# I must be the only woman on earth who doesn't think this is funny **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457 "2015-11-24T17:53:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/1 "2015-11-24T17:53:59Z")
TL : DR - a woman found out her husband of 12 years, and father of their two children, was cheating on her when he came out of the shower covered in hickeys, and she wrote a diatribe to the girlfriend on FACEBOOK! :eek: I’m getting flamed on another website because I don’t think it’s funny at all. There are a lot of reasons why you’re not supposed to bash your ex, or STBX, on social media, and this couple has two of them. > **[Glamour Page](http://www.glamourpage.com/after-12-years-of-marriage-wife-finds-bite-marks-all-over-her-husbands-body-now-heres-what-she-has-to-say-to-his-mistress/?utm_source=ape_jumblejoy)** > > Discover what’s trending in beauty, fashion, and health news, plus catch up on the latest gossip from Hollywood! Would anyone think it was funny if a man wrote a similar letter on Facebook to his wife’s boyfriend? Didn’t think so. I’m very aware that nowadays, it is never appropriate to tell a woman that a divorce wasn’t all his fault, but guess what? I think that’s the case here (assuming, of course, that it’s real). ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/2 "2015-11-24T18:33:30Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’m very aware that nowadays, it is never appropriate to tell a woman that a divorce wasn’t all his fault, . Why? Only to women in denial. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/3 "2015-11-24T18:49:51Z")
I agree it’s not at all funny. Especially that last one. She’s going to regret that; it will be used against her in Custody decisions. Also the public admission of violence, and his responding with calm discussion and apology? Yeah, the judge is going to give him the kids. Poor lady. She has every right to be angry, and it’s perfectly human to have those thoughts. But when she made those thoughts public, with an assertion of intent, she bought herself a dump truck load of excrement. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/4 "2015-11-24T18:55:48Z")
Not a woman, but that’s sad, not funny. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/5 "2015-11-24T19:00:29Z")
Assuming this is real, all parties involved sound like losers. Cheaters are scumbags, the wife sounds like a shrew, and what the hell kind of grown woman leaves hickeys or bite marks or whatever? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/6 "2015-11-24T19:04:35Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’m very aware that nowadays, it is never appropriate to tell a woman that a divorce wasn’t all his fault, but guess what? I think that’s the case here (assuming, of course, that it’s real). Why do you think it’s the case she shares some of the blame? Because she’s the kind of woman who would post something like this (assuming, of course, it’s real)? Her reactions to this situation probably do not describe her character in real life. This is an unbelievably stressful, painful bombshell, and I don’t think it’s fair to extrapolate this to her general personality. I didn’t find it funny, either, but I’m a guy. P.S. I had to look up what a tweaker was. More evidence that it’s the husband’s fault, in my estimation. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/7 "2015-11-24T19:33:22Z")
I don’t just find this not funny, if real then she is an absolutely terrible person. If a guy was bragging about punching his wife, no one would sit around saying that it’s funny. The guy is at least a dishonest jerk, but he isn’t the one who commited domestic violence. He also isn’t the one making fun of a former partner’s disability and asserting that it makes him not a real man. I disagree with bup, the way people act in real life most definitely reflects their character in real life, in fact stressful situations are the only real test of character. It’s easy to be nice when everything is going your way, real character is what you do when things aren’t easy. I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship far longer than I should have because I believed that nonsense that it’s not fair to judge people on how they treat you when they’re angry. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/8 "2015-11-24T19:33:26Z")
I’m a guy, but I don’t see anything funny here either. Getting caught by hickeys is a little humorous, so it starts with comedy potential… but nothing else there is anything but sad and pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/9 "2015-11-24T19:54:24Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > If a guy was bragging about punching his wife, no one would sit around saying that it’s funny. The guy is at least a dishonest jerk, but he isn’t the one who commited domestic violence. I guess I’m sexist. It does make a difference to me if a man hits a woman, versus a woman hitting a man. > [@](#): > > He also isn’t the one making fun of a former partner’s disability and asserting that it makes him not a real man. That is an excellent point. > [@](#): > > I disagree with bup, the way people act in real life most definitely reflects their character in real life, in fact stressful situations are the only real test of character. It’s easy to be nice when everything is going your way, real character is what you do when things aren’t easy. I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship far longer than I should have because I believed that nonsense that it’s not fair to judge people on how they treat you when they’re angry. That’s also an excellent point, but I don’t know how to reconcile it with the [fundamental attribution error](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error). I’m glad you’re free of an abusive relationship; nevertheless, if one were to judge me by how I acted on my worst day, you’d almost certainly think I was an asshole. Perhaps the difference is that abusers use the excuse of ‘the shit hit the fan’ whether it’s true or not, and they excuse their own behavior, and do it more than this once-in-a-lifetime (one hopes) kind of situation. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/10 "2015-11-24T20:04:10Z")
