# I must be an outlier on the sdmb **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2013, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168 "2013-09-06T12:24:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/21 "2013-09-06T20:03:01Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > And centuries later, when mistranslations creep into that saying and get spread amongst the faithful, and the Popeye literalists insist Popeye said “I sweet potato what I sweet potato”, what then will you do? > > 😕 Ow. How do you treat coffee burns to the sinuses, **QtM**? Regarding the OP, I’ll join your club. I have suffered very little reaction to my atheism. I think it helps that I don’t have a combative personality, and I don’t have any interest in changing the minds of believers unless they choose to engage me in direct debate. I don’t object to religious rituals (like church weddings and baptisms) and I remain respectfully silent during prayers. Courtesy goes a long way toward inspiring tolerance. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/22 "2013-09-06T20:23:08Z")
I’ve come to atheism/agnosticism fairly recently (over the last few years, when I finally admitted to myself that despite the fact that I was raised Christian, the whole thing never really ‘took’ with me). Nowadays I just joke about being a ‘heathen’ and I don’t apologize for it. The spouse’s family are all very religious, and the spouse himself has become more religious over the past few years (he goes to church every week, is involved in church activities, etc.) However, none of them give me a hard time about it. They don’t treat me any differently, they don’t try to convert me…I’ve often complained to the spouse that most of his family doesn’t really “get” me, but that doesn’t extend to religion. About the only thing that happens sometimes is that the spouse and I get into “discussions” about some religion-based topics, but mostly we just avoid them. Better for both of us. 🙂 When we go to visit his family, I just don’t participate in the religious stuff. Once a year we go to a church service/barbecue thing, and I sit politely through the service without praying or taking communion. They do their thing, I do mine, and we coexist. I’ve never had anyone hassle me about my lack of interest in religion. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/23 "2013-09-06T20:34:16Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > I live in England and the only people ever to ask about faith are those weird American missionary religions, such as the LDS or the JWs. Maybe once every 6 months. They and I are both polite and they leave after I explain I’m just going out. > Ordinary people may once in a while discuss religion but never in my life has anyone given the least bit of hassle about it. I will say that if anyone played christian music nearby me, my tolerance of christians would plummet. > To be fair, I think a lot of these encounters in America happen in atheists’ heads, due to long brooding about the wickedness of religion and having had vigorous sessions of argument beforehand both in their minds and on the internet with other atheists; and although not a christian myself, have we not the highest authority that the Thought is the Deed ? And therefore in the eye of pure faith these encounters are as real as if they had actually happened. I thought it was all a bit made up (being likewise English and atheist), until I went to stay with my extended family, who live in Australia, of all places. I’d only seen them on occasional visits, and I didn’t realise how religious they were, but some of them definitely had the attitude that I was not really a proper person- my Aunt was slightly uncomfortable about me being near her children, and they (late teens, early 20s) just didn’t seem to _get_ the concept of not being a Christian. I don’t think they knew anyone else who wasn’t. I didn’t even push it- just went with the ‘not religious’, but it seemed to really confuse and upset them all. Very odd. I’m not sure how they managed to find such a religious enclave in a country so generally apathetic about the whole thing, but they had. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/24 "2013-09-06T22:11:41Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > Ow. How do you treat coffee burns to the sinuses, **QtM**? Neti pot using distilled water, kosher salt, and bicarbonate. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/25 "2013-09-06T22:50:10Z")
I’ve lived all my life in the upper midwest, and while I don’t feel oppressed over my lack of belief, it certainly is expected that I am a Christian and attend church somewhere. It’s not an uncommon question to have a new neighbor, a new co-worker, or a friend of a friend ask “Where do you go to church?”. Answering “I don’t” won’t get you ostricised, but it is an unexpected answer. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/26 "2013-09-06T23:03:17Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > The one time it happened to me, I was browsing the snack aisle in a drug store while on my lunch break when some skinny guy in a hard hat came up and asked me if I had found Jesus. Caught me off guard and I was like, “What? Is he missing?” There was a story a couple years ago about a teenager who was banned from a public library because he would accost patrons and witness to them, and had been told repeatedly to stop doing this. A pastor who posts on another board said that she had always been taught that this is exactly NOT the way to do it. I agree. Someone on that same board lived in Europe and wanted to visit the U.S., but was afraid this would happen to her. We told her that it was unlikely outside the quadrangles of some college campuses, and if anyone does do this, just walk away. I’m Christian, BTW. My experience with atheists who get harassed about it is that they bring it on themselves by insulting the beliefs of people who disagree with them. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/27 "2013-09-07T01:18:03Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’m Christian, BTW. My experience with atheists who get harassed about it is that they bring it on themselves by insulting the beliefs of people who disagree with them. :rolleyes: Everyone assumes their own experiences are universal. They’re not. In my experience, anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/28 "2013-09-07T02:43:24Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Everyone assumes their own experiences are universal. > > They’re not. In my experience, anyway. 😃 I know that. It’s only MY two cents. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/29 "2013-09-07T04:28:00Z")
