# I Need a Banjo **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157 "2001-07-12T00:00:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/1 "2001-07-12T00:00:51Z")
I wanna learn to play the banjo. But I can’t afford a banjo. So I need a banjo. Somebody send me a banjo. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/2 "2001-07-12T00:02:57Z")
You could always make a banjo. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/3 "2001-07-12T00:06:08Z")
**Euty** ’s gone all _Deliverence_ on us!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/4 "2001-07-12T00:16:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > **Euty’s gone all _Deliverence_ on us!!** It’s all that Southern influence! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/5 "2001-07-12T00:25:17Z")
hmmmm Euty’s gonna make us squeal like pigs!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/6 "2001-07-12T00:32:01Z")
Ok, maybe this should go in the Things I firmly believe about posters I’ve never met thread. But Euty, I always imagined you playing the banjo. ---
**Author:** ![girlwithwings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@girlwithwings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/girlwithwings)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/7 "2001-07-12T00:53:05Z")
i actually have a banjo propped up against the wall in the living room. I found it in my grandparent’s basement when they were moving out and have kept it around ever since. I can’t really play it. It has a kick-ass faux alligator case. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/8 "2001-07-12T02:57:41Z")
Better give him the banjo, **girl.** He can find out where you live. Pssst… **Euty,** old pal, you do NOT want a banjo. Banjos are more trouble than they’re worth. I got me a five-string banjo when I was seventeen, and I’ve regretted it ever since. Two serious hours with a banjo, serious finger-bleeding hours, and you can convince yourself that you’re the greatest guitarist since Django. ANYTHING but the fucking banjo. Look here…I can get you behind a nice used bass clarinet. Whaddaya say? You can stand in front of the mirror and pretend you’re Eric Dolphy. ---
**Author:** ![girlwithwings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@girlwithwings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/girlwithwings)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/9 "2001-07-12T03:41:45Z")
i wouldn’t be totally opposed to giving away the banjo… as long as i can keep the case 🙂 sure, it’s a little weird to give something away to a complete stranger, but… i lose more things that way 😉 ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/10 "2001-07-12T03:58:51Z")
I hear there’s this punk-ass from Alabama with one on his knee, for some inexplicable reason. Contrary to what he may think, though, ain’t nobody cryin’ for him. I suggest you find him and rob him. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/11 "2001-07-12T05:01:31Z")
There are many cheaper, but few more effective male contraceptives than a banjo. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/12 "2001-07-12T05:42:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*There are many cheaper, but few more effective male contraceptives than a banjo. \*\* Oh. _That_ explains it. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/13 "2001-07-12T05:47:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*There are many cheaper, but few more effective male contraceptives than a banjo. \*\* Let’s get into the spirit of equal opportunity! I’m sure a woman could drive off suitors with equal ability were she to pick up a banjo. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/14 "2001-07-12T06:54:37Z")
You gonna pick it or beat it? ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/15 "2001-07-12T14:16:36Z")
I have a 5-string I might be willing to let go cheap. Email me Euty. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/16 "2001-07-12T14:19:19Z")
I always wanted to learn to play the banjo… sadly, old age has robbed my fingers of their limberitude… another career path denied. \ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/17 "2001-07-12T14:31:08Z")
I always wanted to learn to play the banjo… sadly, old age has robbed my fingers of their limberitude… another career path denied. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/18 "2001-07-12T16:25:02Z")
I always wondered: is it possible to play a sad song on the banjo? Every song I’ve ever heard with banjo in it has been happy or at least lively. And by the way, the musical instrument least likely to get you laid is obviously the accordion, Wierd Al notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/19 "2001-07-12T16:57:58Z")
You need a WHAT?!?!?! (Said only SLIGHTLY fascetiously ☹ ) So, you want to end ALL hope for reconcilliation between you and your wife? ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157/20 "2001-07-12T17:02:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doug Bowe \* > \*\*You gonna pick it or beat it? \*\* What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, banjos. Count me in among the guys who always wanted to try a banjo. Although I think I’d lean towards the Béla Fleck style than the “Now let’s you just drop them pants.” style. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-banjo/72157.md?page=2)