# I need a new fake name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2008, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838 "2008-01-17T06:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/21 "2008-01-17T17:57:46Z")
Snaphu Foobar. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/22 "2008-01-17T18:10:25Z")
One stolen from a “weird real names” thread some monts back: Imhotep Box ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/23 "2008-01-17T18:28:53Z")
Cleetus Van Damme. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/24 "2008-01-17T18:45:34Z")
If you’re a Simpsons fan- Steve Bennett, or Lois Sanborn. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/25 "2008-01-17T19:12:54Z")
Delictush Sexplosius? True story: I recently bought some Xbox accessories at Circuit city. I paid in cash. _Cash_, mind you. Yet, for some reason, the computerized cash register wanted my name and address. The name I gave was “Yelnik McWawa.” Address, 123 Any Street, Beverly Hills, CA, 90210. The register jockey got a kick out of that and actually entered it; I have a receipt all made out to “Yelnik McWawa”. Anyway, when I have to give a fake name, I give that one, or Garfield W. Falsename, or, if I’m feeling cruel and have time to spare, Throckmorton Grunthummer Wingergonger. When one of the police detectives calls my wife (she works with the police a lot), he usually gives the names “Bill Fold” or “Jim Shorts”. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/26 "2008-01-17T19:42:06Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] If you’re a Simpsons fan- Steve Bennett, or Lois Sanborn. [/QUOTE] Or Max Power. I’m guessing Hercules Rockefeller, Handsome B. Wonderful and Rembrandt Q. Einstein are not up to **ForumBot** ’s standards. Combining some of my favorite weird college football names, how about Jimtavis Thorpe, Uranius Bilbo or Taz Durham? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/27 "2008-01-17T19:51:46Z")
**Iseph Flame**? I still like Schlock Mercenary’s **Polysyllabic Designation**. But that works better for a boat. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/28 "2008-01-17T20:05:30Z")
“Hi, I’m Aloysius P. Hammerhandle, but you can call me Al!” 😛 Ignatz Bloof? C. Rusty Minge? Murphy Messerschmidt? Narsty McNaugahyde? Thaddeus C. Fiddlethwapper, III? Dink Dinkerson? ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/29 "2008-01-17T20:07:31Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] If you’re a Simpsons fan- Steve Bennett, or Lois Sanborn. [/QUOTE] Steve Bennett a real person’s name. In like, I know him in real life. BTW, I think it was Laura Sandborn. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/30 "2008-01-17T20:10:21Z")
[QUOTE=Madd Maxx] BTW, I think it was Laura Sandborn. [/QUOTE] 'Twas Lois. How about Slamford Rockton? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/31 "2008-01-17T20:29:32Z")
Rusty Shackelford ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/32 "2008-01-17T20:49:28Z")
Dylan Garlic Brick Mason Al Gettout Hassan bin Sogood Norm DePlume Oliver Dreams Sheldon DeVeynd Thurston Unger Thurston Lust Hyman Slipcover Tyrone Flies Dooter Romney Otto Craddick Indy Fatigable Austin Tayschious ETA: Spalding’s my name. You’ve played with my balls before. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/33 "2008-01-17T21:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=Septima] One stolen from a “weird real names” thread some monts back: Imhotep Box [/QUOTE] Hey, I posted that name! He was a kid in a paternity/child support case when I was a prosecutor. Glad it made an impression on you. George Costanza gave us Art VanDelay, of course, or Buck Naked. Plenty of good names out of Python: Ken Shabby, Jethro Q. Walrustitty, Tarquin Biscuitbarrel, Colin Mozart, Dinsdale Piranha, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/34 "2008-01-17T21:12:25Z")
[QUOTE=Barrington] My first pet was a cat called Cleo. I’m a man. It just wouldn’t work. [/QUOTE] Mine was a Great Dane named Kublai Khan. Woof! As to the first street I lived on … it was a private road named after my great-grandfather, so it’s the same as my actual last name. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/35 "2008-01-17T21:19:15Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] “Hi, I’m Aloysius P. Hammerhandle, but you can call me Al!” 😛 [/QUOTE] Gold, Jerry. Gold! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/36 "2008-01-17T21:30:56Z")
**Polyester Poontang Gareth Gobulcoque Vagina Doom** …I’ve got nuttin’. ---
**Author:** ![Ro\_Carter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7feea3/32.png) [@Ro\_Carter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ro_Carter)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/37 "2008-01-17T21:41:35Z")
I suggest Short Glasscock. It was the finalist in a “weirdest name on your family tree” competition in an old history class of mine. Or maybe Butte Ryder. (Note: “Butte” to be pronounced like the city in Montana, unless you intend to make lots of dirty jokes. Which actually might be a benefit of that name, now that I think of it) ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/38 "2008-01-17T21:46:18Z")
Duncan Idaho always struck me as pretty good. How about Yoyo Wyoming? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/39 "2008-01-17T21:47:12Z")
[QUOTE=Ro Carter] I suggest Short Glasscock. [/QUOTE] That reminds me of [this QI moment](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXuA3qGXl7c)… ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/40 "2008-01-17T22:00:59Z")
Rock Casanova the third. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838.md?page=3)