# I need an excuse - QUICK! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715 "2003-07-11T14:24:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/21 "2003-07-11T18:01:09Z")
take your punishment —and enjoy it!! Sit at the show, and think how lucky you are to be “worrying” over a silly play.Next year this time, think of the things you’ll have to worry about! think: “boyfriend” “driver’s ed” “Car” “what if…” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/22 "2003-07-11T18:02:24Z")
take your punishment —and enjoy it!! Sit at the show, and think how lucky you are to be “worrying” over a silly play.Next year this time, think of the things you’ll have to worry about! think: “boyfriend” “driver’s ed” “Car” “what if…” In the meantime, enjoy being a great dad!! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/23 "2003-07-11T20:43:15Z")
I see now that it’s long after the event in question … so how did it go? Did you claw out your own eyeballs? No? Well, I guess it wasn’t so bad after all … 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/24 "2003-07-11T20:50:14Z")
I’ll bet he was so moved by the play, and proud of his daughter, that he took her and a bunch of her friends out to dinner. Maybe even a movie and miniature golfing. See? Wasn’t it worth it? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/25 "2003-07-12T03:34:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AngelicGemma \* > \*\*Hire someone who looks simialr to you to go watch it for you. Make them wear a hat so noone will notice. A very LARGE hat. \*\* Perhaps a floor-length hat. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/26 "2003-07-12T03:41:42Z")
I want to hear how it went! Having sat through more than my fair share of such plays, along with all kinds of other events (6th grade band concert comes to mind – sister **whiterabbit** and I about choked to death not laughing out loud at the truly appalling awfulness of the so-called music being masscred on the stage by Young Tiger’s band), I can safely say that the amusement factor is priceless. Plus the blackmail factor. Take lots of pictures. To show her future boyfriends. That way, if she turns out to be a big Hollywood star, you can claim prescience. Otherwise, it’ll be good for lots of humiliation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/27 "2003-07-12T03:57:26Z")
Go, and videotape it. You might win $10,000! ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/28 "2003-07-12T04:01:28Z")
So, how did the play go, or how many fingers you got left? ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/29 "2003-07-13T02:23:29Z")
I always fall asleep during theatrical productions Leechboy is part of. Mind you I’ve usually had to sit through the rehersals and all the gumpf before hand so I’m all tuckered out by opening night. My arguement is that my mere presence should be enough. Don’t keep us in suspense tell us did you go? Was it good? ---
**Author:** ![DdDHellspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DdDHellspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DdDHellspawn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/30 "2003-07-13T03:19:59Z")
So how did it go???/ ---
**Author:** ![dave316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@dave316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dave316)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/31 "2003-07-13T03:23:18Z")
find a dog, bring it to the play. they won’t let you in because of the dog. Tell daughter that you found a stray dog in the middle of the highway on the way to the play and you didn’t want it to get hit and they wouldn’t let you in because of the dog and its to hot to leave in the car so you can’t watch her play you got to find the stray dog its home ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/32 "2003-07-13T03:26:23Z")
I think he is being held hostage by the Giggle Brigade. Ha! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/33 "2003-07-13T03:41:19Z")
Maybe he’s just staying in that coma… ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/34 "2003-07-13T07:07:57Z")
Or it’s a helluva wait in Accident and Emergency to get those severed fingers seen to. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/35 "2003-07-13T07:16:50Z")
Your excuse: Honey, Daddy’s at the emergency room. Why? Oh, it seems that the crack whore I normally get blowjobs from is in withdrawal, so while she was giving Daddy the highest quality hummer a man can get for his five dollars, she had a seizure and bit off Daddy’s wee wee. Oh? Mommy wants to talk to me? Put her on… ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/36 "2003-07-13T13:26:03Z")
Now that I have kids, I realize now what my parents went through when I was in school plays in such. But you know what? You’re not doing it for you, you’re doing it for her. I do hope after the play you went up and asked for her autograph in front of her friends. A little embarrasment for the teenager is good for the soul. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/37 "2003-07-14T14:22:45Z")
Update: The show was horrible. No, really. The camp was in several groups with age ranges from 7-18. Not all in one group. They were sorted by age. We were first "entertained by the 7-9 year olds. Whoa nelly. There are few things more annoying than a bunch of brats forgettting thier lines and fighting over the one script that they were allowed to have on stage. One kid was so terrified that he didn’t say anything, didn’t move, just stood there shaking and looking like he was about to puke. And Lo, there did come the 10-13 year olds, and they were mediocre, but not horrible. Except for the one girl who kept picking her nose. The the 14+ kids come on stage. My duaghter, who I love completely, was so nervous that sehrecitedherlinesmuchlikethissentenceinavoicesolowthatshecouldbarelybeheard. But I was a good dad. I told her she was great. Then I took her out for Thai food and ice cream afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/38 "2003-07-14T14:39:36Z")
Good daddy. Take one gold star. Nah, two, you took her to dinner after. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/39 "2003-07-14T14:44:23Z")
I’m so disappointed. No lost digits. I was SOOOO hanging out for some chopped fingers mate. You’ve shortchanged us. Piker. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715/40 "2003-07-14T16:01:17Z")
I had a really great excuse for you. But I was away from the computer when your call went out. I blame myself. Actually I blame the plumber that never showed up. But it was a great excuse. Would have gotten you out of the play PLUS got you major sympathy points. But since you don’t need it now, I won’t bore you with the details. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-an-excuse-quick/187715.md?page=3)