# I need a pit of horrible creatures to feed people to...what species should I use? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 25, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380 "2010-02-25T13:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/41 "2010-02-25T22:36:37Z")
How about plain old blowfly maggots? - again, I think if the political dissident is immersed in them to his or her neck, they’re not going to wait to start munching, especially if they can find a handy orifice to get in through. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/42 "2010-02-25T22:40:47Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > You’re right… I apologise for spitting in your cornflakes. Facts be damned. Yes! Komodo dragons! I’ve seen these viscious, bloodthirsty brutes up close and personal and by God, they’d do the job perfectly! You’d see razor sharp teeth and claws ripping into flesh and sinew with astounding savagery, eviscerating the raw, bloodied flesh with the practised ease of a natural born killer, tearing muscle and skin from the clean-pick’d bone with truly horrific speed and sickening thoroughness. They are very much the Terminators of the animal kingdom - vile, disgusting killing machines that knows nothing of restraint or compassion. No problem - give them a small pit area to call their own, toss people in and watch the fun. And dragons are known for leaving the skeleton almost perfectly intact. An ideal choice. Cool. Have they released a winged edition yet? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/43 "2010-02-26T01:53:01Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > How about plain old blowfly maggots? - again, I think if the political dissident is immersed in them to his or her neck, they’re not going to wait to start munching, especially if they can find a handy orifice to get in through. That depends; some kinds simply refuse to eat live tissue, and are actually used in “[maggot therapy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowfly#Maggot_therapy)” specifically because they’ll eat only the dead flesh from a wound. It would be a shame for your Pit of Maggoty Doom to have therapeutic uses, all because you chose the wrong maggot species. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/44 "2010-02-26T14:05:42Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That depends; some kinds simply refuse to eat live tissue, and are actually used in “[maggot therapy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowfly#Maggot_therapy)” specifically because they’ll eat only the dead flesh from a wound. It would be a shame for your Pit of Maggoty Doom to have therapeutic uses, all because you chose the wrong maggot species. That’s why I suggested screwworms. Blowflies’ nastier cousins, who are perfectly happy munching their own way into live things. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/45 "2010-02-26T16:58:57Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Cool. Have they released a winged edition yet? Of course. Commoner on the eastern coast of the island, as I recall, where the trees are a bit taller. Not magnificent flyers, to be fair, but fond of gliding among higher thermal currents wearing a rather lofty air of effortless superiority. They are known to be capable of predatory sorties from the air, although the flapping of their gigantic, leathery wings tends to alert prey. For this reason they generally prefer to hunt on the ground as it involves more cunning sneakiness. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/46 "2010-02-26T17:04:55Z")
I can’t believe no one has suggested “sharks with freakin’ lasers” yet. Or at least mutated sea bass. But in reality, I’d go for some sort of nasty breed of ants. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/47 "2010-02-26T17:50:48Z")
If you want the skeletons more or less intact, and have a pretty limited budget, it’s hard to go wrong with good old _Rattus norvegicus_. Being eaten alive by a swarm of thousands of rats is pretty gruesome. And you don’t have to deal with specialized breeding as you would for some of these exotic insects. Rats will thrive in any old pit, as long as you toss them enough food. ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/48 "2010-02-26T20:20:51Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I’m embarking on a political career in the near future, so I need some zoological advice for my palace architect. Namely, what kind of human-devouring animals should I stock the trapdoor pits with? [mentalnote] _Vote for Ranchoth in any upcoming elections. Don’t go near any trapdoors…_[/mentalnote] ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2010, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/49 "2010-02-27T12:46:56Z")
Insects may be efficient but they are so lacking in drama. Death pit construction is a specialized field and completely unionized, no illegals. If someone is willing to go to this expense then I’m guessing that they’ll want to view the spectacle once in a while, or at least listen for anguished screams. You need big carnivores for excitement. Tigers. Grizzly bears. I’m partial to wolves myself, the struggle lasts a bit longer. Toss a few carrion birds in the pit as well. They’ll do cleanup and won’t bother the executioner. In addition, insects are good climbers, can squeeze through narrow gaps and can conceal themselves in the hired helps clothing when they retrieve the bones. You just know that some will find their way out of the pit and into your sleeping quarters. A slave with a grudge could sneak a few screw worms under the sheets without you noticing, but most would recognize if there was a cougar under the comforter. As for the million gallon salt-water tank, be creative! There’s no reason why you can’t construct your evil liar with a nice ocean view and a chute leading a large shark cage constructed at cliffside. Naturally, the sharks would be _inside_ this particular enclosure. All in all, I’m against the idea of the animal pit. Auxiliary feedings, cleanup, veterinary bills, it’s too much bother. I prefer the simple Goldfinger device. A flat table with restraints and a top mounted laser. ---
**Author:** ![santiago42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@santiago42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/santiago42)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/50 "2010-02-27T21:55:17Z")
If you’re worried about your victims brushing off or smacking insects, just slide an ice pick through one of your victims vertebrae, just high enough up the spinal column to turn him (or her) into a quadriplegic before tossing him into the pit. Or, if feeling truly sadistic, place your victim upright in the pit so they can watch their bodies being consumed. Hours of fun for the whole family. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/51 "2010-02-27T23:33:17Z")
