# I need some terrible fake idioms/sayings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 22, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105 "2015-12-22T16:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/81 "2015-12-23T19:23:40Z")
You could use one of these: [40 brilliant idioms that simply can’t be translated literally | TED Blog](http://blog.ted.com/40-idioms-that-cant-be-translated-literally/) “The hen sees the snake’s feet and the snake sees the hen’s boobs.” “Looks like he slid in on a shrimp sandwich.” “A dog with feces scolds a dog with husks of grain.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/82 "2015-12-23T20:28:13Z")
Don’t miss it, if you can! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/83 "2015-12-23T20:31:25Z")
It has an all-star international cast of thousands! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/84 "2015-12-23T23:44:39Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I used to like wearing jeans clothing. Then one day, she told me to wear my own. > > One day in Ancient Greece, Euripides took some torn togas to a tailor. The tailor said “Euripides?” He said, “Yeah, Eumenides?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/85 "2015-12-24T01:28:53Z")
**British accents mandatory:** “Me most harrowing experience was the time I was separated from the regiment in Injia, hackin’ me way through the jungle, when suddenly a huge Bengal tiger reared up before me on his hind legs, _BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR_!!! [_Pause_] Oooooh, messed me pants!” “Well yes, sir, I suppose in a case like that, one might.” “No, no, no! Just\* now\*! Messed me pants!” With credit due to Dave Allen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/86 "2015-12-24T01:36:18Z")
> [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > He said, “Yeah, Eumenides?” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/87 "2015-12-24T01:36:33Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > “Well, that puts a monkey in the wrench!” > [@Morgenstern](#): > > You can’t see the forest where they chopped down the trees. These are good, and I will find a way to use them. > [@Wolverine](#): > > She was running around like a chicken with her head on the other side of the road. I think this one makes too much sense for this application. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/88 "2015-12-24T01:40:25Z")
What, smell mothballs?!? I couldn’t get their little legs apart! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/89 "2015-12-24T01:43:54Z")
The best damned soldiers in the world are the Irish. Provided, of course, they’re commanded by white officers! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/90 "2015-12-24T03:28:34Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > You can lead Zoid to opium but you cant make her stop I’m a dude, but hey fuck it, pass the pipe… ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/91 "2015-12-24T03:48:05Z")
A legend that will last a lunchtime. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/92 "2015-12-24T04:33:48Z")
One weekend, I spent a month in **[INSERT THE CITY YOU HATE MOST]**. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/93 "2015-12-24T04:35:30Z")
If st first you don’t succeed, burn the whole place down. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/94 "2015-12-24T05:08:50Z")
The apple doesn’t fall far from the fireplace. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/95 "2015-12-24T05:33:48Z")
I quote the great [Biff Tannen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7wVEAgVPi8): “Why don’t you make like a tree… and get out of here.” “That’s about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.” “I’m not one to look a gift horse in the butt.” “It’s time to race the music.” “Have a nice trip! See you next WINTER!!” ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/96 "2015-12-24T05:42:26Z")
A second word silences the first. The farmer owns the field but the hare owns the crop. Snow covers what the sun discovers. Ladders are always one-way. There is no serpent’s poison without the fang. A book is more than the sum of its pages. If you would make the peace you must first take the peace. Quantity is the meadow, quality the flower. Luck is finding a quarter; pluck is knowing how to spend it. The one on top of the wall is not confined. Sugar is only imagined sweet until it is tasted. If you would never sink, then learn to float. Whatever you might say to the king you can also say to the castle. If you make every place your home then no door can bar your way. Hope adds color to the film of life. ---
**Author:** ![phreak9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/45deac/32.png) [@phreak9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreak9)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/97 "2015-12-24T05:54:10Z")
as my grandma used to say ‘if it aint broke, fix it just a little’ also try to come up with some long familiar lead ins so people just initially agree. Give people time to agree and also talk slow so they partly tune you out so you get 4 subconscious agreements and a tune out. We all respect our grandfathers, theres an old saying my grandfather had, it was about leaders and taking action. Leaders act, while others talk, leaders know the way…then just ramble some nonsense after that like- and I know what I have to do, 4 forks and a spoon wont give me nightmares! use some GW Bush quotes! the one about gynecologists loving their patients is a gem! ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/98 "2015-12-24T06:00:29Z")
Slippery toads never bite. No honest bricklayer ever chewed cigars. She was as drunk as a bridesmaid at a bar mitzvah. Darker than a sea horses nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/99 "2015-12-24T06:11:35Z")
That runs better than a duck on the 4th of July. You are cuter than a grasshopper flying side-saddle on a bumblebee. The Lone Ranger couldn’t have done it any better. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105/100 "2015-12-24T14:16:47Z")
You could continually ask 'What do you get when you cross a “BLANK” and a rhetorical question?" And then completely drop the subject. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-some-terrible-fake-idioms-sayings/741105.md?page=6)