This whole thing is just stupid. People who like to point-and-laugh probably think it’s funny, though. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Would anyone think it was funny if a man wrote a similar letter on Facebook to his wife’s boyfriend? Didn’t think so. What? Yes they would. Can I ask what made you share this here, and why do you think all sorts of people think this is funny? This is just junk news from a clickbait website that only exists to show ads to people who like to click “Share” on Facebook. What makes you think all of the other women in the world but you are even having a reaction this story? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/11 "2015-11-24T20:13:23Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Not a woman, but that’s sad, not funny. I’m a woman, but that was my reaction, too. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/12 "2015-11-24T20:22:08Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I guess I’m sexist. It does make a difference to me if a man hits a woman, versus a woman hitting a man. So what you’re saying is that you believe that domestic violence is OK as long as it’s a woman assaulting a man. What about same sex couples, which ones is it OK to beat a partner in? What if the man is disabled, does that make a difference too, or is it cool for a woman to beat a quadraplegic on the basis of genital configuration? (BTW, the man in this example is at least partially disabled according to her story). > [@](#): > > That’s also an excellent point, but I don’t know how to reconcile it with the [fundamental attribution error](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error). I’m glad you’re free of an abusive relationship; nevertheless, if one were to judge me by how I acted on my worst day, you’d almost certainly think I was an asshole. The fundamental attribution error is about ignoring legitimate contributing circumstances, for example deciding that someone is a bad driver without taking into account that they had a seizure (from your link). In this case, there are no circumstances that I am ignoring - the only circumstances that justify assaulting a partner is self-defense, and in her tale he did not attack her, so that error is irrelevant. Being mad is not a justification for assault. If you beat your partner on your ‘worst day’, you ARE an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/13 "2015-11-24T20:42:12Z")
I read a lot of rage and hurt in that posting, and I don’t really see much humour in it. I do wonder if it’s real - it sounds like the fantasy version of how that kind of betrayal goes down, but then again, I’ve seen a lot of dirty laundry aired on facebook, so who knows. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/14 "2015-11-24T22:58:14Z")
If we choose to believe that everything in the letter is true (including what the man supposedly told his wife), then we have two very fucked-up people, and I’m sorry to hear that they have children. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/15 "2015-11-24T23:04:09Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I’m glad you’re free of an abusive relationship; nevertheless, if one were to judge me by how I acted on my worst day, you’d almost certainly think I was an asshole. I don’t know. Just how badly did you act on your worst day? If you, say, yelled at someone, or said something really cruel, and then regretted it later, you are not an asshole. You were just having a bad day. If, on the other hand, you punched someone in the face out of anger (not self-defense) and then bragged about it later, then regardless of your gender, you are indeed an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2015, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/16 "2015-11-24T23:52:51Z")
The posting sounds totally fake, like a revenge fantasy; it may or may not be. The sad part is that the person who selected it clearly _assumes_ people reading it will approve of the woman who wrote it. From the site: > [@](#): > > Take a look at Melanie’s 7 brutal rules, and feel free to give her a big round of applause when you’re done reading: There is no way that this ugly post deserves a “big round of applause”. ---
**Author:** ![Abner\_Ravenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@Abner\_Ravenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abner_Ravenwood)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/17 "2015-11-25T00:06:14Z")
Melanie’s really holding onto that grudge. [http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/230341349.html?lang=en&cc=us](http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/230341349.html?lang=en&cc=us) Craigslist post from 2006. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/18 "2015-11-25T00:23:37Z")
So, it really belongs on Snopes, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/19 "2015-11-25T00:49:53Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2015, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457/20 "2015-11-25T01:12:00Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > The posting sounds totally fake, like a revenge fantasy . . . Yeah, this is clearly an example of a whole genre of internet folklore. There was another one on this board only a few weeks ago. > [@Malthus](#): > > The sad part is that the person who selected it clearly _assumes_ people reading it will approve of the woman who wrote it. It’s also kind of sad how vicariously moralistic people get with these stories, endlessly engaging in granular discussion of the dynamics within the lives totally unremarkable, anonymous people. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-must-be-the-only-woman-on-earth-who-doesnt-think-this-is-funny/738457.md?page=2)