# I need a sure-fire waker-upper! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2014, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965 "2014-03-31T04:57:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/21 "2014-04-01T01:45:54Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > My “ulterior motive” has nothing to do with sex. While I’ve heard tell of such circumstance, this is my first direct exposure. I do say! ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/22 "2014-04-01T01:46:27Z")
Tell Natalie to get her ass put of bed and get her kids ready for school. When she doesn’t report her to CPS. Lather, rinse, repeat. If it were me, I’d report this whole situation. Isn’t this the same family that crazy uncle locked everyone in behind a deadbolt? Report, step away. Far away. ---
**Author:** ![deregulated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@deregulated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deregulated)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/23 "2014-04-01T01:57:38Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Sounds to me like Natalie needs to act like an adult and wake her own self up so so she can get her kids off to school. > Seriously, this is a basic fundamental to being an adult. Even more so if you’re a parent. Jeesh. Agreed. If nothing else give someone the key, sounds like she is hiding something or afraid. Get her to therapy. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/24 "2014-04-01T01:57:43Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > My “ulterior motive” has nothing to do with sex. To be perfectly clear; this isn’t a Bill Clinton sex-exemption type loophole, right? A claim that because it’s a three way it doesn’t really count?😕 ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/25 "2014-04-01T02:33:17Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Go passive. Tell Natalie you’ll be there at X oclock to pick up her kids to take them to school. Be there at X oclock. Leave at X+5 minutes oclock, with or without your young passengers. Sooner or later, she’ll get with the program. One way or another. I agree with this. When she starts getting truancy phone calls from the kids’ schools, I’m betting she will get her ass up. Or, break the lock on the door. Who locks their bedroom door when they have little kids in the house, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/26 "2014-04-01T06:40:24Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > To be perfectly clear; this isn’t a Bill Clinton sex-exemption type loophole, right? A claim that because it’s a three way it doesn’t really count?😕 Are you calling me a liar? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/27 "2014-04-01T06:45:31Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I agree with this. When she starts getting truancy phone calls from the kids’ schools, I’m betting she will get her ass up. > > Or, break the lock on the door. Who locks their bedroom door when they have little kids in the house, anyway? I like the first suggestion, but the second is out of the question–unthinkable. Despite invitations to go into the house unaccompanied, in happier circumstances, I will not do so–I had a long history of getting in trouble as a child (police, etc.) for entering other people’s houses without permission. I promised myself then I would never do it again and I have kept that promise all these years. And breaking a lock is a violation of Section 459 of the California State Penal Code; I could wind up in San Quentin. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/28 "2014-04-01T11:38:01Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Are you calling me a liar? :mad: I wouldn’t do that; are you saying the same about Mr Clinton?:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/29 "2014-04-01T11:48:29Z")
Natalie just needs to get a really loud alarm clock and place it away from the bed - so the only way to turn it off is to get up and move. And some self-discipline. If she gets up, turns it off then goes back to bed, there might be no helping her. ---
**Author:** ![oz0ne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc348/32.png) [@oz0ne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oz0ne)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/30 "2014-04-01T12:05:17Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I agree! **She’s 28, and her daughters are 5 and 3…her uncle tells me she continues to go out partying** (I’ve seen her dressed to the nines) and he claims she gets home real late…:rolleyes: > [@dougie\_monty](#): > > **Natalie doesn’t worik–she gets public assistance.** (Sher did tell me, though, that once she got her car–and she has one now–she internded to go to the local community college and continmue her educastion as a medicasl assistant.) > > \ Bolding mine. While I know this isn’t the topic of the thread, I couldn’t help but notice what I’ve bolded. My mind is having difficulty reconciling these things. I know people do this, but shit. I believe I’d try and help her get her priorities in order, if you’re not already doing that. As far as the topic of the conversation goes, I got nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/31 "2014-04-01T16:45:32Z")
Chicken coop attached to your window with a rooster trapped inside. My neighbors two doors down have a damned rooster. Fortunately the double paned windows help a lot. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/32 "2014-04-01T17:49:01Z")
I think Post #4 is funnier. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/33 "2014-04-01T18:09:02Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I wouldn’t do that; are you saying the same about Mr. Clinton?:mad: I’m not bringing Clinton _or_ sex into this discussion. Neither one is germane here. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/34 "2014-04-01T18:18:40Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I’m not bringing Clinton _or_ sex into this discussion. Neither one is germane here. Very well. You were the one who mentioned ulterior motives. ([Cite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17243991&postcount=10)) I assumed ulterior motives = sex. Sorry. And I certainly _never_ suggested you were German!! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/35 "2014-04-01T18:30:22Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Go passive. Tell Natalie you’ll be there at X oclock to pick up her kids to take them to school. Be there at X oclock. Leave at X+5 minutes oclock, with or without your young passengers. Sooner or later, she’ll get with the program. One way or another. And again. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/36 "2014-04-01T19:27:45Z")
Bass drum with a kick pedal flush up against the wall: \*\*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM \*\* When she opens to door douse her with a bucket of cold water like the coach of a football team. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/37 "2014-04-01T19:32:08Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > Bass drum with a kick pedal flush up against the wall: > > \*\*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM \*\* > > When she opens to door douse her with a bucket of cold water like the coach of a football team. But I might miss and splash her little girls… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/38 "2014-04-01T19:33:09Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > But I might miss and splash her little girls… :eek: Next time she’ll wear a robe! ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/39 "2014-04-02T02:26:22Z")
Natalie and her dysfunctions are not your problem. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965/40 "2014-04-02T05:53:37Z")
They are if I have to sit for ten minutes or more in my car waiting for her to bring the girls out for me to take them to school–so they won’t be late. Keep your everyone-for-himself policy to yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-a-sure-fire-waker-upper/684965.md?page=3)