# I need some terrible fake idioms/sayings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 22, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105 "2015-12-22T16:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/61 "2015-12-22T20:38:23Z")
Painful rectal itch! The heartbreak of psoriasis! The pain … the _itch_ … of hemorrhoids! Don’t you just love beautiful feet?\* \*Ditto on the age cohort. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/62 "2015-12-22T21:50:05Z")
When life hands me lemons, I make huge useless pyramids of rotting fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Richey84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Richey84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richey84)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/63 "2015-12-22T21:50:48Z")
He could sing the pants off a tree. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/64 "2015-12-22T21:51:52Z")
That which does not kill me hurts like a bastard. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/65 "2015-12-22T21:53:18Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I used to say, “Vaya con queso.” (“Go with cheese.”) _Langue de boeuf, Monsieur!_ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/66 "2015-12-22T22:18:26Z")
I used to like wearing jeans clothing. Then one day, she told me to wear my own. One day in Ancient Greece, Euripides took some torn togas to a tailor. The tailor said “Euripides?” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/67 "2015-12-22T22:23:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > John Caldwell’s “Well that’s ice in the old urinal.” . . . Durn ya! Beat me to it! Hats off to another Caldwell fan! (“Throw him to the dolphins!”) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/68 "2015-12-23T08:01:22Z")
Somewhere on the internet are yearly lists posted by a teacher who gives her young charges a special quiz. The quiz is composed of the beginnings of well known phrases followed by blanks to be filled in. The kids come up with hilarious endings. Sadly, it’s too late at night to think of the key words to google that. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/69 "2015-12-23T08:24:48Z")
A Victorian-type General, you say? How about mangling a little Light Brigade? _Into the valley of the Dolls marched the Six Hundred, and all that bally old rot…_ ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/70 "2015-12-23T08:43:12Z")
A penny saved isn’t worth the paper its printed on. A penny saved is not enough to share your opinion. He went up the mountain a boy. He came down a slide. The road to Taco Bell is paved with wooden tension. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/71 "2015-12-23T09:34:12Z")
[Squadron Leader]Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how’s-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.[/SL] ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/72 "2015-12-23T09:52:05Z")
She was running around like a chicken with her head on the other side of the road. All signs fail in dry weather. When the cats away, the mice will eat the cheese tray. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/73 "2015-12-23T09:55:13Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > In a couple weeks, I’ll be participating in a murder mystery for a friend’s birthday. I received my bio today, and I’ll be playing a retired Victorian colonel who may or may not be addicted to opium… I would absolutelt love it if you modelled him on this chap; Rowley Birkin QC from The Fast Show: [https://youtu.be/18JmieM8SFc](https://youtu.be/18JmieM8SFc) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/74 "2015-12-23T11:51:03Z")
"Later guys, I got things to see and people to do… …Oh no, wait a minute, I got that backwards. I got people _to do_ and things to _see_… …There, that’s much better." ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/75 "2015-12-23T14:00:41Z")
I’ve reached the very pineapple of success! ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/76 "2015-12-23T14:03:13Z")
“I could care less” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/77 "2015-12-23T14:07:33Z")
He was running around like a chicken with his legs cut off! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/78 "2015-12-23T14:15:52Z")
[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/T70-HTlKRXo/hqdefault.jpg "Monty Python's best sketch ever") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T70-HTlKRXo) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/79 "2015-12-23T14:20:54Z")
[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5rKYL0tW-Ek/hqdefault.jpg "Monty Python RAF Banter") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKYL0tW-Ek) ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/80 "2015-12-23T15:55:00Z")
Do you know who Yogi Bera was? He was a famous baseball coach who used to say all kinds of crazy, funny, senseless idioms. Here are 50 you might like: 1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. 2. You can observe a lot by just watching. 3. It ain’t over till it’s over. 4. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded. 5. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105.md?page=5)