# I Need a Loud Ass Alarm Clock **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 21, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394 "2004-02-21T18:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/1 "2004-02-21T18:26:51Z")
I’m a heavy sleeper, and my current alarm clocks just ain’t cutting it anymore, so I need something **louder** , much louder. Something that would wake old Jehovah cause Him to soil Himself with fright would be perfect. Anybody got any suggestions? (Preferrably with dB ratings.) ---
**Author:** ![raizok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@raizok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raizok)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/2 "2004-02-21T19:09:42Z")
Heh, are you saying you cant even wake up with your usual alarm clock set at maximum volume? Thats hilarious. Might as well start rigging a bucket of water over your head so that it’ll fall down on you at a certain time 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/3 "2004-02-21T19:15:59Z")
> [@raizok](#): > > Heh, are you saying you cant even wake up with your usual alarm clock set at maximum volume? > > Thats hilarious. Might as well start rigging a bucket of water over your head so that it’ll fall down on you at a certain time 🙂 It’s worse than that, really. I’ve got **two** alarm clocks placed so that I have to get up out of bed to even hit the snooze alarm on them, and when they go off (at slightly different times), I’ll get up, hit the snooze _or turn them off_ and wake up some hours later **never remembering that I’ve done this!** ---
**Author:** ![raizok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@raizok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raizok)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/4 "2004-02-21T19:19:23Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > It’s worse than that, really. I’ve got **two** alarm clocks placed so that I have to get up out of bed to even hit the snooze alarm on them, and when they go off (at slightly different times), I’ll get up, hit the snooze _or turn them off_ and wake up some hours later **never remembering that I’ve done this!** Thats just wrong. You’re on your way to becoming exactly like this one guy I know who has SIX alarm clocks strewn all around his room. My jaw dropped when I saw his setup. Maybe you should just try and get your eight hours a night instead of the 3 or 4 that you’re probably getting right now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/5 "2004-02-21T19:22:32Z")
My alarm clock is some kind of Garfield clock. It’s just his face with the LED readout. No idea where I got it. But the damn thing is LOUD and obnoxious as hell. Worse, if you don’t turn it off within a minute, it gets LOUDER and the alarm beep/buzz/siren thingie gets more urgent. It’s this grating, high pitched beeping. ---
**Author:** ![Quint\_Essence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/54ee81/32.png) [@Quint\_Essence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint_Essence)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/6 "2004-02-21T19:32:20Z")
in a lot of truckstops you can find an alarm clock that seriously SHRIEKS at you. My son drives truck and needed something really loud in part because it often got knocked over or covered by pillows or blankets. (that and he is like a stone when asleep) This thing (i think it may have even been called “the Shrieker” alarm clock, will just about cause someone to come wake your ass up just to stop the noise. It really is obnoxious. And effective. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/7 "2004-02-21T19:42:44Z")
Hide it behind something so that it’s physically impossible to turn it off from bed. ---
**Author:** ![raizok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@raizok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raizok)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/8 "2004-02-21T19:51:23Z")
> [@Gadfly](#): > > Hide it behind something so that it’s physically impossible to turn it off from bed. Or better yet, keep it in a small wooden box with a combination lock on it. Spending a minute trying to get it to open should be long enough to stay awake afterwards. I still prefer having the S.O. wake me up with a BJ though but thats just me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/9 "2004-02-21T20:22:31Z")
> [@Quint Essence](#): > > in a lot of truckstops you can find an alarm clock that seriously SHRIEKS at you. My son drives truck and needed something really loud in part because it often got knocked over or covered by pillows or blankets. (that and he is like a stone when asleep) > This thing (i think it may have even been called “the Shrieker” alarm clock, will just about cause someone to come wake your ass up just to stop the noise. It really is obnoxious. And effective. Yeah, I was going to suggest this too. I’ve got one, and along with my other two clocks it seems to be doing the trick. So far, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![GreyWanderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@GreyWanderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreyWanderer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/10 "2004-02-21T21:16:14Z")
Get [this alarm clock](http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=605). ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/11 "2004-02-21T21:48:46Z")
