# I met the most pretentious man in New York today! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 10, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942 "2004-11-10T00:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/21 "2004-11-10T13:10:18Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > \*Oedipus Rex \* is a detective play already. There is disorder in Thebes which must be put right by solving a murder. The solution hinges on a case of mistaken identity, which is resolved by putting together clues from three witnesses. The detective, by the way, or at least the person who knows everything, is the most famous transsexual in classical literature. At various points in his (at the time of the play) life, he too had been blinded and exiled - the very punishments Oedipus later inflicts upon himself. This may explain why he involves himself in the case reluctantly and only under threat tells his client what he wants to know. > > If there is any form less well-calculated to deal with liberal angst, I can’t think of it. Think of what this play tells us: > > 1. Being smart only gets you in trouble (Oedipus becomes king of Thebes and weds Jocasta only because he solves the riddle of a (not _the_) Sphinx that had been menacing the Thebans; > > 2. Truth is always hidden, finding it is hard, and even then it doesn’t help any; > > 3. Justice is for suckers. It is because Oedipus rules evenhandedly and well that he must search out Laius’ killer and mete out the punishment he prescribes; > > 4. Mercy is for morons. A shepherd’s decision not to abandon an infant to die on a mountaintop created the whole mess; > > 5. Attempts to aid the disabled are foolish. Oedipus’ foot was deformed - if Greek roads had not been handicapped-accessible, he’d never have made it to Thebes in the first place (okay, that was a lame joke); > > 6. Government should never, ever, try to help the unfortunate. The search for the killer is only partly a quest for justice – mostly it’s an attempt to relieve a plague that is sickening Thebans; > > 7. No matter what you do it will turn out badly, or well, regardless of what you deserve. > > \*Oedipus Rex \* is not merely a detective play, it’s a detective play designed to induce liberal angst. That was simply wonderful, in the finest tradition of SDMB quasi-serious-quasi-tongue-in-cheek analysis! But I’d love to see what you’d do with _Lysistrata_. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/22 "2004-11-10T13:17:50Z")
In High School I wrote a parody of Oedipus Rex called Octopus Rex. “Help us, King Octopus! All-you-can-eat Shrimp is destroying our city!!” never mind… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/23 "2004-11-10T13:49:12Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > This would be an excellent time to mention in a loud boorish voice to your obviously embarrassed/bored table mates, " So, do you chose you wine by the price or pretentiousness of label?" \* Actually I prefer to choose my wine by either how easily I can open the screw off cap or whether or not the little tap on the box leaks in my refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/24 "2004-11-10T14:17:44Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > That was simply wonderful, in the finest tradition of SDMB quasi-serious-quasi-tongue-in-cheek analysis! But I’d love to see what you’d do with _Lysistrata_. Not a chance. My wife knows about a thing called _The Straight Dope_. And we’re not that old yet. And thanks for the kind words, which I don’t deserve. After all, the most pretentious empty-headed puppy in New York apparently knows as much as I do. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/25 "2004-11-10T14:25:51Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Actually I prefer to choose my wine by either how easily I can open the screw off cap or whether or not the little tap on the box leaks in my refrigerator. Still chancey. I prefer to rely on the advice of the sommelier at Wal-Mart. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/26 "2004-11-10T15:10:03Z")
Now I’m actually considering writing a liberal-angst detective play based on _Oedipus Rex_ and getting it staged, _just to piss this guy off_. I’m off to Lincoln Center now, wonder what I’ll hear in the elevator today? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/27 "2004-11-10T15:22:12Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > That was the perfect time and place for a loud fart. I hate to encourage this sort of thing, but that would’ve been so very funny. Oh, who the heck am I kidding? I _love_ to encourage this sort of thing! Eve, when you’re off to the Lincoln Center today, be sure to take a “fart machine” with you in case you need to produce on cue! I say to take a machine because, of course, a lady would never _actually_ fart, let alone on cue. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/28 "2004-11-10T15:29:28Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Now I’m actually considering writing a liberal-angst detective play based on _Oedipus Rex_ and getting it staged, _just to piss this guy off_. > > I’m off to Lincoln Center now, wonder what I’ll hear in the elevator today? Go for it, **Eve** , I’m sure you’d be able to make it work! And I’d come to see it, again, just to piss that other guy off. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/29 "2004-11-10T15:38:14Z")
