# "I need to shave the lawn" and other misspeakings **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604 "2010-08-18T05:10:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/21 "2010-08-19T16:20:30Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I kinda got stuck between June and July once and referred to the month as “Juloo.” > > My days are numbered. Yes, but 30 of them or 31 of them? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/22 "2010-08-19T16:26:53Z")
I think I got this from a weird friend I had in technical school years ago - lasagna is often lasagnuts for me (pronounced "la-sawg-nuts). I don’t know why. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/23 "2010-08-19T18:44:11Z")
I must not have been paying close attention when my parents taught me the names of appliances as I consistently mix up their names. So I end up saying, “Take these clothes down in the basement and throw them in the stove” or “Will you put the milk in the dishwasher for me?” Once when we were getting ready to go to a party my husband asked me if he needed to wear a “tirt and a shy” so that’s something we say around here for semi-formal. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/24 "2010-08-19T18:48:18Z")
Often after a stop at the barber someone will ask me “Did you get a haircut?” I politely have to correct them with “No, I got them all cut.” ---
**Author:** ![Looey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee7513/32.png) [@Looey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Looey)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/25 "2010-08-19T20:25:40Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > my husband asked me if he needed to wear a “tirt and a shy” Is there a word/term for doing this? I do it a lot, kind of like tongue-dyslexia. You often catch yourself mid-phrase, but I once asked my mother in it’s entirety, “Do you have any Chip-Stak, my lapps are really chipped?” I always thought ‘shave the lawn’ meant to shave one’s legs. Guess that’s the G-rated version. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/26 "2010-08-19T20:30:25Z")
> [@Looey](#): > > > [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > > > my husband asked me if he needed to wear a “tirt and a shy” > > Is there a word/term for doing this? I do it a lot, kind of like tongue-dyslexia. A [Spoonerism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism)? ---
**Author:** ![Looey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee7513/32.png) [@Looey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Looey)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/27 "2010-08-19T20:41:24Z")
Yes, yes! Spoonerism. You’re my new hero. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/28 "2010-08-19T20:50:17Z")
I overheard my son saying to a friend on the phone that he had to shuffle to snow. I wasn’t sure that was a mistake, it might have had more to do with the quality of his snow removal. Appliance names are all interchangeable for me, glad to see that I’m not the only one, that it’s not a sign of senility. ---
**Author:** ![BG43214\_YAHOO.COM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58f4c7/32.png) [@BG43214\_YAHOO.COM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BG43214_YAHOO.COM)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/29 "2010-08-20T14:56:39Z")
When we got our first TV, back in the 1950’s, and my mom wanted us to turn it off, she always said, ‘close the TV’…and also ‘close the lights’…never ‘turn off’…she did this all her life!!! & thought we were crazy for telling her it was not the right way to say it… ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/30 "2010-08-20T15:28:07Z")
> [@BG43214\_YAHOO.COM](#): > > When we got our first TV, back in the 1950’s, and my mom wanted us to turn it off, she always said, ‘close the TV’…and also ‘close the lights’…never ‘turn off’…she did this all her life!!! & thought we were crazy for telling her it was not the right way to say it… what nationality? closely connected to the old country? ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/31 "2010-08-20T18:09:09Z")
We lived near a couple called Ben and Layne a long time ago. All of us mistakenly called them Len and Bayne at one point. It got so we would just call them that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/32 "2010-08-21T03:12:01Z")
My worst one was when my best friend was dating a woman named Sashi. Over breakfast over at the end of a long, sleep deprived weekend visit I called her “Sushi.” I realized it immediately and apologized. From their reactions I’d guess I wasn’t the first to make this mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/33 "2010-08-21T17:09:07Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > You’ve got to see [this commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvFSgXpyhoM). Either you’ll never make that mistake again, or you always will. > > [sub]And, yes, for those of you who’ve seen it…“tulips on my mound,” indeed.[/sub] That was freaking hilarious! I was laughing out loud as I sit here by myself watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model. Freaking hilarious! > [@Gedd](#): > > I sometimes call the dishwasher the washing machine. But isn’t that what it does? It washes, just dishes not clothes. I think it should be perfectly fine to call them both “washing machines.” I used to say “load the washer” any my husband would get confused as to which one I was loading. But now I’m the only person I know that calls it a “clothes washer” and it’s a habit. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/34 "2010-08-21T19:31:52Z")
> [@Looey](#): > > Yes, yes! Spoonerism. You’re my new hero. Whereas a malapropism is to say a wrong, similar-sounding word to hilarious effect, such as “penis ensues.” ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/35 "2010-08-21T19:33:00Z")
I’ve been known to call the airport the “plane station.” ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/36 "2010-08-21T19:53:16Z")
> [@BG43214\_YAHOO.COM](#): > > When we got our first TV, back in the 1950’s, and my mom wanted us to turn it off, she always said, ‘close the TV’…and also ‘close the lights’…never ‘turn off’…she did this all her life!!! & thought we were crazy for telling her it was not the right way to say it… Was she French? In French one would literally say close(fermer) the lights. I’ve heard native French speakers say “close the lights” before. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/37 "2010-08-21T22:28:46Z")
‘Turn left at the baseball court. Yes, the concrete one with the hoops at either end. Oh bugger, I’ve done it again, haven’t I?’ A spoonerism that it took me years to grow out of was ‘par cark.’ Apparently that’s quite a common one. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/38 "2010-08-21T23:23:43Z")
My father, while distracted and flustered, once told us to put the soda in “cold”. Meaning the refrigerator. He didn’t seem to appreciate it later when I asked him if I should take the pizza out of “hot”. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2010, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/39 "2010-08-22T08:39:35Z")
Yesterday my fiance and I were cleaning the bedroom and he asked why I had a spoon rest on my bedside table. As I swept behind the bed, not really paying attention to myself, I said it was for my incest. I meant to say incense. The funny thing is that he didn’t even notice what I said. ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604/40 "2010-08-22T14:32:28Z")
My mother’s favorite was to tell us thats hot it just came out of the fridge. When getting out of the car, we roll up the doors and lock the windows. Those two were once misspoken, but are a part of normal talk in the house now, my kids are picking them up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-need-to-shave-the-lawn-and-other-misspeakings/550604.md?page=3)