounds, but it can happen to the rest of us so fast it makes our heads spin. > > So don’t give us this bullshit about “Why can’t I say it if Chris Rock can say it?” Because _you’re not Chris Rock_ and you never will be. It doesn’t matter if you’re poor or uneducated or southern. > > You’re white, and in this society, that gives you a privilege that non-whites don’t have. It gives you a status, and a power, and the benefit of the doubt. As a white person, you can get me, an educated, middle-class professional with no criminal background, in hot water instantly, just because I’m not white, even if I were to have more money than you or other signs of status. > > You have power, and that’s what gives the word _ **nigger** _ power. When you use it, whenever you use it, in whatever context you use it, whether anyone can hear you or not, or if it’s just your wife that can hear you, you are exercising that power, and it’s a power rooted in racism and it’s a power that comes with _being white_. > > So, yeah, if you use the N-word and you’re white, you’re a racist. Period. And if you’re not white, maybe you are and maybe you aren’t. That’s the way it is. _Stands. Claps slowly._ ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/395 "2012-08-21T23:49:42Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > … Miss Manners once said that “PC” is actually a pejorative for “polite” created by rude bigots who want to create a new right to be rude in public, a right they never had before. Emmm, actually PC was created by progressives to laugh at themselves, and to keep themselves questioning their assumptions. We dropped that ball. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > On the bright side, you’re kind of making ducati look good by comparison. Only kind of, but that’s something. No. No, not really. At least Ai is still here. > [@Acsenray](#): > > “It seems to me first of all, from talking to doctors, if it’s a legitimate pile-on, the rural South has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Thank you. I appreciate it. > [@Acsenray](#): > > … there is also no pejorative term for white people that is anything close to the N-word. How about “cunt”? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/396 "2012-08-21T23:59:06Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Emmm, actually PC was created by progressives to laugh at themselves, and to keep themselves questioning their assumptions. We dropped that ball. Emmm, actually its modern use [was unironic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_correctness#Early_usages) in intention, but it’s primarily used nowadays as I described. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/397 "2012-08-22T00:33:07Z")
> [@j666](#): > > How about “cunt”? Nope, because that’s a pejorative about women, not about whites. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/398 "2012-08-22T01:16:55Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Nope, because that’s a pejorative about women, not about whites. Right. So, it only matters if the word “can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society.” Yeah, it’s been fun. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Emmm, actually its modern use [was unironic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_correctness#Early_usages) in intention, but it’s primarily used nowadays as I described. I loll corrected. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/399 "2012-08-22T01:24:59Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Right. > > So, it only matters if the word “can rob a white person of his dignity and social power and kick him out of the mainstream of society.” > > Yeah, it’s been fun. Do you seriously think “cunt” is some sort of analogous slur applied to white people? That just makes no sense, given that “cunt” refers to sex and not color. A black woman can be as much of a “cunt” as a white woman. What the argument are you trying to make here? But, seriously, there is no pejorative for whites analogous to “nigger” in US society. The social dynamic and history makes that impossible. ---
**Author:** ![emeraldia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@emeraldia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emeraldia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848/400 "2012-08-22T02:24:41Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Is it that outside your experience that somebody might not use words like “faggot” or “nigger” when they’re angry at someone who is a homosexual or black? I mean, “asshole,” “motherfucker,” or “jagoff,” sure. Why limit yourself? Why hold yourself back? You’re not communicating this to the actual person, you are just _venting_ about that person. If you are extremely frustrated/infuriated then it stands to reason that you’d express yourself in an extreme way. If you had an opportunity to use a slur or some highly offensive word- but decided not to- I would question your sincerity. In seriousness, if he had called the driver a f **king bi\*ch, would people have made a big deal out of him being a sexist? I doubt it. If he called her a c** t, then it would not be OK. The OP was obviously extremely upset and didn’t even use a full-blown slur. They even named a college fund after it. Should he have said it? No. Grand scheme of things? Not the end of the world. Terrorist threats vs. a word that is arbitrarily offensive. - Not sure why the focus is on the latter. I bet if he posts the video we may see why he was mad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-actually-go-insane-with-anger/631848.md?page=21)