# "I never received your e-mail" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 25, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381 "2003-02-25T12:32:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/1 "2003-02-25T12:32:40Z")
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard people say that. “We didn’t get the e-mail that class was cancelled so here we are.” “Oh, you never e-mailed me back so I thought you weren’t interested.” Etc etc Call me dubious :dubious:. E-mail has been around for years now and it ain’t rocket science. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten someone else’s e-mail by mistake, so it’s not like it’s getting routed to the wrong mailbox. And the internet shouldn’t be swallowing whole e-mail notes. Maybe it’s that carnivore program…[ul][_]Are perhaps these people just losing the note in the 30 spam notes they receive? [_]Or are they lazy and just delete all their e-mail when it piles up too much? Or are they just using an easily unverifiable excuse to avoid me?[/ul]Or, by chance, is undelivered e-mail a common issue? ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/2 "2003-02-25T12:38:58Z")
Several e-mails from that a woman sent to me were placed directly in my trash and deleted because she put XXX in the subject. That is kiss kiss kiss. If it was from a teacher though I think it would make it through the filters ok. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/3 "2003-02-25T13:03:30Z")
It can happen; I wouldn’t imagine it happens much (as a percentage of total messages sent and received); servers go down occasionally; some ISPs may accept the message to their SMTP server, but for some reason fail to notify the sender that it didn’t get any further, some SMTP servers will keep trying for, say, 72 hours, only after that does the sender get back a message saying it was undeliverable (often due to typos in the address), but that 72 hours meansa missed appointment. Some ISPs carry out spam filtering before they drop the messages into your POP3 mailbox and spam filtering occasionally results in denial of a valid message (this happened to me recently). Possible, but not terribly common. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/4 "2003-02-25T13:37:52Z")
On my home email account, I get about 60 spam letters a day, and maybe two actual emails a week. I accidentally delete the occasional email. ---
**Author:** ![lovelyluka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@lovelyluka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelyluka)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/5 "2003-02-25T14:18:49Z")
But I think that checking your spam to make sure you didn’t delete something important is your responsibility just like checking your email is your responsibility - I mean, spam filters aren’t rocket science either. I guess if you have the kind of filter that **Mangetout** is talking about, you don’t have as much of a choice. But none of the ISPs around here do this. And I don’t have enough bounced emails or to justify all the times I’ve heard “Nope, didn’t get it…” Incidentally, my spam filter is me. ---
**Author:** ![lovelyluka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@lovelyluka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelyluka)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/6 "2003-02-25T14:19:55Z")
bounced emails or _error messages_… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/7 "2003-02-25T14:28:38Z")
It also depends on the recipient; if it is a company and they have a server set up to distribute incoming mail; unknown recipients (i.e. a typo in the part before the @) would normally go to a postmaster for individual addressing, but it is possible to set these things up (inadvertently even) so that messages to unknown addressees just disappear into electronic heaven or pile up somewhere that never gets checked. It would be bad, but not impossible. **lovelyluka** - thing is with ISP spam filtering is that you don’t necessarily know they are doing it - I was completely unaware that one of my ISPs was filtering my incoming mail (you’d think they would advertise the fact as a selling point, but no) until somebody contacted me by phone and told me that they couldn’t email me. ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/8 "2003-02-25T14:33:27Z")
I’ve got major problems with my school email server–sometimes emails dated Monday don’t show up in my inbox until late Tuesday or Wednesday. I’ve also never received emails when people misspelled my email address but honestly believed they typed it correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/9 "2003-02-25T14:38:11Z")
On occasion, I get email that was sent 3 days earlier. I have also heard people say that they just got an email from me that I had sent 3 days prior. I was on the phone with the person and I heard the email “chime” over the phone when the email arrived on their end. THEM: “Oh, the email is from you!” ME: “I sent that 3 days ago.” ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/10 "2003-02-25T15:12:30Z")
I have sent myself cc’s of mail I have sent others and had it arrive 2 days after they received my original. At one account, I REGULARLY ( at least once a week) get mail apparently intended for a user with the same user name (first initial, middle initial, last name) but a DIFFERENT DOMAIN ([Starpower.net](http://Starpower.net), not [Erols.com](http://Erols.com)). I’ve alerted them, but it still comes. FTR, I am not “Elaine” [sub] is THAT why I get those “Increase your cup size” ads?[/sub]Unfortunately, it’s all tame stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/11 "2003-02-25T17:21:57Z")
