# I need to know everything there is to know about kissing. Now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 9, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796 "2007-11-09T16:37:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/21 "2007-11-09T20:15:55Z")
Don’t kiss her. That’s so street. Caress her mouth with your mouth. Softly. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/22 "2007-11-09T20:40:50Z")
No tongue. Gotta crawl before you walk. Quality over quantity, less is more, etc. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/23 "2007-11-09T20:52:44Z")
Tongue is OK. Tongue is good. It’s just a bad idea to try to lick her stomach. Just a wee bit is perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/24 "2007-11-09T21:15:08Z")
She indicated that you need help, so she needs to help you by showing you what she would like by kissing you the way she wants you to kiss her. People can tell you how to kiss all day long, but this is a case where showing helps the most. Ask her to show you what she would like. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/25 "2007-11-09T21:19:02Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Tongue is OK. Tongue is good. It’s just a bad idea to try to lick her stomach. Just a wee bit is perfect. [/QUOTE] It’s a bad idea to try to lick her stomach via her esophagus. Any other method is generally ok. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/26 "2007-11-09T21:25:06Z")
No drool! Keep your saliva to yourself. I second the recommendation for Burt’s Bees lip balm. You don’t want to put on so much that your lips feel sticky or slimy, just enough to feel soft. (Skip the Burt’s Bees variety that’s called “Lifeguard’s Friend” or whichever kind has a red cap and sunscreen in it – it turns your lips white.) Definitely get your new ladyfriend to coach you a little. My husband didn’t have a ton of experience when we got together, but he had a can-do attitude and a willingness to take direction (and natural talent, as he would want me to add). You’ll figure it out pretty quickly, but it’s important to maintain good communication and a sense of humor during the getting-to-know-you, experimental phase. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/27 "2007-11-09T21:25:50Z")
Wait, we’re talking about mouth kissing mouth, right? I thought mangoes were for practicing cunnilingus… ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/28 "2007-11-09T21:27:16Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] She indicated that you need help, so she needs to help you by showing you what she would like by kissing you the way she wants you to kiss her. People can tell you how to kiss all day long, but this is a case where showing helps the most. Ask her to show you what she would like. [/QUOTE] This is probably the best advice in this entire thread. I have been told by different people that I am both the best and the worst kisser in the world. Tastes vary so get her to tell you and (better yet) show you what she likes. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/29 "2007-11-09T21:30:34Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Wait, we’re talking about mouth kissing mouth, right? I thought mangoes were for practicing cunnilingus… [/QUOTE] Your confusing mangos with tacos. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/30 "2007-11-09T21:58:12Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Your confusing mangos with tacos. [/QUOTE] And YOU are confusing “your” with “you’re.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/31 "2007-11-09T22:07:07Z")
Don’t risk anything. Hire a stunt-kiss double. ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/32 "2007-11-09T22:09:34Z")
1. clean breath. Not fresh-chewing-gum breath, but I brushed my teeth/had a mint an hour ago breath. 2. no spit. slimyness=ew. 3. Relax. She likes you. She wants you to kiss her, so she obviously doesn’t think you’re gross or anything. You’re in. Relax. (Now don’t fuck up! I kid…) 4. Think of it as…a caress. You’d also like to hold her hands, stroke her fingers, stroke her hair, etc., right? You’re just holding hands…with your tongues. Also, take your cues from her. Match the level of pressure. If she’s gentle, you be gentle. If she kisses a little harder, you kiss a little harder. Once you feel more comfortable, nudge things in the direction you’d like, but not too quickly. There’s lots of give-and-take in a good kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/33 "2007-11-09T23:01:19Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] It’s a bad idea to try to lick her stomach via her esophagus. Any other method is generally ok. [/QUOTE] But if you CAN do it, you’re golden. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/34 "2007-11-10T00:25:38Z")
[QUOTE=cbawlmer] No drool! Keep your saliva to yourself. [/QUOTE] Agreed. If either of you are wiping your mouth after the kiss, it’s not going well. And don’t try to jam your tongue deep into her mouth; focus instead on licking her lips and the tip of her tongue. ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/35 "2007-11-10T01:41:50Z")
