# I need to convince my wife that the snakes in our yard won't kill her.  Help!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 28, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870 "2005-09-28T16:26:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/21 "2005-09-28T22:25:02Z")

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> [@taxi78cab](#):
>
> I hate hate hate snakes too. It has NOTHING to do with being bitten. I grew up in an area that has no poisonous snakes. Doesn’t matter. The fear is of something unexpectedly slithering by. Yes, it’s irrational.

I fully sympathise. I’ve got an earthworm phobia. Yeah, I know. I know all about irrationality

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**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/22 "2005-09-29T00:25:08Z")

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My ex wife was pretty phobic about snakes when I met her. I was able to get her past it to the point that she bought me a boa constrictor for my birthday and we bought a ball python after. She not only would handle them but took them to the elementary school and gave presentations.

You could always tell your wife that when you kill a snake, it releases a scent which attracts more snakes. It’s total bullshit but it might work.

Just because a particular kind of snake is known to exist in a certain area does not mean you have much chance of seeing them. Technically there are two kinds of rattlesnakes in the area where I live but I’ve never seen one, dead or alive or talked to anyone who has.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/23 "2005-09-29T02:23:53Z")

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> [@taxi78cab](#):
>
> I hate hate hate snakes too. It has NOTHING to do with being bitten. I grew up in an area that has no poisonous snakes. Doesn’t matter. The fear is of something unexpectedly slithering by. Yes, it’s irrational. But that doesn’t stop it from being very very frightening. I don’t care that it’s way across the street or on the other side of the yard. I still don’t want to see them. I don’t even like walking by the snakes in the pet store. Who knows if the cage cover is on tightly?!

That’s how I feel, too. I can’t even look at pictures of snakes, see them on tv, or talk about them for long periods of time (in fact, this thread is making me feel oogy).

When I was little, we lived in this building that had once been a large estate, now broken up into four apartments. There was a lot of brush and woods around, and the place was just infested with black snakes. Despite this, my father made sure I never knew until we moved out four years later. If my mom saw one when she waited for me to get off the bus, she managed to steer me away.

One thing my dad did was to keep the grass cut extremely short, trim all the brush and bushes, and make sure there was no tall grass for them to hide in. Maybe that would work?

Good luck. Please, don’t try to make your wife overcome this. People who try to show me pictures of snakes and what not have only sent me into anxiety attacks. (My cousins LOVED to chase me with nature books!)

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**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/24 "2005-09-29T03:00:33Z")

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I’m getting palpitations just reading this thread. Reminds me of an Emily Dickinson poem I read in school that really found an echo in me:

> [@](#):
>
> A narrow fellow in the grass  
> Occasionally rides;  
> You may have met him, -did you not?  
> His notice sudden is.
> 
> The grass divides as with a comb,  
> A spotted shaft is seen;  
> And then it closes at your feet  
> And opens further on.
> 
> He likes a boggy acre,  
> A floor too cool for corn.  
> Yet when a child, and barefoot,  
> I more than once, at morn,
> 
> Have passed, I thought, a whip-lash  
> Unbraiding in the sun, -  
> When, stooping to secure it,  
> It wrinkled, and was gone.
> 
> Several of nature’s people  
> I know, and they know me;  
> I feel for them a transport  
> Of cordiality;
> 
> But never met this fellow,  
> Attended or alone,  
> Without a tighter breathing,  
> And zero at the bone.

Zero at the bone is still the way I feel, even facing a simple garter snake in a terrarium.

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**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/25 "2005-09-29T03:30:32Z")

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Despite my directing Mrs. Plant to run over a Copperhead, (she missed it with a ton and a half Chevy) snakes like you and I, are just trying to make a living.

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**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/26 "2005-09-29T12:55:02Z")

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Thanks for all the helpful links and information everyone. I definitely saw the Garter snake. The pictures above confirm that much for sure. I haven’t seen them since that day, however, so I’m hoping my wife will start to settle down a little.

I know her fear is irrational, but I don’t look down on her for that (I’ve got my own fear problems). I don’t expect her to overcome her fears overnight, but I am hoping that she will educate herself on the benefits of snakes–and the fact that the garter snakes won’t hurt her. I also am hoping that our children will learn from both of us not to fear these creatures without reason.

We have no pets at this point, because of my son’s allergies. She is considering an outside cat, which I hate. She is usually very reasonable, so I’m hoping that after I show her the “Wisdom of Many Dopers” she will learn to live with the harmless garter snake.

