# I need a new excuse...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 3, 2016, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937 "2016-09-03T21:21:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2016, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/21 "2016-09-05T15:24:14Z")
Three states away… very simple.
My ankle bracelet won’t let me go that far from home.
---
### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2016, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/22 "2016-09-05T15:38:50Z")
As for your friend with the cinder blocks? Just buy him a fitbit. Within a week he will be gleefully carrying them up the stairs one by one, checking his wrist every three steps or so.
He’ll probably carry them back down again too . . .
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2016, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/23 "2016-09-05T16:10:19Z")
“Ohmyghod! When I was a kid my puppy, Squirts, was killed when someone tossed a cinderblock to me and I missed. It hit him right in the head and, and…dude, I have to hang up now and call my therapist. Ohghod!”
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### Author:  [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/24 "2016-09-05T16:41:46Z")
I know this thread is approximately half in jest, but I don’t get why so many folks feel the obligation to provide a reason they are declining an invitation.
“I’m sorry, I can’t make it.”
This works for me, and I think it much better than inventing an excuse.
mmm
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### Author:  [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/25 "2016-09-06T01:29:49Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> “I’m sorry, I can’t make it.”
>
> This works for me, and I think it much better than inventing an excuse.
Unless you are like me and have a reputation for inventive excuses. If I told a friend “Sorry - can’t make it” they would probably be insulted. :smack:
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### Author:  [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/26 "2016-09-06T01:36:45Z")
Sorry I already promised someone else I’ll help them move cinder blocks that day.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/27 "2016-09-06T14:45:47Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> I know this thread is approximately half in jest, but I don’t get why so many folks feel the obligation to provide a reason they are declining an invitation.
>
> “I’m sorry, I can’t make it.”
>
> This works for me, and I think it much better than inventing an excuse.
> mmm
You find out who are your friends and who is just using you pretty quickly, for sure. Happened to us recently concerning some rather tedious pet sitting. We finally said that we weren’t going to be available for that any longer, and haven’t heard from them since.
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### Author:  [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/28 "2016-09-06T17:31:17Z")
Sorry, I can’t, that’s the day I wash the gimp.
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### Author:  [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/29 "2016-09-06T17:57:10Z")
Sorry, allergic to cinders. And blocks.
Also, I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations hasn’t yet expired in your state. You know how open arrest warrants can be.
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### Author:  [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/30 "2016-09-06T19:19:27Z")
I don’t have many rules in life, but this is one of them.
I don’t ask friends to come and move my cinder blocks, so I’m not coming to move your cinder blocks.
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### Author:  [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2016, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/31 "2016-09-06T22:14:45Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> I know this thread is approximately half in jest, but I don’t get why so many folks feel the obligation to provide a reason they are declining an invitation.
>
> “I’m sorry, I can’t make it.”
>
> This works for me, and I think it much better than inventing an excuse.
> mmm
That’s what I do. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” If pushed hard enough, the answer may change to “Because I don’t want to.” But only if you push me hard enough.
That’s the answer my cousin finally gets. She always wants me to go to this one restaurant when she comes to town. It’s way on the other side of town. It caters to tourists and loudmouths. The food is reputed to be very bad. The clientele wants to pretend they’re in Key West. No. I’ve been in this town for 35 years and I’ve never gone there.
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### Author:  [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/32 "2016-09-07T15:08:10Z")
> [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](#):
>
> Sorry, I can’t, that’s the day I wash the gimp.
It’s refreshing to see someone advocate proper gimp maintenance.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/33 "2016-09-07T15:14:14Z")
Sorry, it’s my turn to put the streets in place.
Sorry, it’s my turn to hang up the sun.
Sorry, gotta go help organize the next round of Middle East peace talks.
Sorry, I’ve got to see the Pope about redecorating the Sixtine Chapel.
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### Author:  [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/34 "2016-09-07T15:18:43Z")
Test match? Lords? Good god, man, you mean you didn’t _know_?
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/35 "2016-09-07T15:51:54Z")
> [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](#):
>
> Sorry, I can’t, that’s the day I wash the gimp.
Is it bath day already? 🙂
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/36 "2016-09-07T18:48:16Z")
“This nap isn’t going to take itself.”
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### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/37 "2016-09-07T21:16:55Z")
I go with the Deadpool excuse… “You know, I would, but… I don’t want to.”
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### Author:  [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2016, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/38 "2016-09-08T03:36:13Z")
> [@Jennshark](#):
>
> My work bestie and I were just talking about “excuses that no one will challenge you on, _ever_.” In our case, we were fantasizing about ways to get out of a monthly, extremely boring and unproductive meeting.
>
> Best one: “I’ve pooped my pants and have to go home.”
My favorite medical excuse is “gastric distress.” No boss will ever ask any follow-up questions about the details of your gastric distress or whether it is a real excuse.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2016, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/39 "2016-09-08T03:55:14Z")
> [@Billdo](#):
>
> My favorite medical excuse is “gastric distress.” No boss will ever ask any follow-up questions about the details of your gastric distress or whether it is a real excuse.
I think the “[Does anyone else smell burning hair?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=803986)” excuse trumps that.
(TL;DR OP had a stroke this morning :eek: )
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### Author:  [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-excuse/764937/40 "2016-09-08T18:28:17Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> (TL;DR OP had a stroke this morning :eek: )
Wow…that dedication to an excuse.
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