Now that’s a cool alarm clock. Couple of suggestions: 1. If it has a line out/headphone jack, and you have a sound card in your PC, and good speakers, run the line into the ‘line in’ on the card, and set the volume accordingly on the speakers. **Experimental** , Caution: If it doesn’t, you open up the clock and run a wire from directly from the speaker, and then to the ‘line in’ on your sound card. 2. Get one with a cd player, burn a cd that has very high pitched music. Like rap or techno. The pop of those snares will get you every time. 3. Drink 1 full glass of water before going to bed. By the time your alarm goes off, you don’t want to hit snooze and go back to bed because you have to pee, really bad. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/12 "2004-02-21T21:53:20Z")
> [@GreyWanderer](#): > > Get [this alarm clock](http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=605). Sadly, it appears to be out of stock. However, \*[this\*](http://www.dynamic-living.com/sonic_boom_clock.htm) one looks interesting, though some of it’s features are a bit, um, “disturbing.” (It’s got a vibrator! :eek: On the odd chance that I get “lucky”, it might be a bit awkard to explain.) ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/13 "2004-02-21T23:11:24Z")
[Here’s your answer](http://www.rube-goldberg.com/html/printosleep.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/14 "2004-02-21T23:23:11Z")
I posted this once in another thread, but here ya go, one loud, inexpensive alarm clock: Buy a digital appliance timer. You know, those little things with the clock and an outlet that will switch the outlet on or off at a time you set? Set it for 6 AM, or whenever. Then, plug your vacuum cleaner into it, with the off switch in an inconvenient location. I have yet to sleep through this one. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/15 "2004-02-21T23:24:40Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > [Here’s your answer](http://www.rube-goldberg.com/html/printosleep.htm) Except, of course, that I have to be up **before** sunrise. ---
**Author:** ![DeaganTheWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DeaganTheWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeaganTheWolf)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/16 "2004-02-22T00:43:19Z")
Take your stereo and run it into a guitar amp. Like a Crate 80 (what I have), then set the timer for the time you’d like to wake up. You can use the radio, a cd of alarm noises, whatever it takes. Turn the GAIN all the the way UP. If you don’t wake up you’ll be bounced out of bed from the vibrations. I can’t give you a decibel rating on this setup, but it’s damn loud enough to deafen me if i play on that amp too long. A crate 80 goes for about 50.00 nowadays at Sam Ash music. You’ll need a cord and a set or adapters probably but it’s WELL worth it for when you MUST get up. Nothing like a little swedish death metal in the morning to get you up and going. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/17 "2004-02-22T01:20:49Z")
I’m deaf, so a standard alarm clock has no prayer of waking me up, no matter how loud it is. I’ve used the [Shake Awake](http://www.harriscomm.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=451) alarm clock for years. It’s slightly smaller than your average male’s fist, and fits securely inside the pillow with a clip. A truly excellent alarm clock. My only gripe is that it currently does not have a low-battery indicator, so if you don’t change the batteries every once in a while, the clock simply won’t activate. To prevent this, I change the batteries about once every four or five months just to be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Extraneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/0ea827/32.png) [@Extraneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Extraneous)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/18 "2004-02-22T03:07:36Z")
Back in the day - I had a clock-radio that used a mechanical switch. I simply used the switch to turn on the stereo (in another room - about 50’ from the bed) the tune used was “In Da Gadda Da Vida”. Neighbors were not happy with me. Use an appliance timer to switch on your fav raucous sound tract. I now use a CD I created - it starts with soft music and progresses to hard - the thought of waking to the later tracks serves as a motivational force). Use a stereo, and leave the computer off. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/19 "2004-02-22T04:54:49Z")
The **loud** alarm clocks sold at truck stops are called Screaming Memes. My aunt has one. One night I was staying at her place, sleeping in the other end of the house. When that thing went off, it woke **me** up, but **she** stayed asleep until I got her up. I don’t know exactly how heavy a sleeper you are, but the Screaming Meme may not fill your purpose. I like the idea of the jigsaw puzzle alarm clock, and the Sonic Boom… well, I have great and wonderful ideas for any alarm clock that includes a vibrator. ---
**Author:** ![Quint\_Essence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/54ee81/32.png) [@Quint\_Essence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint_Essence)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394/20 "2004-02-22T05:16:42Z")
as far as using the pc goes, if the pc is close to your bed you dont need to hook anything to it. just set the task scheduler to play a song or even a wav file (like maybe a sound clip of a machine gun going off?) and you can set it as loud as you want (my computer feeds through a 5 channel 120watt per stereo) I can shake you awake with it… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-loud-ass-alarm-clock/230394.md?page=2)