# I miss men **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888 "2003-04-15T15:34:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/1 "2003-04-15T15:34:57Z")
I’ve not really dated in a while. I mean, I go out on dates (though those are fewer than they used to be), but there hasn’t been anyone serious in my life in a while. When I say that I miss men, I don’t mean sex. Yeah, I miss sex. I miss sex a _lot_. But what I really miss are other things about men. Their voices - the way they seem to resonate in their chests. Chest hair, and the way it feels sort of crinkly beneath your fingers when you touch it. The way they feel solid when you hug them, like you could hang on forever and stay there (I just don’t find women as solid feeling when you hug them). Don’t get me wrong - I’m not someone who feels like they have to be dating someone to be a complete person. I like who I am and who I am becoming as I get older. And I’m not looking for someone to date seriously. That’ll happen when it happens or if it happens. I just miss having close guy friends around on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/2 "2003-04-15T15:56:22Z")
Change that to I miss women… remove the chest hair thing and I’m in the same boat. As bizzare as it sounds. I want someone to cook for damnit! ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/3 "2003-04-15T15:57:21Z")
Watch “Seinfeld” much, **Lsura**? He had a thought on a situation like yours: “Men and women can’t be friends.” The older I get, the more true I believe this is. I have female coworkers. I have female aquaintances. I _had_ female lovers, once upon a time. But I have rarely, if ever, had a woman who was just “a friend,” and that’s it. I don’t think it’s impossible, and many of my peers claim to have done it. But I remain skeptical of their claims, and dubious that I can ever achieve a casual friendship with a woman myself. Too many issues. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/4 "2003-04-15T16:00:05Z")
I guess the point of my above post is, I miss sex. I don’t miss women. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/5 "2003-04-15T16:03:21Z")
I miss men. But I usually hit 'em on the second try. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/6 "2003-04-15T16:04:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*I guess the point of my above post is, I miss sex. I don’t miss women. \*\* :dubious: sounds rather like Statement B is responsible for Statement A. at least, from THIS side of the X-chromosome. lachesis ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/7 "2003-04-15T16:10:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lachesis \* > \*\*:dubious: > sounds rather like Statement B is responsible for Statement A. at least, from THIS side of the X-chromosome. > \*\* I don’t miss women, therefore I _do_ miss sex? I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean, unless you interpret only the second statement literally. But that’s assuming a lot about my character, on which you really have no basis to judge. And of course, you are also assuming women are the only means whereby one might procure sex. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/8 "2003-04-15T16:14:41Z")
Well, given that **lsura** is usually in the library, where they frown on such things, and \*\*Lizard[/b is in a state of confusion, this is not too surprising. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/9 "2003-04-15T16:24:41Z")
well, **Lizard,** whether you meant to or not, the second part of your original quote seemed to be implying “Eh, women. Who needs 'em?”. if such a sentiment did indeed exist, and your female contacts somehow sensed it, it might go a long way to explaining why the sex fount may have dried up a bit in your territory. and no, i obviously know better than to assume (at least on _these_ boards) that M/F is the only coupling combination possible. but your linking of sex and women in that quote rather makes females seem the choice of preference, if you had your druthers. lachesis ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/10 "2003-04-15T16:31:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Well, given that **lsura** is usually in the library, where they frown on such things, and **Lizard** is in a state of confusion, this is not too surprising. \*\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![j.c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@j.c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j.c)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/11 "2003-04-15T16:37:58Z")
Hey, some of my best friends are men - gay and straight and undeclared. (Undeclared is a lame-ass joke. Didn’t work, sorry. Can you think of a funny way to say “would be offended to be IDed by orientation”?) ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/12 "2003-04-15T17:18:01Z")
Lsura how _you_ doin? 😃 Really, though, I know what you mean. I love being single, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to hold. (And of course, sex would be nice.) ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/13 "2003-04-15T17:37:35Z")
**Lsura** , I’d be happy to give you a big hug and let you run your fingers through my chest hair, with or without sex, but I don’t have a library card. Will this do, for now? {{{{ **Lsura** }}}} ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/14 "2003-04-15T17:52:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j.c. \* > \*\*Hey, some of my best friends are men - gay and straight and undeclared. (Undeclared is a lame-ass joke. Didn’t work, sorry. Can you think of a funny way to say “would be offended to be IDed by orientation”?) \*\* You can count me as one of those: I’m sort of offended, not if you would refer to me as “straight”, but if you assumed I was straight. Except in threads about orientation, I never mention online or IRL that I am straight. Can I borrow that phrase from ya? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/15 "2003-04-15T18:13:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lachesis \* > \*\*well, **Lizard,** whether you meant to or not, the second part of your original quote seemed to be implying “Eh, women. Who needs 'em?”. if such a sentiment did indeed exist, and your female contacts somehow sensed it, it might go a long way to explaining why the sex fount may have dried up a bit in your territory. > > and no, i obviously know better than to assume (at least on _these_ boards) that M/F is the only coupling combination possible. but your linking of sex and women in that quote rather makes females seem the choice of preference, if you had your druthers. > \*\* Well, allow me to remove all trace of innuendo by saying outright about women “eh, who needs 'em?” You are right that I generally prefer tacos, not sausage. But my situation is more complex than simply “hostility driving women away,” and my “sex fount” has not exactly dried up. In fact, _I_ split with the last woman I dated of my own accord. (See here.) I consider getting laid to be one of the easiest things in the world to do. But these days, I’m not willing to expend even _that_ much effort. I recognize that all this is not exactly logical, but human nature rarely is. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/16 "2003-04-15T18:20:53Z")
how true. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/17 "2003-04-15T18:33:24Z")
I’d guess library sex would be quite stimulating. Let’s hear it for the Do me Decimal System. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/18 "2003-04-15T19:49:17Z")
Men: can’t live with 'em, can’t ki- oh wait. Just kidding. I miss men too. I have a super close male friend - but he is “just” a friend. We only hug when hugs are necessary. He’s shown up at my door with booze and hugs when I called him crying and things like that. But we don’t snuggle on the couch and I don’t really _want_ to run my fingers through his chest hair. He’s probably the friend I’m closest to, though. I DO want someone around who has chest hair I can run my fingers through and snuggle on the couch. I miss the sound of a male voice and that sort of thing. I wouldn’t mind having someone around to cook for sometimes. On the other hand, I don’t really want to go through the relationship stuff to have that. Well, sometimes I _think_ I do, but. . . I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/19 "2003-04-15T19:53:08Z")
Hugbuddies? ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888/20 "2003-04-15T20:01:56Z")
Ehn. Nah. There’s that whole thing where I don’t want to lay around and hug my friend, that might be weird. Plus, what guy would go for that? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-men/168888.md?page=2)