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**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/27 "2005-09-29T16:22:50Z")

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> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#):
>
> She is considering an outside cat, which I hate.

You are a truly Evile person who likes snakes and hates kitties, or you are a responsible pet owner who doesn’t want the cat to stay outside? 🙂

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/28 "2005-09-29T17:04:17Z")

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I had always been told that poem is about a _trouser_ snake…

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/29 "2005-09-29T17:04:17Z")

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I had always been told that poem is about a _trouser_ snake…

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/30 "2005-09-29T17:10:47Z")

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Now why I felt the need to say that twice, I’ll never know.

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**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/31 "2005-09-29T17:33:30Z")

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Sorry, but I’m with your wife here. Kill 'em. Kill 'em all. Ick!

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/32 "2005-09-29T18:07:56Z")

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Give her something else to occupy her mind.  
Tell her about **Hal** ’s great fondness for sheep.

If that don’t set her laughing too hard to be scared…

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/33 "2005-09-29T19:27:16Z")

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> [@sj2](#):
>
> why not just go and either whack them with a shovel

:dubious:  
…uh, because they’re living, breathing creatures who don’t deserve to die just because someone who just moved into their turf is scared of them?

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/34 "2005-09-29T19:33:15Z")

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Just to add: when I see snakes in a populated area, I tend to catch them and carry them to the woods or something nearby where they will be safe and not bother anyone. Now, I’m not scared of snakes, so it isn’t hard for me to just pick them up… but I AM scared of roaches and scorpions, and yet I’ve caught both and carried them outside (not with my bare hands for those guys, though!!). I vote that you try to make the yard less snake-friendly, then just catch/release or chase away any that do come in.

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**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/35 "2005-09-29T19:41:51Z")

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> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> You are a truly Evile person who likes snakes and hates kitties, or you are a responsible pet owner who doesn’t want the cat to stay outside? 🙂

Well, I’ve never been known for my responsibility…

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**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/36 "2005-09-29T20:23:45Z")

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Completely off-topic hijack: **Opal** , are you the same OpalCa who mods the **mock\_the\_stupid** community on Livejournal? Duuuuude! 🆒

As for the garter snakes, if at all possible, pick one up and bring it to your wife. Ease her into holding it and let it slither around for a while. Cool experience as all get out.

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/37 "2005-09-29T22:28:07Z")

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> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> Completely off-topic hijack: **Opal** , are you the same OpalCa who mods the **mock\_the\_stupid** community on Livejournal? Duuuuude! 🆒

Yep, that’d be me 🙂

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**Author:** ![SlyFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@SlyFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlyFrog)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/38 "2005-09-29T22:33:20Z")

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Have you considered tying her down and letting the snakes crawl all over her, just to show her that they won’t harm her?

Worth a try.

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**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/39 "2005-09-29T23:08:01Z")

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We have garter snakes and black snakes at the cottage. I’ve managed to catch the odd one, and it’s always amazing to me just how silky smooth their belly scales are!

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**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\
**Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-convince-my-wife-that-the-snakes-in-our-yard-wont-kill-her-help/323870/40 "2005-09-30T02:17:43Z")

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\>\>I don’t expect her to overcome her fears overnight, but I am hoping that she will educate herself on the benefits of snakes–and the fact that the garter snakes won’t hurt her.\<\< Again, if she is truly phobic, this will not help. If she is phobic, then her fear of snakes has nothing to do with any perceived danger, but is just _fear of snakes_. My mother, like some others have mentioned on this thread cannot stand to see a snake in a movie, or TV show, or a photograph. Obviously, she isn’t afraid that a photo of a snake will do her an injury – she is just so afraid of snakes in general that she is even affected by a picture of one. And, if she sees a snake in real life? Well, she is _terrified_ beyond rationality. If she sees a snake she has no other thought than to get away from it. She has climbed trees and fences to get away from a snake. She climbed into the open rafters of my dad’s workshop once to get away from one. She almost knocked my little sister down a ravine once getting away from one. Another time, she would have run onto a busy highway, if my dad hadn’t caught her and stopped her. When she sees a snake, she doesn’t think ‘danger,’ she thinks, ‘SNAKE’, and she wants it _gone._

Now, if she just dislikes snakes in a mild way, or genuinely thinks that all snakes are dangerous, you might be able to educate her out of her fear. But not if she is genuinely phobic. A phobia is an unreasoning fear and, as such, will not respond to education.

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