# I now own a goat. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062 "2003-08-05T06:33:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/21 "2003-08-05T19:03:41Z")
Bah, and I just read the rest of the thread. What is it with goat felching. Duke of Rat mentioned it too. I must be getting whooshed since I can’t imagine that as a pleasurable past time. Although, I think it was here on the weird things you’ve found thread that someone found a goat/sheep castrating manual that had pictures of a guy biting off their testicles? You guys are weird. ---
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/22 "2003-08-06T05:35:44Z")
Im sad now ☹ The real owners came around earlier to day and took her home! It was so cute! Baaaaah, maybe my dad will go buy one now! Luckily it never ate any of our clothes, and only pooped on the deck once! My co-worker (whom is a chef) repeatedly told me to give him the goat so he could eat it! Sick! How could anyone eat such an innocent animal? **tomndebb** The goat had big floppy ears that hang on the side, it was black and white and about 2 feet high at the head. **Necromancer** : You rock! What does felching mean? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/23 "2003-08-06T06:02:29Z")
Well, you asked. TMI alert: Felch Verb. To lick or suck one’s recently deposited semen from the rectum, or more recently the term has applied to such actions involving the vagina. [1960s] ---
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/24 "2003-08-06T06:10:33Z")
Um, gross? Why would someone even invent a term for that? yuck. ---
**Author:** ![kiwiboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/35a633/32.png) [@kiwiboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiwiboy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/25 "2003-08-06T06:19:27Z")
And goat felching regularly comes up in pit threads as a term of abuse (hence my earlier question). Oh, and **dorkusmalorkusmafia** I’ve met guys who used to use the 'dental method 'of sheep castration back in the old days before teh invention of the rubber ring. Some old fashioned farmers still use a cut throat razor and cook up the mountain oysters later… ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/26 "2003-08-06T06:27:24Z")
God help you, dear. I hope you have nose plugs handy? If not, nevermind. Ignore me for now, you’ll find out soon enough. Oh, and keep anything you want to salvage far FAR away from the goat’s enclosure. They will eat ANYTHING in their general vicinity. Trust me. 😃 They are cute, though. I’ll give them that. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/27 "2003-08-06T10:28:36Z")
Owning a goat does NOT mean that you automatically get promoted to Moderator or any sort of SDStaff position, even though we DO require newcomers to provide their own goats these days, ever since JillGat curried our Staff Goat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/28 "2003-08-06T15:02:08Z")
> [@](#): > > The goat had big floppy ears that hang on the side, it was black and white and about 2 feet high at the head. Consider yourself lucky that it was taken away. That, there, was a Nubian. They are the LOUDEST and second most obnoxious breed of goat in the world (La Manchas being the second loudest and _most_ obnoxious). If you are struck with insanity at some point and simply _must_ get a goat, look for one of the various Alpine breeds (they all have upright ears). As bad as they may be, they are simply not as loud and obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/29 "2003-08-06T15:42:43Z")
Goats & the SDMB. My, my, my. The memories that brings back. Got any PVC pipe? I feel a yen for the Final Frontier. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/30 "2003-08-07T05:14:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\*Owning a goat does NOT mean that you automatically get promoted to Moderator or any sort of SDStaff position, even though we DO require newcomers to provide their own goats these days, ever since JillGat curried our Staff Goat. 😃 \*\* What? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/31 "2003-08-07T07:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dogzilla \* > \*\*I was pulling into the parking lot at Target the other day and damn near wrecked the car. I had spotted a herd of goats fenced in the green area around the parking lot, happily munching away on kudzu. I had not expected to see a herd of goats landscaping the Target parking lot! > > Turns out, the City’s sheep project has expanded to goats. My fair city was spending millions on mowing and other landscaping tasks in the city parks. Not just the grass, but they were also trying to control the kudzu – ask a Southerner what kudzu is. Sheep love kudzu, it’s very nutritious for them and they are way cheaper for the city to keep than landscapers. No noxious chemicals to kill the kudzu, no huge piles of grass and kudzu clippings. We even have a shepherd and a herding dog on the city payroll! Now the city spends about $250K per year to maintain the public green areas and we found an environmentally friendly way to do it. Yea for Tallahassee… > > I’d like a goat myself so I wouldn’t have to mow… but I’m afraid a goat would eat everything else and then I’d have to eat the goat. > > Congratulations on the newest addition to your family! \*\* Funny… I’d always thought a kudzu was some kinda goaty/llamaesque (sadly, probably the last time I’ll ever get to type llamaesque) creature… so I thought you meant the goats were eating other goaty things. Targets in Orlando are nowhere near as goaty, although closer to the redneck Riviera you’ll