# I need to have my neighbor thrown out and/or murdered. How do I do this?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 21, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541 "2013-06-21T05:55:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541/81 "2013-06-24T03:09:34Z")

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No need to record, just playback live very loud.If you can manage a three second delay it will shut her right up 'cause she’ll keep interrupting herself.

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**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541/82 "2013-06-24T03:23:07Z")

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Just go over there and start screaming back at them. Hey, if you can’t beat em, join em.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541/83 "2013-06-24T03:30:29Z")

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> [@Ayatollah Yawuntz](#):
>
> As many have said already - record.
> 
> Then play it back to them.

Every once in a while, someone comes up with something truly brilliant; something so exquisitely perfect that it brings the universe back into balance.

Thank you, Ayatollah Yawuntz. Thank you. 🙂

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-have-my-neighbor-thrown-out-and-or-murdered-how-do-i-do-this/661541/84 "2013-06-24T03:43:17Z")

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> [@elbows](#):
>
> Source her phone number, landlords phone number, building owners number. Include it on your flyer. Which should say you’ve had enough, need your sleep, and now call these numbers regularly to complain. Tell them if they are so disturbed, they are welcome to do the same.
> 
> Sorry to hear about your troubles, hope in all ends soon!

I had an idea: if you try the flyer strategy, slip them under everyone’s door (inc. the loud lady) and…  
…put one under your own door, with a corner showing. If Cuntsuelo McLoudyloud sees it, she’ll assume someone else printed up the flyers.

(If you want further safety, don’t tell _any_one you did the flyers. You can still discuss the issue with neighbors: “Did you see that flyer? We should all call the super, and email the management company.”)

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