# I need bad Christmas songs. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 21, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327 "2006-11-21T19:26:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JacksonRoykirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e79b87/32.png) [@JacksonRoykirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacksonRoykirk)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/61 "2006-11-22T18:55:02Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] I HATE HER! SHE’S A WITCH! [/QUOTE] FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS! 😃 Bob Rivers keeps me sane during the holidays. I play Twisted Christmas, More Twisted Christmas, and I Am Santa Claus in very heavy rotation this time of year. Along with “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.” ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/62 "2006-11-22T18:57:39Z")
[QUOTE=jackelope] Not that I recall, or that I can find through Googling. Actually it looks like the paper, [Flagpole](http://flagpole.com), may not even do the annual Christmas album anymore. That’s a shame; they were always fun. [/QUOTE] R.E.M. did do some Christmas songs, but they were only released as singles for the fan club. I’ve got a few of them. Nothing horrible enough to merit inclusion here, though. ---
**Author:** ![Yeeter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/96bed5/32.png) [@Yeeter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeeter)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/63 "2006-11-22T21:48:27Z")
if you want streaming music from the internet for Xmas, I LOVE [http://soma.fm](http://soma.fm) Their Xmas in Frisko has included such favorites as “Who put the Dick on the Snowman,” to “All I want for Christmas is my 2 Front Teeth,” to “Jingle Cats.” The sound quality is very good too. Cheers, Y. ---
**Author:** ![Future\_Londonite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9dc877/32.png) [@Future\_Londonite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Future_Londonite)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/64 "2006-11-22T21:52:05Z")
I present you with, possibly, the worst version of 'O Holy Night [http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369](http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369) ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/65 "2006-11-22T21:56:06Z")
[QUOTE=EuroMDguy] I present you with, possibly, the worst version of 'O Holy Night [http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369](http://www.ourmedia.org/node/123369) [/QUOTE] Dude, did you even read my OP? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/66 "2006-11-22T22:40:19Z")
[Here](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0767919076/ref=pd_ys_ir_all_50/002-4071462-4793634) is an interesting book for you. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/67 "2006-11-22T23:11:15Z")
“Do They Know It’s Christmas”?" Is there a worse song? Truly? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/68 "2006-11-22T23:16:46Z")
The Tractors’ “Santa Claus is Coming like a Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/69 "2006-11-22T23:17:42Z")
John Barry is my favorite film composer, so it pains me to report that his “Do You Know How Christmas Trees are Grown?”–from the soundtrack of the Bond film, _On Her Majesty’s Secret Service_–is one of the worst Christmas songs ever perpetrated. It’s sung by some Julie Andrews wanna-be and a chorus of children. For the sake of your sanity, never listen to it. Trust me on this. Elmo–of “Granma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” fame–did a great little ditty back in '98, called “Kenneth Starr is Coming to Town.” ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/70 "2006-11-23T03:35:40Z")
[QUOTE=JacksonRoykirk] FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS! 😃 [/QUOTE] BUY ME SOMETHING! When I was a wee lass, I had an album called Shirley and Squirrelly’s Christmas Songs (And Melvin, too!). And gods help us all, it looks like it was [re-released](http://www.amazon.ca/Christmas-Shirley-Squirrely/dp/B000002SXZ) in '95 on CD. If you can find a copy of it, I recommend “Christmas Haunted House” as the worst of a bad lot. Even when I was a kid it didn’t make any sense; it’s creepy Halloween music, but they’re singing about Santa Claus, and the girl squirrel sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West on helium. ---
**Author:** ![Future\_Londonite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9dc877/32.png) [@Future\_Londonite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Future_Londonite)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/71 "2006-11-23T09:11:16Z")
[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry] Dude, did you even read my OP? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Oopsie I actually meant to post this in another thread on Christmas songs…I’ll slink away right now and hide under my rock till Christmas is over :smack: ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/72 "2006-11-23T18:28:45Z")
For inspiration you can check out the “Xmas in Frisco” stream at [http://somafm.com/](http://somafm.com/) : they only have it up a month a year, thank heavens, because while some of the stuff is nice, some is astonishingly bad or in bad taste. ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/73 "2006-11-23T18:29:49Z")
Damn, I should read closer before posting! What yeeter said. ---
**Author:** ![Tazmanian\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/74 "2006-11-23T19:09:02Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the[sequel to Grandma got run over by a reindeer…](http://webpages.marshall.edu/~hartwel1/humor/misc/grandpa_got_run_over_by_beer_truck.html) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/75 "2006-11-24T21:34:43Z")
And on the same LP as Grandma Got Run Over. . . there’s Percy the Puny Poinsetta (as pronounced). I think it’s fun, but it is definitely Hokey with a capital Ho. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/76 "2006-11-24T22:15:33Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] “Last Christmas” by _Wham!_. (Okay, so tastes vary. I think the lyrics are pretty bad.) [/QUOTE] The lyrics. The signing. The cheesy music. It’s all bad. And then **Jimmy Eat World** covered it. It’s better than the original, but only marginally. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/77 "2006-11-24T22:57:06Z")
If you’re going to cover something like “Last Christmas” by Wham!, you pretty much have to go full fromage or not even bother with it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2006, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/78 "2006-11-25T20:25:44Z")
I gotta tell ya that [Wing](http://www.wingtunes.com/public/samples.aspx) is one of the worst singers out there. The link goes to a site where you can listen to samples of her music. The bad news is that she has a Christmas album. You can’t listen to any of the Christmas music unless you become a member, and I’m frightened to try. But by all means, give the freebies a try. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/79 "2006-11-25T20:31:31Z")
Let’s not forget “Hurray for Santy Claus,” the theme song from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time, if I may humbly opine.) ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327/80 "2006-11-25T20:40:51Z")
My brother had to analyze the “O Holy Night” linked in the OP for his voice class. He made me listen to it the other day. OW. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-bad-christmas-songs/381327.md?page=5)