# I miss Microsoft Mary, do I have any hope of getting her back? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 29, 2011, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705 "2011-12-29T06:01:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705/1 "2011-12-29T06:01:20Z")
Oh, Microsoft Mary, I never meant to leave you, but it was a work thing, baby. And now I’m thinking about you every day. Your soothing robotic monotone. The way you would raise your voice for quotes and use a low rapid tone for parenthetical remarks. You were complete. You never left anything out. Your at times severe, slightly disapproving tone put a chill up my spine and now I can’t get you out of my head. But the man, baby, the man forced a switch on me to Windows 7 and I was shocked to learn you couldn’t come along for the ride. And now I’m stuck with that bitch Anna with her crazy-ass inflections and garbled short syllables – she claims she’s more natural but I can’t tell WHAT that ho is talking about baby!!! I need you back! I know Win 7 is an obstacle, but please baby, my own sweet Microsoft Mary, is there any chance for us? Or has Windows become an insurmountable Wall? Oh, and say hi to your brothers Sam and Mike. Sincerely, A Heartbroken TTS User ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705/2 "2011-12-29T13:21:09Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/_9W9DQOD-pA/hqdefault.jpg "How to Download Microsoft Sam,Mike and Mary's Voices") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9W9DQOD-pA) enjoy ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705/3 "2011-12-29T22:32:14Z")
I tried that, and the program wouldn’t actually produce any audio. However, I’ve had problems with my Realtek HD audio drivers in the past, so it might be related to that. ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705/4 "2011-12-30T01:17:37Z")
I also tried it and got a half dozen superfluous applications. Including one that supposedly adds a donation to the ASPCA when you use certain online stores. So unless you want to give someone access to your bank accounts, perhaps you shouldn’t follow the directions in that link. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-miss-microsoft-mary-do-i-have-any-hope-of-getting-her-back/607705/5 "2011-12-30T13:01:52Z")
Not sure if this will work for Win 7, but try downloading the “Sp5TTIntXP.exe” file from the Microsoft Speech SDK 5.1 page: > **[Speech Software Development Kit 5.1](https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=10121)** > > The Microsoft Speech SDK 5.1 adds Automation support to the features of the previous version of the Speech SDK. You can now use the Win32 Speech API (SAPI) to develop speech applications with Visual Basic ®, ECMAScript and other Automation languages. “If you want to get only the Mike and Mary voices redistributable for Windows XP, download Mike and Mary redistributables (Sp5TTIntXP.exe).” Or maybe try the MS voices download on this page (not tested): [http://www.bytecool.com/voices.htm](http://www.bytecool.com/voices.htm)