# I met the Lowest Common Denominator at Winn-Dixie! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338 "2003-01-13T18:29:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/21 "2003-01-13T23:29:00Z")
And so the Nine left Mordor… - Winn-Dixie…Deli! \* ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/22 "2003-01-14T01:34:53Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of “Turtle Tracks” ice cream. Let alone “_Mayfield_ Turtle Tracks” ice cream. Is this a Southern thing? Very funny OP, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/23 "2003-01-14T02:20:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > **I was standing at a urinal once in college when a professorial type sauntered in and announced to no one in particular (though I was the only one there), “I call this room the common denominator,” and took himself into the stall.** I hope you didn’t miss a beat in replying, “I call it the shitter”. Zip and exit stage right. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/24 "2003-01-14T05:29:24Z")
Wow, **Sauron**! First you meet the Emperor of the World, and then the Lowest Common Denominator! Maybe I too should forge rings of power, or move to Birmingham. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/25 "2003-01-14T05:34:17Z")
Yep, the surgeon general really should put a warning label on that Turtle Tracks ice cream, and the effects on the brain. Mmmmmmmm… Turtle Trackssssssssss… myyy preciousssss ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/26 "2003-01-14T07:21:50Z")
What are “turtle tracks”? ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/27 "2003-01-14T07:33:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Forget the elves. I’m in love with Sauron. \*\* Go for it, **Ranger**! I understand he and the wife are going through a rough patch. 😉 Another confused Northerner up here. We are much more moose-oriented with the cutesy names for confections up here, being as I said in the North. Although we do have plenty of turtles, who I believe are buried in mud right now, hibernatin’. Although if **Sauron** vouches for Turtle Tracks, it must be wicked good, perchance as good as his writing. And “Winn Dixie”–some sort of subliminal message? Cause y’all didn’t win…When I go South someday, I must go there. And to a Piggly Wiggly. Just to say I did. “Birmingham, Birmingham. Greatest city in Alabam’. You can travel cross this entire land There ain’t no place like Birmingham!” - Randy Newman, “Birmingham” ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/28 "2003-01-14T11:19:06Z")
The scheming bastards! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/29 "2003-01-14T14:18:11Z")
**paperbackwriter** : I guarantee you she would’ve received a mighty smiting, had I not been in a weakened state. **cuauhtemoc** : I’m fairly certain Mayfield is a Southern brand of ice cream. I can recall my aunt (who lives in Tennessee) having Mayfield ice cream and wondering where it came from; we just got it in Alabama about five years ago. I think it’s based in Tennessee. And Turtle Tracks ice cream is vanilla ice cream with chocolate-covered pecans and caramel-filled chocolate turtles, with a caramel swirl running through the whole thing. Mayfield has some interesting names for its products. In addition to the aforementioned “Moose Tracks,” they also have “Hog Heaven.” I may love me some ice cream, but I’m not buying ice cream with a cartoon of a grinning pig on the box. **Mehitabel** : I’ll probably get kicked out of the Great Southern League of Wrasslin’ Fans and Gerbil Stompers for saying this, but I must admit that despite being born and raised in Alabama, I have no idea where Winn-Dixie got their name. “I met a fan dancer Down in Southside, Birmingham She was covered in Turtle Tracks ice cream And some Spam …” Huey Lewis and the News, “Jacob’s Ladder” (sort of) ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/30 "2003-01-14T16:00:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\ ***cuauhtemoc** : I’m fairly certain Mayfield is a Southern brand of ice cream. I can recall my aunt (who lives in Tennessee) having Mayfield ice cream and wondering where it came from; we just got it in Alabama about five years ago. I think it’s based in Tennessee. \*\* It’s definitely Southern - I grew up with Mayfield milk and ice cream. The only southern state I lived in that I couldn’t get it in was Mississippi, but they could have it now. I know they have dairies in Athens, TN and Braselton, GA. I can drive half an hour down the road and tour the Mayfield dairy, if I chose to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/31 "2003-01-14T16:20:13Z")
Winn-Dixie is creeping ever Northwards… I saw one in Roxbury, MA not ten years ago. Scheming bastards. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/32 "2003-01-14T17:13:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manduck \* > I hope you didn’t miss a beat in replying, “I call it the shitter”. Zip and exit stage right. I did briefly consider flashing him my meat and saying, “Yeah, well I call _this_ the Intimidator.” ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/33 "2003-01-14T17:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > \*\*Winn-Dixie is creeping ever Northwards… I saw one in Roxbury, MA not ten years ago. Scheming bastards. \*\* And you thought the South lost the war. Mayfield’s ice cream, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Elvis worship and the World Wrestling Federation are just \* the tip of the iceberg, \* bub. Today Massachusetts, tomorrow the world. And then you will \* all \* be eating Mayfield Turtle Tracks as you watch Jerry Springer with a plastic pink flamingo in front of your double wide and a Confederate battle flag hung in your window. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/34 "2003-01-14T17:38:06Z")
Hah! I live in the south and I don’t like Krispy Kreme or Jerry Springer! So much for your theor… oh, wait a second, someone’s at the door. What? No! Stop!!! [sub]mmmmph mmmmph[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/35 "2003-01-14T18:04:26Z")
I’d send this to the Mayfield Ice Cream Co. just to entertain them. You’ll probably get TONS of coupons! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/36 "2003-01-14T20:40:51Z")
Send forth your Uruk-hai with some of those big grenade things from Saruman. ---
**Author:** ![jkirkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac8455/32.png) [@jkirkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkirkman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/37 "2003-01-14T21:19:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mehitabel \* > And “Winn Dixie”–some sort of subliminal message? Cause y’all didn’t win…When I go South someday, I must go there. And to a Piggly Wiggly. Just to say I did. > > - Randy Newman, “Birmingham” \*\* Winn & Lovett Grocery Company + Dixie Home Stores = Winn-Dixie. Oh, and once you have personally visited a Piggly Wiggly, you are allowed to call them “Hoggly Woggly”. Oink. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/38 "2003-01-14T21:29:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LonesomePolecat \* > **a Confederate battle flag hung in your window.** Only way I’ll have a Reb flag in my house is for kindling. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/39 "2003-01-14T21:41:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jkirkman \* > \*\*Oh, and once you have personally visited a Piggly Wiggly, you are allowed to call them “Hoggly Woggly”. > > Oink. \*\* Great googly moogly. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/40 "2003-01-14T21:58:38Z")
[hijack]**" I never trust the counter help; I’m always (however discretely) looking over them like a hawk.’** Ya know…I don’t trust those counter guys either…esp after I went to the local Albertson’s one day with CG and spotted a former co-worker from a previous retail place I had worked at behind the meat counter. He is (was???)a reckless teenage hoodlum who would spend entire shifts describing his love of combining golf and pot.His favorite tales always included getting extremely wasted and then going out to a country club and going boinkers with golf carts.I wouldn’t trust him with a Nerf gun much less a meat slicer.[/hijack] IDBB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338.md?page=3)