# I MPSIMS house flies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519 "2006-08-06T02:21:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519/1 "2006-08-06T02:21:34Z")
You filthy little poop legs. I loathe the way you sneak into the house through the tiniest holes in the screens. I hate the way you hang out near the door, zooming in under the radar when I enter or exit the house. I hate your incessant, loud buzzing as you fly from window to window, room to room, zigging and zagging. You make me recoil and retch every time I sit down and get comfortable and you appear out of thin air, disrupting everything from a pleasant meal to a nice wank. MUST you interrupt EVERYthing??? I can’t stand how have to touch everything with your filthy, disease and bacteria cesspool…feet or stumps or whatever the hell they are. And when I finally nail you with a dish towel, I get nauseated when I use a piece of tissue to pick you up but squeeze too hard and I feel you make this disGUSting pop/squish sound. There isn’t enough Meyer’s Clean Day soap in the world to scrub your vile, filthy essence off my hands and out of my soul. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519/2 "2006-08-06T04:19:12Z")
> [@Runs With Scissors](#): > > You make me recoil and retch every time I sit down and get comfortable and you appear out of thin air, disrupting everything from a **pleasant meal to a nice wank**. Because those two go so well together! I have those little drain flies…fuckers are \*hard \* to kill! I feel your anguish. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519/3 "2006-08-06T17:06:36Z")
I hate the one that buzzes around my head at 5 a.m., when I’m trying to sleep. Our dog chases flies and eats them. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519/4 "2006-08-06T17:15:18Z")
The common housefly is without a doubt _the_ ugliest looking abomination ever devised by Og. Especially when you flip through the NYT _Science Times_ section and are suddenly confronted with an electron micrograph of one enlarged to the size of a basketball. Something about the total malevolent expressionlessness of the little fucker’s eyes, and their incredibly superfine and precise facets _right next_ to his coarse spiky hair and mouth suckers, makes me want to crawl out of my skin and run in 18 different directions at once. **shudder** ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-mpsims-house-flies/367519/5 "2006-08-06T17:58:19Z")
Lighter + aerosol deodorant = flytoast. Though sometimes it only burns off their wings and you have to squash it yourself. …what?