# I need a snappy comeback **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075 "2009-05-11T19:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/1 "2009-05-11T19:29:11Z")
I am an animal lover and never harm them,even bugs. Living where I do, hunting comes up in conversation a lot.My standard reply when hunting or fishing comes up in conversation is “I don’t hurt animals”, the reply is often “You eat meat don’t you?” I do eat meat,but never things killed in the wild. What should I say? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/2 "2009-05-11T19:36:32Z")
I’d just say “I don’t hunt” or “I don’t fish” instead of “I don’t hurt animals”. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/3 "2009-05-11T19:38:07Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > **I need a snappy comeback…** Oh no you don’t! (bada boom!) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/4 "2009-05-11T19:39:45Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > I am an animal lover and never harm them,even bugs. > > Living where I do, hunting comes up in conversation a lot.My standard reply when hunting or fishing comes up in conversation is “I don’t hurt animals”, the reply is often “You eat meat don’t you?” > > I do eat meat,but never things killed in the wild. What should I say? What you _shouldn_’t say is “I don’t hurt animals,” because clearly you do. It makes you sound both holier-than-thou and hypocritical. Sorry to be so blunt. I don’t understand why killing them in the wild is harmful to them, while slaughtering domestic animals is not. Can you elaborate? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/5 "2009-05-11T19:42:55Z")
“I don’t hurt animals?” What an rude, condescending, obnoxious, and holier-than-thou thing to say! You don’t need a snappy comeback. You need to learn some manners. p.s. You hurt animals. Deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/6 "2009-05-11T19:48:06Z")
This thread isn’t going to end well, with this bunch. **MadTheSwine** , get ready to have every word of your post dissected. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/7 "2009-05-11T19:52:15Z")
> [@DudleyGarrett](#): > > This thread isn’t going to end well, with this bunch. > > **MadTheSwine** , get ready to have every word of your post dissected. Well, to be fair, there aren’t that many of them. And the first sentence is a flat out lie, excluding a non-standard and very flexible meaning for “harm.” ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/8 "2009-05-11T19:52:25Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > Living where I do, hunting comes up in conversation a lot.My standard reply when hunting or fishing comes up in conversation is “I don’t hurt animals”, the reply is often “You eat meat don’t you?” “Don’t make me hire someone to take YOU out too…” “Yeah, but I only eat consenting sadomasochistic animals. It’s win-win really.” “You think a King has to grow his own crops? No. That’s what we have peons such as yourself for. Go and kindly defenestrate yourself now, you tire me.” or the easiest (and best) reply: “No.” And then just stare at them until they feel awkward and leave. It’s best to do this one if you are CURRENTLY eating a sandwich with meat in it. Just take a bite out of it and keep staring. And then if they call you out on it, just say “No it’s not.” And keep staring, as hostile as you can possibly pull off. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/9 "2009-05-11T19:57:29Z")
Perhaps some perspective might help. Think about _why_ someone is talking to you about hunting and fishing in the first place. Chances are pretty good that they are trying to connect with you in some human way by sharing something that they find enjoyable and attempting to find some common ground. I suppose really that we are all of us more isolated than is good for us and so whenever one person reaches out to another it is a good idea to nurture that, not try to come up with some snappy comment. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/10 "2009-05-11T20:00:48Z")
“I don’t hunt, but if you could give me some deer sausage/fish filets, that’d be great!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/11 "2009-05-11T20:04:25Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > What you _shouldn_’t say is “I don’t hurt animals,” because clearly you do. It makes you sound both holier-than-thou and hypocritical. Sorry to be so blunt. I am painfully aware of the hypocrisy involved,which is why I asked the question. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/12 "2009-05-11T20:06:13Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > “I don’t hunt, but if you could give me some deer sausage/fish filets, that’d be great!” 😃 Don’t eat fish, don’t eat venison. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/13 "2009-05-11T20:07:55Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > I am painfully aware of the hypocrisy involved,which is why I asked the question. Why do you say it at all? What point are you trying to get across? Do you want a snappy comeback that says the same thing but somehow hides the hypocrisy? That might be a tough one. Are you opposed to hunting for some other reason? ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/14 "2009-05-11T20:08:39Z")
I guess I expected this response,but if ya’ll wanna continue the pile-on there are forums for it.I would like serious answers to my question if anyone has one. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/15 "2009-05-11T20:10:33Z")
I live in the country. I eat meat. I loathe PETA (people who chose truly vegan lifestyles don’t bother me, people who try to tell others how to live piss me the fuck off). I have hunted and have allowed my son to begin learning to hunt (with his grandfather, a very experienced hunter). My recommendation would be to simply answer with, “I don’t hunt. I like meat, I enjoy eating it, killing it myself, not so much.” I would respect that. “I don’t hurt animals” would make me want to punch you in the face, especially if I knew that you do eat meat. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/16 "2009-05-11T20:11:04Z")
Instead of saying that you don’t hurt animals, why not say that you simply don’t care to hunt or fish? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/17 "2009-05-11T20:13:10Z")
While I agree with other respondents you should re-consider the conversation you 're having, the (probably insufficiently-snappy) response you’re looking for is “I prefer meat that has been humanly killed”, leaving them to defend hunting as a humane method of slaughter. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/18 "2009-05-11T20:13:47Z")
How about “That’s for sustenance, not for pleasure”? Makes the point that yes, you eat meat, but you’d rather not put yourself elsewhere in the food cycle. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/19 "2009-05-11T20:14:40Z")
I’d go in some direction of raising and killing animals as a job or industry is one thing (a necessary although gross job), but for someone to do it for sport or entertainment kind of squicks you out. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075/20 "2009-05-11T20:16:18Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > I guess I expected this response,but if ya’ll wanna continue the pile-on there are forums for it.I would like serious answers to my question if anyone has one. If you are referring to me, that wasn’t a pile-on. I’m genuinely confused. What point is your snappy comeback trying to get across? That hunting is bad? You admit that “I don’t hurt animals” is hypocritical. Your only argument seems to be that killing animals in the wild is somehow worse than slaughtering domestic animals. Your snappy comeback is going to have to support that somehow. Figure out why this idea is true, and you will be on your way to fashioning that comeback. As I said above, I think it’s going to be a tough row to hoe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-snappy-comeback/496075.md?page=2)