# I need knock knock jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063 "2002-03-25T20:06:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/1 "2002-03-25T20:06:52Z")
My son is in a knock knock and silly kids jokes phase. I need help to keep up with his jonesing. He is nearly 4. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/2 "2002-03-25T20:12:31Z")
Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Who’s there?? Knock knock WHO’S THERE?? (repeat as long as you can stand to, until) Knock knock WHO’S THERE!?!? Philip Glass (Okay, perhaps a bit esoteric for a four-year old, but look at it as an opportunity to introduce him to post-modern composers.) ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/3 "2002-03-25T20:12:52Z")
there’s the one about Orange you glad I didn’t say banana. the boo who? one, Oh, don’t cry. And let’s not get started on the elephant jokes… ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/4 "2002-03-25T20:25:28Z")
“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Polish burglar!” ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/5 "2002-03-25T20:26:27Z")
Knock, Knock Who’s There? Ach. Ach Who? God bless you! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/6 "2002-03-25T20:38:54Z")
1. - Knock Knock. - Who’s there? - Interrupting cow. - Interrupting cow wh- - MOOOOOOOO!!! 1. - Knock knock. - Who’s there? - Li’l Lady. - Li’l Lady who? - I didn’t know you could yodel! ---
**Author:** ![whatmove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecc23a/32.png) [@whatmove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatmove)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/7 "2002-03-25T20:49:19Z")
my favorite knock knock joke: you: okay, you start him: knock knock you: who’s there? (wait for awkward pause to run it’s course) ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/8 "2002-03-25T21:02:49Z")
…it’s silly jokes. _Regardez:_ **Knock-knock!** _Who’s there?_ Isabella. _Isabella who?_ Isabella workin’? I had to knock. * * * Dwayne. _Dwayne who?_ Dwayne de tub! I’m dwowning! * * * Amarillo. _Amarillo who?_ Amarillo-fashioned cowboy. * * * Little Old Lady. _Little Old Lady who?_ I didn’t know you could yodel! * * * Artichoke. _Artichoke who?_ Artichoke when he swallow his yo-yo. * * * Henrietta and Juliet. _Henrietta and Juliet who?_ Henrietta big dinner and got sick. Juliet the same thing, but she’s okay. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/9 "2002-03-25T21:34:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rubes \* > \*\*there’s the one about Orange you glad I didn’t say banana. > > the boo who? one, Oh, don’t cry. > > And let’s not get started on the elephant jokes… \*\* This is my four-year-old son’s favorite. But you needed to flesh it out. “Knock, Knock” “Who’s There?” “Banana” “Banana Who?” “Knock, Knock” “Who’s There?” “Banana” “Banana Who?” “Knock, Knock” “Who’s There” “Orange” “Orange Who?” “Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘Banana’ again?” ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/10 "2002-03-25T21:46:53Z")
Interrupting Cow is the best knock-knock joke EVER I’ve said my piece. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/11 "2002-03-25T22:08:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hello Again \* > \*\*Interrupting Cow is the best knock-knock joke EVER > > I’ve said my piece. \*\* And, of course, it’s counterpoint : Knock, knock. Who’s there? Unsatisfying ostrich. Unsatisfying ostrich who? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/12 "2002-03-26T01:13:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > > - Knock knock. > > - Who’s there? > > - Li’l Lady. > > - Li’l Lady who? > > - I didn’t know you could yodel! Trust a flatlander to get it wrong. It’s “Li’l _old_ lady.” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/13 "2002-03-26T01:16:34Z")
Oops almost forgot. … Juana … Juana come out and play? … Anita … Anita ride to school. … Tank … You’re welcome. … Jess … Jess me, open the door. … Ima … Ima commin’ in, open the door! … Oliver … Oliver you, there’s spiders! … Panther … Panther no panths, I’m going thwimming! ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/14 "2002-03-26T01:48:41Z")
Knock, Knock Who’s There? Armageddon Armageddon who? Armageddon tired of telling knock-knock jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Willy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sweet\_Willy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Willy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/15 "2002-03-26T02:37:22Z")
Knock knock… Who’s there? someone too short to reach the doorbell… Knock knock… who’s there? consumption. consumption who? consumption be done about these knock knock jokes… ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/16 "2002-03-26T05:27:11Z")
Knock Knock Who’s There Amy Fisher Amy Fisher Wh **BLAM!** ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/17 "2002-03-26T05:44:16Z")
Knock Knock Who’s There Amy Fisher Amy Fisher Wh **BLAM!** ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/18 "2002-03-26T05:46:40Z")
The joke so nice I had to post it twice. Clever Hans The man whom refuses the smileys. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/19 "2002-03-26T05:55:05Z")
Here’s what you do - give your joke a tremendous build-up. Might go something like this: YOU: Okay, I have the greatest joke ever. HIM: Really? YOU: Yeah, it’s a knock-knock joke, and it’s killer. HIM: All right! YOU: Really, this joke is hilarious. Wanna hear it? HIM: Yeah! YOU: This is so awesome, you ready? HIM: YES! _(this is all just to get him off balance)_ YOU: Okay, say ‘knock-knock’. HIM: Knock-knock. YOU: Who’s there? _(look at him expectantly)_ Very shortly, he’ll catch on. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063/20 "2002-03-26T15:31:22Z")
Knock-knock? Who’s there? Ether. Ether who? Ether bunny. KK WT? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep-beep and run over ether bunny. KK WT? Stella. Stella who? Stella 'nother ether bunny. KK WT? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep-beep and run over ether bunny. KK WT? Stella. Stella who? Stella 'nother ether bunny. KK WT? Consumption. Consumption who? Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-knock-knock-jokes/100063.md?page=2)