start seeing Dale Jr. fans that often seriously resemble satyrs… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/32 "2003-08-08T12:03:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dogzilla \* > \*\*I was pulling into the parking lot at Target the other day and damn near wrecked the car. I had spotted a herd of goats fenced in the green area around the parking lot, happily munching away on kudzu. I had not expected to see a herd of goats landscaping the Target parking lot! > > Turns out, the City’s sheep project has expanded to goats. My fair city was spending millions on mowing and other landscaping tasks in the city parks. Not just the grass, but they were also trying to control the kudzu – ask a Southerner what kudzu is. Sheep love kudzu, it’s very nutritious for them and they are way cheaper for the city to keep than landscapers. No noxious chemicals to kill the kudzu, no huge piles of grass and kudzu clippings. We even have a shepherd and a herding dog on the city payroll! Now the city spends about $250K per year to maintain the public green areas and we found an environmentally friendly way to do it. Yea for Tallahassee… > > I’d like a goat myself so I wouldn’t have to mow… but I’m afraid a goat would eat everything else and then I’d have to eat the goat. > > Congratulations on the newest addition to your family! \*\* You’re kidding. I first looked at this thread, because I decided a few weeks ago to put a goat in the (x-files) fic I’m writing because I wanted something silly to be investigated. The person who owns the goat is upset because she claims it talks. When asked why she keeps it, she claims its her business partner in an environmentally friendly lawn trimming service. People do that for real?! I’ve only seen one attempt (on a segment last summer for The-N) of getting one to trim a lawn and it didn’t look successful. Who’d of thought… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/33 "2003-08-08T12:10:22Z")
This is the 21st Century. Nothing is so strange or so scary that somebody, somewhere isn’t doing it, or at least trying to. ---
**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/34 "2003-08-08T13:51:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dutchboy208 \* > \*\*Funny… I’d always thought a kudzu was some kinda goaty/llamaesque (sadly, probably the last time I’ll ever get to type llamaesque) creature… so I thought you meant the goats were eating other goaty things. > \*\* You’re thinking of a [kudu](http://www.cathouse-fcc.org/gifs-jpegs/southafrica/kudu.jpg). Did anyone else open this thread expecting it to be about a Pontiac? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/35 "2003-08-08T15:29:09Z")
This seems like an appropriate thread in which to quote one of my favorite passages from _Bridge of Birds_: > [@](#): > > “How much?” asked One-Eyed Wong. > > “It is yours for a song,” said Master Li. “In this case, a song means a large purse of fake gold coins, two elegant suits of clothes, the temporary use of a palatial palanquin and suitably attired bearers, a cart of garbage, and a goat.” > > One-Eyed Wong did some mental addition. > > “No goat.” > “But I must have a goat.” > “It isn’t that good an earring.” > “It doesn’t have to be that good a goat.” > “No goat.” > “But you not only get the earring, you also get the ear that is attached to it,” said Master Li. I will leave it to all of you to imagine why Master Li needed a goat…or you could read the book. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/36 "2003-08-08T17:07:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Teelo \* > My co-worker (whom is a chef) repeatedly told me to give him the goat so he could eat it! Sick! How could anyone eat such an innocent animal? Yeah, I know. Usually only the guilty ones are eaten. After a proper trial with a jury of their peers, tho’. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/37 "2003-08-08T17:31:13Z")
> [@](#): > > ## \*Originally posted by Balance \* \*\*This seems like an appropriate thread in which to quote one of my favorite passages from _Bridge of Birds_: quote: > > “How much?” asked One-Eyed Wong. > > “It is yours for a song,” said Master Li. “In this case, a song means a large purse of fake gold coins, two elegant suits of clothes, the temporary use of a palatial palanquin and suitably attired bearers, a cart of garbage, and a goat.” > > One-Eyed Wong did some mental addition. > > ## “No goat.” “But I must have a goat.” “It isn’t that good an earring.” “It doesn’t have to be that good a goat.” “No goat.” “But you not only get the earring, you also get the ear that is attached to it,” said Master Li. > > I will leave it to all of you to imagine why Master Li needed a goat…or you could read the book. 🙂 \*\* I’ve read it. It’s Grand! Have you read the two sequals? There’s an omnibus edition out that has all 3, plus illustrations from Kaja Foglio! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/38 "2003-08-08T19:45:19Z")
As a matter of fact, **Bosda** , I have the omnibus right here on my desk at the office. I reread it during lunch breaks this week. _Bridge_ is the best, although I like the other two as well. I bet **Teelo** didn’t threaten to sell the goat for dog food and return to the Glittering Glades of Golden Grain for a better one. Softy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062/39 "2003-08-08T20:47:29Z")
**elfkin** For real. What I find very funny, noting your location, is the company who leases the sheep to our city, Belwether Solutions… is located in Concord, NH. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-now-own-a-goat/193062.md?page=1)