[QUOTE=ThirdCultureKid] I was lucky enough to have my cousin hand down her battered copy of _Worst Case Scenario: Dating and Sex_ to me, with notes scribbled in the margin. I’m happy to now pass along.. (and yes, I have used it too :D)Paraphrased to make a little clearer. **How to Deliver the Perfect Kiss** 1. Cradle your date’s face with your hands Look into her eyes 2. Tilt your head while tilting hers as well. Gradually bring your mouth towards hers, while looking at her lips 3. Gently Touch your lips to hers Focus on the lips first, giving soft, little kisses. Slowly part your lips, letting your tongue move out to touch/stroke her lips. Gauge her reaction. If she opens her mouth in response, proceed. 4. Explore delicately with your tongue Open your mouth a little wider and let your tongue meet hers. Try to massage her tongue with yours, then switch to pretending they’re fencing, parrying, daring, and the like. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can _gently_ nibble her bottom lip, run your tongue over her teeth, “catch” her tongue with your teeth and suck on it. Remember to modify your moves to her responses. If something is making her not participate, leave it. If something makes her shiver, remember it 😉 Take frequent breaks and know when to stop The longer you keep your tongues inside each other’s mouths, the sloppier the kiss will be. And stop before your jaw aches too! 😛 [/QUOTE] I really like this. Thanks 🙂 . [QUOTE=Solfy] A warning on the mangos - some people are allergic! They’re related to poison ivy. There’s urushiol in the skin. [/QUOTE] Yeek! So…umm…just kiss the inside of the mango then while avoiding the skin? (I recall eating a mango, skin and all, a few times and not getting any blisters. Hmm.) [QUOTE=Glassy] There probably \*is \*someone out there who does want to kiss people whose faces are covered in oozing blisters. And you don’t want to kiss that person. [/QUOTE] It’s been said on these boards before that “Everyone is someone’s kink”. [QUOTE=tdn] Don’t kiss her. That’s so street. Caress her mouth with your mouth. Softly. [/QUOTE] I think you and I were on the same page with the PUA stuff up until this nugget of info. Seriously where are you getting it from? This is date four coming up, I’m not taking steps back here by teasing her with my lips. [QUOTE=Sitnam] No tongue. Gotta crawl before you walk. Quality over quantity, less is more, etc. [/QUOTE] She’s taking the initiative with the tongue here. I’m just trying to figure out how to respond. [QUOTE=WhyNot] Wait, we’re talking about mouth kissing mouth, right? I thought mangoes were for practicing cunnilingus… [/QUOTE] Like I said, I bought “a couple” of mangos 😉 . And while we’re on the same page, last date the girl made a sex joke that I responded to with another joke that she took a bit seriously. So she says “You’re getting ahead of yourself here, you haven’t even reached second base yet. There’s a natural order of things here.” Remind me, what _is_second base? [QUOTE=Muffin] Don’t risk anything. Hire a stunt-kiss double. [/QUOTE] Lmao. That’s really cracking me up right now. [QUOTE=beanpod] 3) Relax. She likes you. She wants you to kiss her, so she obviously doesn’t think you’re gross or anything. You’re in. Relax. (Now don’t fuck up! I kid…) [/QUOTE] I think this is the second most important piece of advice, right after the bit about asking for coaching. ---
**Author:** ![ThirdCultureKid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@ThirdCultureKid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThirdCultureKid)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/36 "2007-11-10T02:31:35Z")
You’re so welcome! Always happy to help out fellow inepts 😃 ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/37 "2007-11-10T02:32:41Z")
[QUOTE=William Shakespeare] Romeo. If I profane with my unworthiest hand - My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. Juliet. Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss. Romeo. Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too? Juliet. Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in pray’r. Romeo. O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do! [/QUOTE] As others have said, it’s like your mouth’s holding hands with her mouth (well, no-one’s quite said that, but it’s the image I got). Gentle suction (_is_ there a way to make that sound less …ick?) can be nice, just enough to keep your lips sealed together. And a little, very little, spit swapping is needed for the hormones to really kick in, it’s the difference between “Hey, it’s like kissing my brother!” and “Oh studmuffin, I must have you now!” Take time out to kiss each other’s neck, earlobes, eyelids, tips of noses etc - definitely no dribbly spit and don’t stick your tongue in her ear - it feels weird, off-putting and makes your next mouth to mouth kiss taste like earwax. Have fun, make sure she’s having fun too. Add me to the list of people who think talking through what you \*both \*enjoy is good. Talk, practice, talk, practice, talk, practice, practice, practice! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/38 "2007-11-10T03:14:55Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > Remind me, what issecond base? Generally, the most impressive embellishment you can think up the next time you’re bragging about your exploits, which doesn’t involve direct contact with anyone’s genitals other than your own. ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/39 "2007-11-10T04:04:35Z")
So receiving a blow job then? I’d rather give than receive, but I’ll take what I can get. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796/40 "2007-11-10T04:20:21Z")
Er, OK, other people can’t come in direct contact with your genitals either. That’s third. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-kissing-now/425796.md?page=3)