# "I never saw the movie, but I read the Mad parody" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 22, 2019, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909 "2019-04-22T21:42:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/21 "2019-04-23T20:46:07Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Sister Superior: “Maria, you can’t come to the convent to escape from your problems.” > > Maria: “Why not?” > > Sister Superior: “Because we came here to get away from YOU!” \*\*MOTHER SUPERIOR: \*\*Maria, we have a problem. You do not \*\*belong \*\*in a convent. **MARIA:** You mean I belong in the **outside world**? \*\*MOTHER SUPERIOR: \*\*No, not \*\*there \*\*either. That’s the **problem**. * * * **CAPTAIN VON TRIPE:** Nobody bother me. I have a full day of **hanging around** to do. * * * **CAPTAIN VON TRIPE:** I’m \*\*tired \*\*of hanging around the country. I think I’ll go to Vienna and hang around the \*\*city \*\*instead. Oh, I could go on and on and on… :o ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/22 "2019-04-23T20:50:50Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Oh my God, it was priceless. I finally saw _The Sandpiper_ for the first time, about a year ago, and it instantly brought the parody back to my mind, panel by panel, even though I hadn’t read it in at least 40 years. > > The parody ends with the Token Negro and the Beatnik on the beach, delivering a meta-commentary on the movie, and I was actually disappointed that the movie didn’t end that way. It felt incomplete. … And in the final panel, the bird crapped on them! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/23 "2019-04-24T00:54:05Z")
I’ve never seen the Richard Burton war thriller _Where Eagles Dare_ but Mad’s _Where Vultures Fare_ still amuses me. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/24 "2019-04-24T01:01:37Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > I still love “Star Blechhhh” – hate to say it, but as a satire on TOS it’s still spot on. “I can’t believe your ears either, Mr. Spock.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/25 "2019-04-24T01:07:48Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > \*\*MOTHER SUPERIOR: \*\*Maria, we have a problem. You do not \*\*belong \*\*in a convent. > > **MARIA:** You mean I belong in the **outside world**? > > \*\*MOTHER SUPERIOR: \*\*No, not \*\*there \*\*either. That’s the **problem**. > > * * * > > **CAPTAIN VON TRIPE:** Nobody bother me. I have a full day of **hanging around** to do. > > * * * > > **CAPTAIN VON TRIPE:** I’m \*\*tired \*\*of hanging around the country. I think I’ll go to Vienna and hang around the \*\*city \*\*instead. > Oh, I could go on and on and on… :o The parody I love to quote is **201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy** Dr. Floyd: Did somebody just throw a bone at our ship? Stewardess: Probably an ape from some other airline. We could only accept “plug money” from one. Frank: What’s for dinner? Dave: A glass of steak, a glass of potatoes, and a glass of pie. Frank: Nothing to drink? Dave: Yeah. A piece of coffee. Sid (HAL): Sorry to interrupt your meal, guys, but I just discovered a broken part in the TKUHF parabolic reflector. Dave: A broken reflector? What should we do, SID? SID: Fix it! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/26 "2019-04-24T01:30:15Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The parody I love to quote is **201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy** > > Dr. Floyd: Did somebody just throw a bone at our ship? > > Stewardess: Probably an ape from some other airline. We could only accept “plug money” from one. > Frank: What’s for dinner? > Dave: A glass of steak, a glass of potatoes, and a glass of pie. > Frank: Nothing to drink? > Dave: Yeah. A piece of coffee. > Sid (HAL): Sorry to interrupt your meal, guys, but I just discovered a broken part in the TKUHF parabolic reflector. > Dave: A broken reflector? What should we do, SID? > SID: Fix it! “Oh, **no**! You mean I’ve eaten **Dr Koznowski**?” “That’s **right**. What will you tell \*\*Mrs \*\*Koznowski?” “That he was a **great man** … and \*\*delicious \*\*to the **end**?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/27 "2019-04-24T01:34:23Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’ve never seen the Richard Burton war thriller _Where Eagles Dare_ but Mad’s _Where Vultures Fare_ still amuses me. Going from memory here: “How can the guards understand what we’re saying?” “They’re speaking German English. We’re speaking English German.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/28 "2019-04-24T01:48:46Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Going from memory here: > > “How can the guards understand what we’re saying?” > > “They’re speaking German English. We’re speaking English German.” I had to look it up. When the Allied characters (posing as Germans) speak to Germans, they speak unaccented English and are talking in “English-German”. The German characters who respond speak in German-accented English, and are talking in “German-German”. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/29 "2019-04-24T01:54:11Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I had to look it up. When the Allied characters (posing as Germans) speak to Germans, they speak unaccented English and are talking in “English-German”. The German characters who respond speak in German-accented English, and are talking in “German-German”. Ach so! Well, I was close. