# I may be part of some mysterious alien plot. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355 "2004-07-09T21:05:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/1 "2004-07-09T21:05:08Z")
Wednesday night when I went to bed, I didn’t have a shirt on, I’m sure of it. Thursday morning when I woke up, I had a shirt on. Weird, but nothing big. Today when I woke up… I had a bizarre yellow-green discoloration on my arm covered by a birthmark that I don’t think I had before. I can only conclude that I am part of some alien plot. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/2 "2004-07-09T21:11:59Z")
Remember, the shiny side must be on the outside - no matter what anybody tells you. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/3 "2004-07-09T21:15:46Z")
Nah, you’re just sleep-dressing and sleep-volleyball-playing and tattooing. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/4 "2004-07-09T21:22:37Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > … a birthmark that I don’t think I had before. Maybe you’re… **born again!** :eek: ;j :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/5 "2004-07-10T03:06:35Z")
See if the doctor tells you that you don’t need _another_ rectal exam because it looks like you just had one. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/6 "2004-07-10T03:40:04Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Wednesday night when I went to bed, I didn’t have a shirt on, I’m sure of it. Thursday morning when I woke up, I had a shirt on. Weird, but nothing big. > > Today when I woke up… I had a bizarre yellow-green discoloration on my arm covered by a birthmark that I don’t think I had before. > > I can only conclude that I am part of some alien plot. You, too? Huh. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/7 "2004-07-10T04:28:49Z")
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. We were just beta-testing some new features. On the bright side, you won’t have to worry about those pesky “cookies” when logging into the boards anymore–from any computer in the world! Cool, huh? (By the way, if you don’t stop picking at the sub-dermal implant, it’s never gonna heal.) * * * “In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.” – [Carl Sagan](http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/pale_blue_dot.html) The above message has been approved by the Secret Masters of the Illuminati. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/8 "2004-07-10T06:02:31Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > Remember, the shiny side must be on the outside - no matter what anybody tells you. I beg to differ, sir. Since it’s obvious that SenorBeef has already been abducted, it doesn’t matter which side the shiny side is on. In fact, I would suggest that the dull side be worn on the outside 'cause aliens think it’s real purty. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/9 "2004-07-10T06:30:28Z")
Well, the next time you think the aliens are going to abduct you, ]insert some unusual objects—[including, but not limited to, one or more gerbils](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html)—in the appropriate orifice. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s almost certain that you’ll _really_ screw up the Gray’s survey report. The might even loose their grant money because of it. ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/10 "2004-07-10T17:53:25Z")
They give you a shirt, they give you a nice (?) tatoo, you know, the aliens are your friends. Just do’t give in to an anal probe, no matter how many shirts, or tatoos they give you. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/11 "2004-07-10T18:45:52Z")
Maybe you had too much beer? Nice, cold, _Alien_ beer??? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-be-part-of-some-mysterious-alien-plot/254355/12 "2004-07-11T00:36:42Z")
I too live with this fear on a daily basis. There is no evidence to suppport it. I have never seen any aliens, and rectum shows no signs of tampering, yet the fear persists. I could be an unknowing pawn of alien forces. I cannot figure out a test to prove or disprove it. For now, I must watch myself carefully. 😛