# I may have Highly Desirable Sperm! **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 4, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365 "2001-05-04T16:42:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/1 "2001-05-04T16:42:34Z")
Reading through [abcnews.com](http://abcnews.com) last night, I came across an [article on the human sperm business](http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles.html). Seems there’s high demand for American sperm overseas. (“U.S.A.! U.S.A!”) But what piqued my curiosity was these tidbits: > [@](#): > > **Spermatozoa With a Pedigree** > > Now let’s define “high grade.” The means the sperm has been screened for disease, has a high level of motility (that is, they swim fast enough to reach their target), and comes with background information on the donor. > > This reporter was saddened to learn that despite being in excellent health and holding two master’s degrees from an Ivy League university, he is at least an inch and a half too short to donate highly desirable sperm. How humbling. > > Although I didn’t make the height requirement (you have to be at least 5-foot-8) it might have made a difference if I were a classically trained musician or a medical doctor. (Advanced degrees in journalism don’t count.) Xytex claims only about one in 10 men make the grade. > > \ > > However, if you want a donation from a blue-eyed, 6-foot, blond doctor who is Catholic and likes the outdoors, many sperm banks can deliver. And that’s one reason U.S. sperm banks have a competitive advantage. It was at this point that I realized I may have Highly Desirable Sperm. Six feet tall, blonde hair and blue-green eyes, excellent health, multiple advanced degrees. And shoot, if they want Catholic genes, I’ve got that in spades from Mom’s side of the family. What’s in it for me, you may ask? Simple: > [@](#): > > For American men who qualify, becoming a sperm donor can be somewhat lucrative. You earn about $50 for each vial you fill. Assuming those are, so to speak, single-serving vials, this could be a great way to pay off those student loans. And that’s in addition to all the Darwinian implications, since you virtually become a human version of the cuckoo bird. So here are my general questions about sperm donation. First off, just how high a level of motility do sperm have to have before you qualify? Aside from the disease screening, what other qualifications are there? Do they really pay $50 a pop? Can you just drop a sample off whenever you feel like it, or do they limit how many donations you can make? And on a lighter note, can a professional sperm donor deduct pornography as a business expense? The mind boggles. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/2 "2001-05-04T18:22:09Z")
I’m a bit curious about the Catholic sperm donor thing. \*Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm gets wasted, God gets quite irate. \* ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/3 "2001-05-04T18:44:20Z")
I’m pretty sure the Catholic church is indeed opposed to artificial methods of conception. Well, except for that one real famous instance from a couple millenia ago. Of course, what the Church says and what its members do are often two different things. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/4 "2001-05-05T22:51:17Z")
Here’s another way to have highly desirable sperm: [http://www.semenex.com](http://www.semenex.com) ---
**Author:** ![sleepyhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@sleepyhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepyhead)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/5 "2001-05-05T23:03:27Z")
Who are the buyers of American sperm? I too have been targeted for having desirable sperm. Recruiters actually come to campus and try to entice prospective donors here. The offer a good amount of money, I can’t remember but I think it was over $100/ per batch. It’s nice to know that people like your stuff, but I have some qualms about having little sleepyheads running around out there. ---
**Author:** ![Dagger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dagger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dagger)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/6 "2001-05-06T00:00:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > **And that’s in addition to all the Darwinian implications, since you virtually become a human version of the cuckoo bird.** I say go for it. Make yourself immortal through your genes. Bury the competition chromosome wise. Plus, it sounds like a fun dayjob. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-may-have-highly-desirable-sperm/64365/7 "2001-05-06T01:48:12Z")
yes, that would be THE perfect job, if you met the requirements, but think about this- if you had sex, you would be NOT GETTING that money. thus, if you happened to be so strapped for cash that you couldn’t buy food, well you then have a choice- “not get laid or starve to death?” truly chilling; which would you choose?