# I need bad Christmas songs. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 21, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327 "2006-11-21T19:26:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/21 "2006-11-21T22:30:13Z")
I nominate “Captain Starship Christmas” by Keith Emerson. _Yeesh!_ I _love_ “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/22 "2006-11-21T22:37:42Z")
“All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/23 "2006-11-21T22:53:42Z")
[QUOTE=Krokodil] “Walkin’ 'Round in Women’s Underwear,” no idea who recorded it [/QUOTE] [Bob Rivers](http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/tunes.asp%3FVar=A). There’s a long list of other Christmas parodies he’s done at that link. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/24 "2006-11-21T22:57:03Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] HANGOVERS! [/QUOTE] THEY’RE NOT BLINKING! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/25 "2006-11-21T23:50:58Z")
“Christmas at Ground Zero” by “Weird Al” Yankovic “Six White Boomers” by Rolf Harris (it’s not actually a bad song - I quite like it. It’s definitely not your typical Christmas song, though.) Doing a little googling, it seems that there is a [“Star Wars” Christmas album](http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/starwars-xmas/) - the link is complete with music. C3P0 singing “Christmas With The Stars” (R2D2 beeping back-up). Oh my god. We have a winner! (My favourite Christmas carol is “Walking 'Round in Women’s Underwear.” It’s such a classic. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/26 "2006-11-21T23:58:44Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] THEY’RE NOT BLINKING! [/QUOTE] I HATE HER! SHE’S A WITCH! ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/27 "2006-11-22T00:30:29Z")
all of the christmas music stations locally play “hava a holly jolly christmas” “jingle bell rock” and “rocking around the christmas tree” at least three times an hour ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/28 "2006-11-22T01:04:03Z")
[QUOTE=Ethilrist] There are some who would think of the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Album as especially cringeworthy. [/QUOTE] I think The Chipmunk Song can safely be put on the list of bad Christmas songs. (The original version, by The Chipmunks, is the definitive verson, but there’s a version by The Lost Dogs that is, in some ways, far worse, that can be heard at [their myspace page](http://www.myspace.com/thelostdogsmusic).) ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/29 "2006-11-22T01:25:00Z")
Some one posted this one the other day on **Shirley Ujest** ’s thread. Prepare for the horror: [I’m gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek](http://www.stomptokyo.com/extras/DalekXmas.mp3). ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/30 "2006-11-22T01:39:27Z")
Any CD of bad Christmas songs would be incomplete without “I farted on Santa’s lap.” A true Christmas classic! Now I have to go listen to some of these songs. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/31 "2006-11-22T02:10:34Z")
Clean or dirty? I was compiling a Christmas CD last year for a friend and there is a lot of pretty off color Christmas tunes. You’d be amazed. Or disgusted. Funny either way. “Frosty the pervert” “Suck on my cock” (the the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”) actually pretty well done. Of course for the clean, any Bing Crosby, Gene Autry, any of the classics. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/32 "2006-11-22T02:21:04Z")
I can’t believe that no one has mentioned _ **“A John Waters Christmas”** _ yet. He talks about the album, and Christmas in general, [here](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4227277). ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/33 "2006-11-22T03:28:10Z")
There’s a great parody of the Chipmunks: _Holy Shit, It’s Christmas_ by Red Peters. _Christmas Time For My Penis_ by The Vandals is both funny \*and \*poorly done. For some of the crappiest Christmas glurge you can ever wrap an ear around, try _The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot_ by Nat King Cole and Dean Martin. Look for stuff by Kevin Bloody Wilson, too. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/34 "2006-11-22T03:39:05Z")
[QUOTE=dahfisheroo] Clean or dirty? I was compiling a Christmas CD last year for a friend and there is a lot of pretty off color Christmas tunes. You’d be amazed. Or disgusted. Funny either way. “Frosty the pervert” “Suck on my cock” (the the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”) actually pretty well done. [/QUOTE] They got [sued](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/xxmas1.html) for that able. Apparently, the copyright holder of _Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas_ didn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/35 "2006-11-22T03:40:09Z")
That should read “album” instead of “able,” of course. ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/36 "2006-11-22T03:42:50Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] [QUOTE=Oakminster] Last year I heard a bizarre tune…it was a parody of **Iron Man** with Christmas lyrics. Don’t remember what it was called or who did it… [/QUOTE] Welp, they replace “I am iron-man” with “I am santa-claus” so it’s either called “I Am Santa Claus” or “Santa Claus”…which would be hard to find. I have it on a tape, no idea of the real name. A good suggestion. [/QUOTE] This would be the same **Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio** also attributed to “Walkin’ ‘Round in Womens’ Underwear” above, on the same album even, entitled “I Am Santa Claus”. That album also has a rendition of “These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things” done Bon-Scott-era-AC/DC style. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/37 "2006-11-22T03:56:23Z")
I don’t know if it’s so much ‘bad’ as … well, okay, it’s bad - but sort of in a good way. If you can get your hands on [Bucko and Champs](http://dvdcrave.com/products/product.jsp?pid=16912) you can get a bundle of songs about Christmas in Australia, including things like driving in a Holden ute (instead of riding in a one-horse open sleigh), or Santa’s sleigh being pulled by white kangaroos, etc. It’s silly stuff, but the target audience - kids - love it. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/38 "2006-11-22T04:01:58Z")
Jingle Cats, [_Meowy Christmas._](http://www.amazon.com/Meowy-Christmas-Jingle-Cats/dp/B000001UEP/sr=8-1/qid=1164168006/ref=sr_1_1/102-1926742-3163319?ie=UTF8&s=music) Audio clips available. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/39 "2006-11-22T04:03:33Z")
I’ve got them all beat. This song is so godawful, so utterly wrong-headed, you won’t know whether to laugh or just stare at the stereo in horror. Tiny Tim’s “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year.” I don’t think it was meant as a joke… or if it is, it’s a joke by a guy who has no idea what AIDS entails (the lyrics make it sound like AIDS is just a bad cold- so don’t worry kiddies, Sanat will be good as new next year). ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/40 "2006-11-22T04:12:50Z")
[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry] I’m making a cd for a Christmas party. I’m looking for both bad lyrics and/or bad singing. So far, I have This horrible rendition of “O Holy Night” (if you haven’t already heard it, you must!) [http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369](http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369) Christmas Shoes Backdoor Santa Suzy Snowflake [/QUOTE] Warning: if you have your sounds on, this is NSFW. But it uses no crude words or dirty pics. [http://www.samtsai.com/p28/the-twelve-days-of-christmas-12-days-of-xmas-ecard/](http://www.samtsai.com/p28/the-twelve-days-of-christmas-12-days-of-xmas-ecard/) It was a uk website about condom usage and the diseases/infections one can get if they aren’t used. Hearing “Chlaaaaamidiaaaaa” to the tune of “Five Golden Rings” is a hoot. Merry XXXmas 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327.md?page=3)