# I must be guilty of something **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373 "2015-02-11T05:52:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/21 "2015-02-11T18:57:59Z")
\*“We realize at first this may seem odd; however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off guard,” the principal wrote in her letter. “The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive.” \* Tin soldiers? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/22 "2015-02-11T19:31:28Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > \*“We realize at first this may seem odd; however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off guard,” the principal wrote in her letter. “The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive.” \* > > Tin soldiers? Just close your eyes and visualize hurled peas. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/23 "2015-02-11T19:36:06Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Yes, you are guilty of something and that something is [mopery](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mopery). Count yourself fortunate because it is a capital offense in at least four states (especially when combined with intent to gawk). I always thought mopery was “exposing yourself to a blind person”. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![wellanuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/24 "2015-02-11T20:09:19Z")
You are guilty of being a non-staff person inside a school building without having passed through security protocols. If you are a male, count your lucky stars that they didn’t summon the police. (If you think I am exaggerating, my local school called the police last year when a father came early and parked outside of the school, waiting to pick up his child for a dentist appointment. The staff member relating the story was proud of how rapidly the school and police responded. Of course, mothers do the same thing without the police needing to be summoned.) I have had kids in the local schools for 20 years, and I am so irritated by the security systems that they have put in and the attitude/thought-processes that they represent that I dread days when I have to visit the school while it is in session. When I was a kid in the 1970s (this same town, which happens to be an exceptionally safe town), none of the school doors were locked, and visitors could basically come and go as they pleased. I am not aware of any incidents. Then in the 1980s there was Laurie Dann. A legitimately horrifying story, she was someone with psychological problems who went into a grade school and shot and killed a number of children. A true outlier also, but I can understand schools locking doors as a result. When my kids started going to school 20 years ago, doors were locked except for the front door by the office. If you visited the school, you walked into the office, signed in, filled out a name tag, and went on your way. At the end of the school day, parents could wait in the lobby on winter days while waiting for their kids. (Kindergartners, 1st graders) Now, if you visit the school, there is a double entryway for you to be buzzed in twice that leads directly into the office, where you have to have your ID scanned on a system that checks you against the sex offender registry (the Raptor system). Every time you visit. Parents are not allowed to wait in the school lobby, no matter how bitterly cold it is outside. Of course, if you were to actually question the need for all of this, well, why don’t you want our children to be safe? Shouldn’t we do everything we can? What if something happened?..etc. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/25 "2015-02-11T20:49:40Z")
Good thing your art supplies didn’t include a squirt gun. You’d have been locked up for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/26 "2015-02-11T21:30:59Z")
You are now on Double Secret Probation! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/27 "2015-02-11T21:55:34Z")
The only ‘security protocol’ they had in school when I was a kid were signs on the _unlocked_ doors that said ‘All visitors must report to the office.’ Said office was on the second floor of the high school section of the building (small town). ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/28 "2015-02-11T22:00:32Z")
- frowns sternly and strokes index finger at **Whatever4**. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/29 "2015-02-11T22:01:21Z")
> [@edwardcoast](#): > > Even before security concerns, academia is in it’s own little world. I’m so fed up with their attitudes in general, I think if I were in your situation and they didn’t treat me kindly I would have left and donated it elsewhere. Maybe, but this isn’t “academia” it’s an elementary school. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/30 "2015-02-11T22:18:24Z")
I’ve gotten those looks occasionally too, when I’ve shown up to substitute teach. I just tell them why I’m there, and after a few times they seem to remember me. On the other hand, it’s also quite common to buzz the intercom by the door, and for the staff inside to respond by just opening the electronic lock, without even asking who I am. It’s also not uncommon to then walk right past a metal detector gate at the side of the hallway, without any restrictions to force you to walk through it, nor a security guard manning it. Those things must have cost a lot of money-- Why do they have them if they’re not going to use them? ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/31 "2015-02-12T00:03:13Z")
> [@edwardcoast](#): > > Even before security concerns, academia is in it’s own little world. I’m so fed up with their attitudes in general, I think if I were in your situation and they didn’t treat me kindly I would have left and donated it elsewhere. I so wish I’d done just that. I’m going to have nightmares about some kid getting a splinter from a craft stick and me being stuck with a plastic surgery bill to repair the injury lest Little Snookums’ future career as a nail technician be jeopardized. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/32 "2015-02-12T00:06:24Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Maybe, but this isn’t “academia” it’s an elementary school. Elementary school is just its cover. It’s a little kingdom filled with presciousses who are guarded by the dragon lady in her lair. I volunteered in a similar school and it was a teacher v. principal war zone. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/33 "2015-02-12T00:07:50Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > - frowns sternly and strokes index finger at **Whatever4**. :mad: hangs head and promises not to do it again ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/34 "2015-02-12T00:09:06Z")
> [@Encinitas](#): > > You are now on Double Secret Probation! Will I have to wear an ankle bracelet? I hope it’s a cute one. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/35 "2015-02-12T00:11:32Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Good thing your art supplies didn’t include a squirt gun. You’d have been locked up for sure. Oh, dear … there are some clay cutters in a box. They are sharp. I didn’t put a blaze orange warning on the container! I am well and truly doomed. Who wants my yarn? ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/36 "2015-02-12T00:23:40Z")
! _yarn???_ ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/37 "2015-02-12T00:25:20Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > (post shortened) > > Is it possible that those _looks_ that upset you so weren’t about you but were a result of the realization that someone had not followed school safety/security protocol? Maybe you haven’t heard the stories of disgruntled, sociopathic, monsters bringing bombs, and bullets, into schools? I suspect that the teachers, and staff are well aware of them. Oh, please, lighten up. I’d have followed every protocol, silly as many of them are, if the idiot teacher expecting the freebies had told me of them and told the principal about the freebies as well. They should have been thanking me for letting them know that their lock-down had a flaw. At a minimum, offer me a seat, SMILE, and begin a conversation that expresses concern and how can we handle this? They can lock every damn door in the place and somebody armed can shoot out every non-bullet proof window in a flash and be gone before the two or three cops could get their car started. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/38 "2015-02-12T00:27:07Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > ! _yarn???_ cashmere, handspun Shetland, mohair, are you drooling yet? ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/39 "2015-02-12T00:36:29Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Now you know: you call the school before going & you call from outside to be let in. > > You’re just lucky that all those teachers weren’t armed… I first regarded this with a chuckle but as I drove around town today I got a creepy feeling. Suppose someone had been armed? Or the doors alarmed? Things could have gotten serious very quickly. I don’t know what the answer to school safety is, but I don’t think growing up in an atmosphere of siege mentality is healthy, either. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373/40 "2015-02-12T01:01:28Z")
> [@Whatever4](#): > > I so wish I’d done just that. I’m going to have nightmares about some kid getting a splinter from a craft stick and me being stuck with a plastic surgery bill to repair the injury lest Little Snookums’ future career as a nail technician be jeopardized. Good thing we don’t have to worry about all the Adam Lanzas or Sex Offenders in the world using cheap AC Moore construction paper as an “in” to get at our kids in the classrooms. You want to donate? Follow the Rules or The Road. Your Call. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-guilty-of-something/712373.md?page=3)