# I need a new fake name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2008, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838 "2008-01-17T06:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Qwertyasdfg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ecc23a/32.png) [@Qwertyasdfg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertyasdfg)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/41 "2008-01-17T22:03:47Z")
Xavier Midnight Honeysuckle Beesly ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/42 "2008-01-17T22:26:45Z")
Now all these great names from the Sifl & Olly show are coming back to me. Let’s see, there’s: Aesop Jones Jargon Scott Chachi Longbow Delixir Sorbaño Dr. Vernon Merble Rex Morgan, Night Golfer Professor Armsholder Shoozenshorts ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/43 "2008-01-17T22:32:10Z")
[QUOTE=Sprockets] Do the porn name thing. Your first name is the name of your first pet. Your surname is the name of the first street you lived on. [/QUOTE] I don’t think I’m going to have much of a porn career as ‘Arf Bogue’. That said, it’s yours if you wish it. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/44 "2008-01-17T22:41:34Z")
At our last house we lived near the corner of Regis St. and Bucktrout Ave., one day while driving past the sign I realized that **Regis Bucktrout** might be the greatest pseudonym ever. Since I have never needed to use it, I bequeath it unto you. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/45 "2008-01-17T23:02:11Z")
T. Bone ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/46 "2008-01-17T23:15:48Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Tarquin Biscuitbarrel [/QUOTE] That’s Tarquin Fin Tin Lin Bin Wim Bim Lim Bus Stop F’tang F’Tang Olé Biscuitbarrel to you, sonny. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/47 "2008-01-17T23:17:44Z")
My personal false name that I use all the time in video games and such is Hondo Botswana. That’s what I’d change my username to if I hadn’t used up my one shot already. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/48 "2008-01-17T23:33:46Z")
[QUOTE=Attack from the 3rd dimension] I don’t think I’m going to have much of a porn career as ‘Arf Bogue’. [/QUOTE] Please tell me Arf was a cat. > [@jjimm](#): > > That’s Tarquin Fin Tin Lin Bin Wim Bim Lim Bus Stop F’tang F’Tang Olé Biscuitbarrel to you, sonny. Please tell me you did that from memory. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/49 "2008-01-17T23:38:51Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Please tell me you did that from memory. [/QUOTE] But of course! My porn name would be Fluffy Silverdale, but a friend of mine is Pussy Buddibent. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/50 "2008-01-17T23:40:30Z")
[QUOTE=Mooch] What about Snake Cash? [/QUOTE] I like it. Made me think of Snake Plisskin. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/51 "2008-01-18T02:21:58Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] My porn name would be Fluffy Silverdale, but a friend of mine is Pussy Buddibent. [/QUOTE] Scrappy Manchester at your service here. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/52 "2008-01-18T02:40:43Z")
[QUOTE=Barrington] My first pet was a cat called Cleo. I’m a man. It just wouldn’t work. [/QUOTE] Mine would be Sunshine Pleasant. Looks like I will have to do gay porn. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Real\_Thing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@The\_Real\_Thing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Real_Thing)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/53 "2008-01-18T02:55:22Z")
Hell Cat Parr. w00t. I respectfully submit the following: Slab Bulkhead Fridge Largemeat Punt Speedchunk Butch Deadlift Bold Bigflank Splint Chesthair Flint Ironstag Bolt Vanderhuge Thick McRunfast Blast Hardcheese Buff Drinklots Trunk Slamchest Fist Rockbone Stump Beefgnaw Smash Lampjaw Punch Rockgroin Buck Plankchest Stump Chunkman Dirk Hardpeck Rip Steakface Slate Slabrock Crud Bonemeal Brick Hardmeat Rip Sidecheek Punch Sideiron Gristle McThornBody Slake Fistcrunch Buff Hardback Bob Johnson Blast Thickneck Crunch Buttsteak Slab Squatthrust Lump Beefrock Touch Rustrod Reef Blastbody Big McLargeHuge Smoke Manmuscle Beat Punchbeef Pack Blowfist Roll Fizzlebeef ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/54 "2008-01-18T02:59:54Z")
Lakshmere Bo-Kent Jerry Don Gleato Brock Redtit Crap Nelson ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/55 "2008-01-18T03:14:52Z")
Shimly Poopeck (pronounced Shimmel-ly Poo Peck) great when a secretary asks who’s calling. Fanzio Berrachetti Throckmorton P. Guldilerfink Hen3ry (the 3 is silent)(which Tom Lehrer song is that from?) Please let us know your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/56 "2008-01-18T03:18:01Z")
I think my ‘porn name’ would work out to “Fuzz-Buzz Route 286.” Which is… not sexy. Additionally, if the pet name carries any weight in that equation, I think I’d be limited to incontinence porn. And no thank you, I don’t need any links seeking to prove what a potentially lucrative subgenre that is. I’m frankly dubious that it’s even possible to outclass the name “Nighttrain Calhoun.” Let’s face it: no matter how tough or competent you are, sooner or later you’re going to find yourself at a point in your life so low that your only option is to seek out the advice of Nighttrain Calhoun. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/57 "2008-01-18T03:55:42Z")
Right off the top of my head, the very first thing that came to mind: **Scotty McGinkel** ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/58 "2008-01-18T04:52:19Z")
When asked for a name for no good reason by websites, I typically give Poop Doodoo. Ms. Doodoo is female, and was born January 1, 1900. I once had a subscription to _Macworld_ in the name of Utter Poppycock. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/59 "2008-01-18T05:38:29Z")
W. C. Fields liked \*\*Charles Bogle \*\* because “It has a hint of incompetence to it.” I like A. Fortiori Barbara Seville Sarcophagus MacAbre Oofy Prosser ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838/60 "2008-01-18T06:17:48Z")
> [@Attack from the 3rd dimension](#): > > I don’t think I’m going to have much of a porn career as ‘Arf Bogue’. Nor me as Charlie Sunflower. Actually, now that I think about it… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-new-fake-name/433838.md?page=4)