Back in my Navy days (just a couple of years ago), I would get that from some of the other section heads. That is, until I started using the nifty “return receipt” option Outlook has. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/12 "2003-02-25T18:29:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > Back in my Navy days (just a couple of years ago), I would get that from some of the other section heads. That is, until I started using the nifty “return receipt” option Outlook has. Um, anyone who has this feature turned on is a complete idiot. It allows spammers to verify that an email address is “live”. If you ever get an r.r. from someone, promptly tell them what A Bad Idea This Is and have it turned off. Note that it is a mail account setting and not a mail agent setting (for the receiver). ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/13 "2003-02-25T18:39:02Z")
I have heard this is becoming a big problem with both the MSN and AOL ISPs. Are you or recipients using these ISPs? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/14 "2003-02-25T19:43:04Z")
BEGIN TOTAL OFF-TOPIC COMMENTS I can’t believe you been here a whole year and I’ve not noticed the name “NardoPolo”. Who knew the greatest marble player who ever lived was on this message board? ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/15 "2003-02-25T19:54:36Z")
Funny. I have the opposite problem with my students: Them: Uh, I sent my assignment to you via e-mail. Didn’t you get it? Me: No, I did not. [note: no, I didn’t delete it] Them: Well, something’s wrong then, because I did send it. Obviously they’re lying, but I just found it funny that someone with the exact opposite problem had started this thread. “Your e-mail must not be working properly” is the new version of “the dog ate my homework.” ---
**Author:** ![DrLizardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DrLizardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrLizardo)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/16 "2003-02-25T20:13:23Z")
I think it’s simply a matter of not being able to depend on email as a “medium of record” – for instance, if I submitted a paper by email, I’d definitely send it with a return receipt request, and follow up by phone/fax/etc if I didn’t get one. To address the OP – I’m the one saying that “Sorry, I didn’t get your email” very frequently, and I’m not lying, nor am I lazy or irresponsible. Between my ISP’s “blacklist” of spam domains and phrases (XXX meaning “kisses” is a great example) and my own filter list things just drop. To address lovelyluka’s point: I think email is just like mail: It is NOT the recipient’s job to make sure he/she got something. It is the sender’s job to make sure it got there. If it’s important, track it. Follow up on it, etc. Otherwise, realize you’re rolling the dice and there’s a modest chance it won’t get through. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/17 "2003-02-25T21:24:03Z")
I just thought I’d share that it is possible to get someone else’s email by mistake. When I had an AOL account a few years ago, maybe twice or three times I received an email that didn’t have me as the receipient or even the carbon copy receipient either. Both were just mundane emails between friends, one of them from a guy to a girl if I remember correctly, just the main thing I remember is the utter confusion I had in how I had received the random emails. And it wasn’t that I even had the same user name and different domain like lurkernomore. Just totally random. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/18 "2003-02-25T21:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ftg \* > Um, anyone who has this feature turned on is a complete idiot. It allows spammers to verify that an email address is “live”. How about not being a complete jerk about it, ftg? Either that or blow it out your rear end. For one thing: I sent the stuff from Navy e-mail account to Navy e-mail account on the command’s LAN. > [@](#): > > If you ever get an r.r. from someone, promptly tell them what A Bad Idea This Is and have it turned off. Note that it is a mail account setting and not a mail agent setting (for the receiver). See my suggestion to you just above. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/19 "2003-02-25T21:42:56Z")
p.s. I don’t ever recall getting any kind of spam on a @_.mil or @_.gov account. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381/20 "2003-02-25T22:06:07Z")
I’ve definitely had some email I’ve sent never reach its destination and never bounce back, either. One was a resume that I sent to a friend of a friend. Several months later I interviewed at the company through a headhunter, and actually interviewed with the person I’d sent the resume to; she’d never received it. I’ve also had problems with my current ISP if I use a bogus email addy in my “from” and set my “reply-to” with my actual email addy. Most of the time the email would get to it’s destination, but sometimes it would just hit the bit-bucket. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-received-your-e-mail/157381.md?page=2)