You know, I had a guinea pig named Edible Rex… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/30 "2004-11-10T15:44:37Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I’m off to Lincoln Center now, wonder what I’ll hear in the elevator today? The same guy as yesterday: “I had to get rid of Jocasta, the character just wasn’t working.” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/31 "2004-11-10T15:51:16Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > At the end, after he made his selection, he hands the list back to the waiter and says, “Gracias, senor” Did he go with the Boone’s Farm? ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/32 "2004-11-10T16:04:09Z")
“…the best thing about box wine is when you’re done, you take it apart and you’ve got cardboard to sleep _under_, and a shiny silver pillow to sleep _on_!” –overheard at a North Carolina BBQ ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/33 "2004-11-10T16:04:43Z")
I once was listening to two men behind me on a plane. They were discussing theater and one was looking at Architectural Digest. They had what I might call expensive New York accents. The part that sticks with me is: “Oh, look, this house is behind my father’s house at the Vineyard.” “That’s right, I recognize that patio furniture in the corner from your house.” “I’m afraid he’s going to leave the house to The Boy.” “Who is the The Boy?” “My father’s yoga instructor. If he leaves it to The Boy, I’m going to burn the place down.” I felt like I was in a play, or at least something on Fox. And it wasn’t even first class. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/34 "2004-11-10T16:16:13Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Possible responses- > > “I was just saying that the other day.” > > “So you’re portraying a left-wing mother-f’ing d\*ck?” Just too funny. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/35 "2004-11-10T16:25:25Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Now I’m actually considering writing a liberal-angst detective play based on _Oedipus Rex_ and getting it staged, _just to piss this guy off_. Crap. _::throws first act of play about private dick snooping into murder-incest triangle into trash::_ I can’t compete with that sort of pretension on Broadway. _::begins writing musical about feral dogs with hepatitis C::_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/36 "2004-11-10T16:50:10Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > Not a chance. My wife knows about a thing called _The Straight Dope_. And we’re not that old yet. And thanks for the kind words, which I don’t deserve. After all, the most pretentious empty-headed puppy in New York apparently knows as much as I do. I know the mods frown on this sort of thing, but the next time you are at the library you could set up a one-time-only sock puppet guest to post it under. I think your summation of Lysistrata would be really funny. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/37 "2004-11-10T17:17:06Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#): > > Still chancey. I prefer to rely on the advice of the sommelier at Wal-Mart. Well now, I know what my part-time job is going to be when I retire now. Except I want my name tag to say “The Old Fart In The Wine Aisle.” It’s much more prestigeous. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/38 "2004-11-10T17:17:46Z")
Once, I was looking at a medieval tapestry exhibit, in the Met. I walked up to a tapestry that depicted the first canto of Dante’s Inferno. In front of me was William F. Buckley Jr., explaining the canto to someone. I very quietly uttered a verse from it, in the original Italian, and moved on. I don’t think he heard me. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/39 "2004-11-10T17:20:20Z")
No. Stop it. You guys are _wrong_. All of you. _will now proceed to laugh hysterically through her professor’s lecture on Antigone and Oedipus Rex_ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942/40 "2004-11-10T18:47:14Z")
Nah, the correct response would have been to start singing PDQ Bach’s Oedipus Tex: “Howdy there! I’m Oedipus Tex! You may have heard of my brother Rex. I’m Oedipus, Oedipus, that’s what I said. But my friiiiiieeeends just call me Ed.” “Now the moral of the story is of course Don’t love your mother, pardner. Save it for your horse. I guarantee you will be filled with great remorse If you give your mom the love you should be saving for your horse.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-met-the-most-pretentious-man-in-new-york-today/273942.md?page=3)