If I were the intended victim, nothing would revolt me more than a moat filled with maggots. Just the thought of it almost kills me. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/52 "2010-02-28T04:27:33Z")
[Dopers!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=5) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/53 "2010-02-28T08:55:17Z")
[Chihuanhas](http://io9.com/5474249/chihuanha-can-only-be-defeated-with-cheese-products/gallery/) ---
**Author:** ![Jeu\_D\_Esprit\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@Jeu\_D\_Esprit\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeu_D_Esprit_1)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/54 "2010-02-28T12:41:11Z")
How is your palace powered? If it generates its own power, I suggest this [steam powered column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2665/can-high-pressure-steam-cut-a-body-in-half) as a useful suggestion. If you drop the victim through some super heated jets, triggered when the trap door is open, you could strip off clothing and incapacitate or kill the victim. The pressure would be a little tricky to avoid shearing off body parts, but the reward would be great. You could have someone stripped, incapacitated and in excruciating pain on their way to dying while your choice of carrion eating insects or small animals start stripping the roasted flesh. Great fun for kiddie parties and special video moments. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/55 "2010-02-28T21:59:57Z")
Well, if your pit could be some type of salt water mote, I’ll go with a school of [bluefish](http://www.aquariacentral.com/fishinfo/marine/bluefish.shtml).They generally don’t abide by Emily Post’s accepted rules of table etiquette, while feeding. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/56 "2010-03-01T09:43:54Z")
On further reflection, I believe if the goal is to skeletonize a man as quickly, horribly and non-destructively as possible, we’re going to have to throw out some of the OP’s constraining conditions and go with a circus-type Three Ring Show… 1: Draw Blood in the Bengal Tiger Pit (the _pit of despair_): The tiger is obviously too big and indelicate a predator to strip meat from bone with any sort of precise detail work. However, with proper depth control, his claws make very good “scalpels”, able to quickly and flashily incise skin down through the subcutaneous layer—deep enough to get the blood flowing, but not disturb the skeleton. So you put a particularly ornery tiger in a cage, with the hapless victim room on the other side of the bars. Of course you’ve done precise measurements of the hapless victim’s maximum depth at the chest and the tiger’s maximum reach from between bars to claw-tip, then adjusted the distance from bars to back wall in such a manner as to assure claw incision depth that is not too shallow; not too deep…but just right. You drop your hapless victim into the pit while the tiger is sleeping, then pull his tail—hard. As soon as the agitated feline opens his eyes, you point to the hapless victim and shrug—he’ll be bleeding profusely in no time (and, as we know, bleeding meat makes good chum). Then a trap door drops our disheartened hapless victim into the _moat of misery_… 2: Skeletonization in the Bluefish Moat: I haven’t found any reliable reports of either piranha or bluefish skeletonizing a live person, but given the significantly greater maximum size (~39-inches vs. 10-inches), I’ll put my money on the Chopper blues—a shoal of which, in a feeding frenzy, should be more than up to the task of removing meat from bone quickly and efficiently. But, the hapless victim’s length of immersion may need to be timed with care. I’m guessing that after the muscle, fascia and viscera are ingested, our voracious ichthyo-friends may continue on to nibbling at the cartilage, and a disarticulated skeleton is not in line with the OP’s request for an “intact” skeleton. So we meat-hook our considerably lighter hapless victim out of the moat at just the right time—non-disarticulated skeleton, mostly bone, but some bits and pieces of soft tissue hanging here and there or encased within the cranium—then drop him into the _bowl of woe_… 1. Detail Work in the Dermestid Beetle Bowl: _…because, when you want a nice forensically clean skeleton after the grisly wet work on a hapless victim is done, you always recruit your team of Dermestid Beetle larvae to do the job right._ ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/57 "2010-03-02T17:49:47Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > [Hagfish](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagfish). > > I don’t know about _rapid_ skeletonization but they’ll get the job done - even on whales - given enough time. In the meantime, they’re burrowing under your skin to get at the best parts, all while producing gallons of slimy mucus. (Yes, gallons. If you’ve ever held a hagfish, you know that they can produce orders of magnitude more mucus than you could possibly imagine.) Having worked the slime line aboard a seagoing commercial fish factory, I can personally attest to the workings of hagfish. Every few hours some poor soul would gut a fish to find nothing but skeleton, skin, and slime eels aka. hagfish. The whole line would pause while one or more of us would pound the mucus out of the sickening parasite, and pray it didn’t get it’s ugly head near us.:eek: They can, and do, devour fish that are easily the weight of a man in short order, and have the ability to enter through orafices as well as bore clean through tough skin and scales. > **[Answers - The Most Trusted Place for Answering Life's Questions](https://www.answers.com/redirectSearch?query=hagfish)** > > Answers is the place to go to get the answers you need and to ask the questions you want ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380/58 "2010-03-03T00:23:46Z")
As a Pit of Doom design consultant, I’d counsel my esteemed client to chuck out the staid playbook of outdated PoD protocols and think outside the box. With only a modest augmentation of his already capital-criminal designs, he could enjoy the freedom that a virtually no-holds-bound exploitation of the animal kingdom can offer… Namely, by adding a prison cell to his abbattoir to accomodate the permanent presence of an anatomist – the original profession doesn’t much matter; any reasonably intelligent person will do, provided you supply him with an anatomy chart or two – and let your creative juices flow! Your desperate skeleton-reassembling slave will be responsible for retrieving the likely scattered and partially mauled bones, cleaning them, restoring their structural integrity, and ordering them in fully-jointed and wired assemblies. My altogether reasonable fee is $5,600 per da… [aaaiieeeee!!!] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-pit-of-horrible-creatures-to-feed-people-to-what-species-should-i-use/530380.md?page=2)