# I met the Lowest Common Denominator at Winn-Dixie!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [January 13, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338 "2003-01-13T18:29:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/61 "2003-05-18T23:27:08Z")

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Feh. Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food is the greatest Ice Cream EVER!

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**Author:** ![Azure\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@Azure\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azure_Eternity)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/62 "2003-05-18T23:31:25Z")

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Those who haven’t tried Turtle Tracks are missing out on something truly awe-inspiring. Mmmm. Chocolate covered caramel turtles…

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**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-lowest-common-denominator-at-winn-dixie/148338/63 "2003-05-19T13:43:45Z")

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**FriarTed** , yes, Mayfield did respond. Essentially, it was a “thank you for writing” type of response. No offers of free ice cream were forthcoming. The bastards.

[Quote]  
\*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \*  
Sauron, do you:[ul]  
[li]Occasionally eat Turtle Tracks after a disappointment, a quarrel, or when the boss is difficult?[/li][/quote]

Yes. Also when something good has happened, the wife and I haven’t argued for the past ten minutes, or when the boss has gone to sleep. Also on any day that ends in “y.”

[quote]  
[li]Are you able to handle more Moose Tracks than you did when you were first eating it?[/li][/quote]

Well, sure. Practice makes perfect. Sometimes I can balance nine cartons in one hand while piloting the grocery cart with the other.

[quote]  
[li]Have you ever woken up surrounded by empty Mayfield cartons and not known how many you had?[/li][/quote]

Mom? Is that you?

[quote]  
[li]Ever sleep with someone pig-ugly after eating ice cream?[/li][/quote]

Well, no. My wife would kill me. As strong as my love for Mayfield Turtle Tracks ice cream is, my fear of my wife is stronger.

[quote]  
[li]Are there certain occassion when you would feel uncomfortable if ice cream is not served?[/li][/quote]

Like when? A funeral? A bar mitzvah? Getting fired? My own decapitation? Hmmm … nope. These are all good reasons for eating ice cream.

[quote]  
[li]Have you ever made promises to cut down on your Turtle Tracks?[/li][/quote]

No, but I have promised not to dive headlong into a carton anymore. At least while my wife is around. Mostly.

[quote]  
[li]At parties, do you sneak a few extra cartons of Moose Track in your clothes?[/li][/quote]

Heh. “Yes, I _am_ happy to see you, but in fact this is a carton of Moose Tracks ice cream in my pants.”

[quote]  
[li]Have you ever been stopped for eating ice cream while driving?[/li][/quote]

Am I not supposed to do that? Great. Next you’ll tell me I shouldn’t eat ice cream in the shower, either.  
[/ul]

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