Same as the OP. Born and raised in the Bay, moved away now. But I’m in academia. I can’t remember the last time I’ve met a preachy Christian person\*, preachy Atheists are more common, although most people would say “not religious” and leave it at that if pressed. \*I am not counting random street preacher types. Friends, acquaintances, and coworkers. > [@Incubus](#): > > I 've asked my wife if she’d ever want to relocate, and she looked at me like I had three heads. You could always go to Portland, “where young people go to retire.” > [@](#): > > I remind myself that anywhere cheaper would be compromising on things we value the most- diversity, schools, commute, and family. :eek: We’re talking about the same Bay Area right? The one with crappy schools and crappy commutes in most cases? > [@Balance](#): > > The people who came in for the most religious guff were the local Catholics. Were they also _gasp_ not white? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/30 "2013-09-07T06:43:48Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Were they also _gasp_ not white? They were pretty much all white, actually. Were you guessing Hispanic? Not that the local culture wasn’t plenty racist, but it wasn’t a factor in the behavior I described. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/31 "2013-09-07T09:42:47Z")
I live in Canada’s Bible Belt; which is mostly Mormon and fundamentalist Christians. I am occasionally asked which church I attend. I defer the question. While I am nominally Christian, I haven’t regularly attended church in years. On the occasions that I have attended, it’s been mostly because a friend who conducts a local church choir has wanted my voice for specific pieces. (I sang in church choir for years back in Ontario, and am familiar with popular choir pieces.) I can read vocal music, his sect is inoffensive (United Church of Canada), and it’s fun to sing in a choir again. Outside of that, Sundays are for watching football and drinking beer. Unless I go to the racetrack. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/32 "2013-09-07T11:50:43Z")
Good OP. I live in KANSAS\*, fed Chrissakes, and I’ve never had anyone rudely challenge or question my atheism. Certainly not a stranger or mild acquintance. And I’ve lived in Mexico – same. \*Okay, fine, the People’s Republic of Lawrence. Point taken. But still. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/33 "2013-09-07T17:56:35Z")
The only flak/curiosity/bewilderment I’ve ever received for my beliefs is from 1. atheists who can’t believe I’m a Christian, 2. leftists who can’t believe I’m Catholic, and 3.) New-Agers who can’t believe I am a member of a western church. Of course that could be due to where I live. However, once I became a Christian in my mid-thirties, I realized that there were Christians all over the place, that I had lots of friends whom I never noticed went to church every Sunday and always had. Nobody had ever offered anything of a proselytizing nature unless you count my high school friends inviting me to their church youth group (Episcopalian, I believe). We sang silly songs is all I can remember, and everyone seemed happy in an uncomplicated way, which is exactly why I never went back. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/34 "2013-09-07T18:25:28Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > I’ve lived all my life in the upper midwest, and while I don’t feel oppressed over my lack of belief, it certainly is expected that I am a Christian and attend church somewhere. It’s not an uncommon question to have a new neighbor, a new co-worker, or a friend of a friend ask “Where do you go to church?”. Answering “I don’t” won’t get you ostricised, but it is an unexpected answer. Me too, but when I answer that I am a lapsed Catholic, they come at me with pamphlets and prayers and invitations to their church. It probably doesn’t help that I live in an area loaded with Evangelical and Baptist churches and my house is back to back with one of them. It wasn’t such a problem when I lived in St. Paul. I am polite but firm and that usually gets them to leave off. If not, I tell them that my problem with the Catholic religion is the same problem I have against other religions so I won’t be changing and, no, I don’t want to discuss it. That does the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/35 "2013-09-07T22:31:09Z")
I’ve never had any problems as an adult. But again, I’ve been in the SF Bay Area steadily since 8th grade. Despite a solid minority of conservative evangelicals in the far eastern reaches of the region, the default is probably to assume most folks are a bit godless around here ;). As a kid in NYC, I had a very Catholic babysitter kinda scare me into praying at night, without meaning to. I was in 1rst grade and she was genuinely worried about my parent’s atheism out of fondness for us all. It sorta stuck halfheartedly as a fallback for a few years when I was stressed, but I had abandoned it long before I hit puberty. I was quiet about my atheism as an adolescent in places like Michigan and it almost never came up with my peers - I don’t recall it ever being an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/36 "2013-09-08T23:05:55Z")
In my experience in Canada a person’s religious beliefs just never come up in ordinary conversation. I have no idea what religious beliefs most of my friends and co-workers have, and would not expect to know. We have LDS and JW proselytizers show up at the door every year or two, but they go away when we say we aren’t interested. Nobody has ever hassled me about my beliefs because why would they know them? ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168/37 "2013-09-08T23:53:50Z")
My experience is mostly centered at the University of Minnesota campus, but in Minneapolis I’ve rarely gotten flak for my religious beliefs, and harassing atheists for their lack thereof is rare enough that the atheist student group has to pick fights with the religious students to provoke the dose of intolerance they seem to occasionally require. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-an-outlier-on-the-sdmb/668168.md?page=1)