# I need to fucking swear ... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 14, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236 "2001-08-14T18:35:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/1 "2001-08-14T18:35:12Z")
I don’t need to rant. I just need to fucking swear. But I will tell you why, just because I’m a hell of a guy. I’m having kind of a shitty day. I won’t go into it, it really isn’t a pretty picture. Not horrible just – whatever, does it matter? The only thing I’d really like to do right now is keep up with my online journal and see what my journal friends are up to. Do you think I can access the site? Fuck no. That pisses me off to no end. I mean I’ve been trying to get in for hours! So without further ado … _ **Those motherfucking-rotten-cock-smoking-clit-slathering-shit-sucking-stinky-sphincter-chewing-crack-dicking-hairy-slit-twat-snorting-fart-smelling-crunchy-tit-licking-fuckfaced-cockhead-assnose-douche-drinking-sticky-foreskin-munching-penislipped-rectumface-bastards!!** _ Let me in!!! I feel better now. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/2 "2001-08-14T18:37:46Z")
I was with ya 'til the douche drinking. That’s just foul, man. Encore! [sub]Yeah, I’m pissed about the site being down too. Dickturds.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![headshok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@headshok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/headshok)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/3 "2001-08-14T18:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > **motherfucking-rotten-cock-smoking-clit-slathering-shit-sucking-stinky-sphincter-chewing-crack-dicking-hairy-slit-twat-snorting-fart-smelling-crunchy-tit-licking-fuckfaced-cockhead-assnose-douche-drinking-sticky-foreskin-munching-penislipped-rectumface-bastards!!** Another band name! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/4 "2001-08-14T18:58:17Z")
Wow, that makes **Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck** look bland by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/5 "2001-08-14T19:14:18Z")
:goes pale: Wow… : slowly starts to clap hands : : others join in slowly : : stands… others join slowly, one by one : : applause grows slowly to a thunderous level : : yelling and shouting : : shot of Jack’s enemies grudgingly joing in at the back of the hall : : crowd storms stage and lifts Jack shoulder-high : : applause grows deafening as screen freeze-frames and turns sepia : : run credits : Never let it be said I don’t know when I’m beaten. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/6 "2001-08-15T00:49:40Z")
You, sir, are a gentleman. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/7 "2001-08-15T00:54:35Z")
Wow. That was pretty good. Do you mind if I print that out and just point to it when I’m in a bad mood and someone asks me what was wrong? I can never think of anything appropriate, and that basically says it all. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/8 "2001-08-15T01:03:03Z")
**{{{{Jack}}}}** [sup][sub]I’m not supposed to do that in The Pit, am I? Well, who the fuck cares? There, I cussed, so now my post qualifies. Pftttthhhhh![/sub][/sup] Hope the site’s back up for you soon, hon. * * * Jeg elsker dig, Thomas [sub][sup]Join [**Team Straight Dope**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70348) in the [**fight against cancer**](http://www.ud.com/home.htm)![/sup][/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/9 "2001-08-15T01:15:10Z")
Wow. That was pretty good. Do you mind if I print that out and just point to it when I’m in a bad mood and someone asks me what was wrong? I can never think of anything appropriate, and that basically says it all. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/10 "2001-08-15T01:17:14Z")
oops. double post, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/11 "2001-08-15T04:42:44Z")
It is my gift to the world. ---
**Author:** ![schief2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@schief2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schief2)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/12 "2001-08-15T07:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ross \* > \*\*Never let it be said I don’t know when I’m beaten. 😉 \*\* Nonsense. You, sir, [shall never be beaten](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=77753). [sub]Not that the OP wasn’t pretty damn good itself.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Stewart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dave\_Stewart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Stewart)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/13 "2001-08-15T07:28:34Z")
Nice work. Did you damage your keyboard? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/14 "2001-08-15T19:22:00Z")
you, sir, have just penned the perfect hallmark. didn’t we work on the welcome wagon together? ---
**Author:** ![Kittie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Kittie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kittie)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/15 "2001-08-16T03:08:16Z")
Note to self: Don’t piss off Jack :eek: _I love you Jack!_ What?! Don’t look at me like that! ~Kittie ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-fucking-swear/76236/16 "2001-08-16T12:39:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Another band name! \*\* It’s a little long for the advertising flyers/posters. May I suggest we just go with “rectumface-bastards!!”? Got to say, that’s a fine rant. And the link given by **schief2** leads to another exceptional one. [Kilgore] I love the smell of Pit rants in the morning. [/Kilgore]