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/30 "2019-04-24T13:35:09Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Ditto. I still laugh about the scene where Bill, the one who killed his daughter’s drug dealer, comes to Schmoe’s apartment with his wife Joan (don’t remember their MAD names). They meet Schmoe’s wife at the door, and Joan says “Bill, I think I’m going to be violently ill.” It’s just such a fitting expression of utter contempt, I use it in conversation as much as possible. > > Later, they join Schmoe at the dinner table, which is already a mess, and Schmoe lets out a huge belch. He says “I’m sorry, I should have belched after I picked my teeth!” (I used that in front of a Sunday school teacher, and she was not impressed) Joan says “Bill, I think I’m going to throw up all over the table.” Bill responds “Go ahead. They won’t notice.” > > Still haven’t seen the movie. Yes! That killed me; also at the end of the meal, Schmoe’s wife says it time to clear the dishes. Bill’s wife says “but these are paper plates”. Mrs Schmoe says, “that’s okay, you scrape and I’ll erase” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/31 "2019-04-24T14:31:12Z")
Footnote to Schmoe: MAD did a parody of All in the Family (Brawl in the Family Fare), and there’s a scene of all the principles together. Edith: Archie, let’s do something tonight. Why not go see a movie? Archie: What are you talking about? I’ve been taking you to the movies every week for the past year! Gloria: But daddy, there are other pictures besides “Joe.” Mike: Yeah. 52 times is enough! Archie: There’s a reason, Meathead! You know that scene at the end where Joe kills all them hippies? You see how one of 'em is still breathing? We’re gonna keep going till Joe gets it right! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/32 "2019-04-24T17:22:39Z")
I never hear the series name “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” without thinking, “Voyage to See What’s On the Bottom”. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/33 "2019-04-24T17:28:29Z")
Raging Bully (Raging Bull) I recall it beginning with someone saying that the censors are allowing them to now use the word _bad word_friggin. One of the few Scorsese films I haven’t managed to see yet. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/34 "2019-04-24T17:50:29Z")
I pulled out my DVD with the entire collection of Mads on it last night and flipped through to read some of the parodies I’d missed, like _Hud_ (which I STILL haven’t seen the “real” movie of) ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/35 "2019-04-24T18:46:26Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Ditto. I still laugh about the scene where Bill, the one who killed his daughter’s drug dealer, comes to Schmoe’s apartment with his wife Joan (don’t remember their MAD names). They meet Schmoe’s wife at the door, and Joan says “Bill, I think I’m going to be violently ill.” It’s just such a fitting expression of utter contempt, I use it in conversation as much as possible. > > Later, they join Schmoe at the dinner table, which is already a mess, and Schmoe lets out a huge belch. He says “I’m sorry, I should have belched after I picked my teeth!” (I used that in front of a Sunday school teacher, and she was not impressed) Joan says “Bill, I think I’m going to throw up all over the table.” Bill responds “Go ahead. They won’t notice.” > > Still haven’t seen the movie. The line that stuck in my mind from this parody was when the ladies retired to the kitchen to take care of the supper dishes (they were paper plates.) “You scrape and I’ll erase.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/36 "2020-04-09T17:34:04Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I never hear the series name “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” without thinking, “Voyage to See What’s On the Bottom”. “Leak, I know every inch of this ocean like the back of this **right hand** of mine!” “That’s your \*\*left \*\*hand, Admiral.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/37 "2020-04-09T17:36:52Z")
The might be the place to mention that [Mort Drucker](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mort_Drucker) died yesterday. Most everything mentioned in this thread was his work. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/38 "2020-04-09T18:42:13Z")
Too many to list! I had my own subscription from the mid-Seventies to the mid-Eighties; my brothers also subscribed from the mid-Fifties to the mid-Seventies. The three of us are spaced nearly 10 years apart so when one grew out of the target audience, the next was ready to take over. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/39 "2020-04-09T19:01:07Z")
I don’t remember the particular movies but there were a lot of Mad movie parodies in the 60s that were my first introduction to the movie. I’m pretty sure there was a Cool Hand Luke parody that I saw before the movie. I did happen to see Fantastic Voyage before I saw the Mad parody, I think that was the only one where I saw the movie first. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909/40 "2020-04-09T20:17:39Z")
_The Godfather_. Hmm, don’t recall the Mad Magazine parody name. Quick Googling shows a 2012 Mad Mag piece _The OddFather_ but that’s obviously not the one I’m remembering from childhood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-never-saw-the-movie-but-i-read-the-mad-parody/832909.md?page=3)