# I need cheering up **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2026, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466 "2026-01-08T11:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/1 "2026-01-08T11:14:37Z")
My partner of 33 years passed away on Tuesday evening. Peacefully in her sleep . I was with her. She had MS and had gone rapidly down hill in the last 6 weeks. On 19th December I had a stairlift installed. She went up and down it once, then up again and stayed in bed. I called social services when it became too much for me and they started a care routine, arranged for nurses to visit regularly, and ordered an adjustable bed and a hoist which came on Monday. I think it was all too much for her. I’ve never really been alone for long before. It’s hard. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/2 "2026-01-08T11:22:10Z")
I am deeply sorry for your loss May you have strength to bear up and find the comfort you need. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/3 "2026-01-08T11:23:10Z")
I’m very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/4 "2026-01-08T11:31:32Z")
Your foundations have been shaken, no doubt. Hang in there, **pjd**. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/5 "2026-01-08T12:09:59Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about your partner, **pjd**. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/6 "2026-01-08T12:25:07Z")
My condolences on your loss. You can take solace in having done, right unto the end, the best things for her. Her memory will eventually be a source of strength and warmth to you. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now. But it will. Good luck and we’re all here for you. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/7 "2026-01-08T12:29:34Z")
Offering my condolences to you. Grief like this sits on your heart and hurts like hell. I hope you can find people to support you through some of it. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/8 "2026-01-08T12:31:52Z")
I am so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you. 💔 ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/9 "2026-01-08T12:32:52Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss and the suffering and and loneliness it has brought you! Cherish your memories and the good times you shared because I know that’s what she wants you to do! 💓 ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/10 "2026-01-08T12:38:35Z")
Thanks for the kind word, friends. It’s just me and Meave the cat now. yes, it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/11 "2026-01-08T13:04:33Z")
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Are you able to get out of the house, maybe take a few days away with you and the cat to kind of just be? Death of a loved one is just a jumble of emotions, there is the grieving, but there is also all the logistics of dealing with it and the day to day things that need to happen. Focus on small things like making your cat happy and just take one step,at a time. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/12 "2026-01-08T13:06:01Z")
I am so sorry. What a gut punch. Sending you good thoughts ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/13 "2026-01-08T13:08:24Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s so hard. The love you hold for her is so evident in your words and in the way you cared for her, and she knew that. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/14 "2026-01-08T13:14:18Z")
What an awful, rushed progression. You hardly had time to breathe, and then it was over. I hope you can take time now for some self-care. Try to look for a “third place” some recreational spot outside the house where you will see people and feel welcome and relaxed. Arts center, religious center, local pub, anything that works with your interests. Social interaction is really important, even if it’s just perfunctory. Even speaking to the grocery clerk helps. If you can pick up the phone and arrange lunch with a friend, even better. And if you can’t today, then find something cheery on telly and resign yourself to the all-important position of warm lap. \<3 \<3 \<3 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/15 "2026-01-08T13:17:32Z")
So sorry, **pjd**. Losing your partner is one of the hardest things going. Big 🫂 🫂 ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/16 "2026-01-08T13:20:43Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. You cared for her; now care for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/17 "2026-01-08T13:28:06Z")
Very sorry pjd. But here is something cheery - My Wife had to be gone for a week right after Christmas (that’s not the cheery part). We, the dogs and I missed her of course. One dog grabbed a big stuffed Santa-Claus Christmas decoration we have and took it to her on her return. So cute. You don’t have to be alone it it’s hard. You have us. Don’t forget that. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/18 "2026-01-08T15:10:45Z")
I’m so sorry. She will always be with you. Let the good memories help you to keep going. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/19 "2026-01-08T16:02:47Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > something cheery on telly and resign yourself to the all-important position of warm lap I’m trying to do this. > [@enipla](#): > > You have us. Don’t forget that. That does help. Thanks, ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2026, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466/20 "2026-01-08T16:18:35Z")
Man, that’s rough. I’ve been through several family deaths over the last ten years, including one of my sons and two cats. My sympathies for the state of shock you must be in. I hope life treats you better from here on. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-cheering-up/1026466.md?page=2)