# I object to JohnClay's very existence and everything he stands for **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965 "2014-07-24T19:57:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/121 "2014-07-26T10:07:46Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > …does anything happen if you play his name backwards? Well, he did say he was Satan, so you’ll hear his name if you play “Stairway to Heaven” backwards. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/122 "2014-07-26T10:18:00Z")
I have to applaud you **JohnClay**. You’ve done very well on this board, enticing people into fully believing your ‘mental illness’ schtick, whilst getting away with stuff that most of us would have been banned for eons ago. Your trolling is masterful! It was controversial, nay, _gross_ enough to get folks sucked in, but subtle enough to have us scratching our heads about your mental health. Well played\*\* JohnClay\*\*. Well played indeed! Now fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/123 "2014-07-26T10:20:22Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > …Now fuck off. > **[Restricted language in the Pit](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858)** > > The following expressions should not be directed at other posters. cunt and variants, e.g., cuntlapper motherfucker cocksucker fuck you and variants, e.g., go fuck yourself, fuck off and die suck/lick my dick/cock and variants Expressions not... > [@](#): > > The following expressions should not be directed at other posters. > > …fuck you and variants, e.g., go fuck yourself, fuck off and die… Well you didn’t say “and die” so maybe you’ll get away with it… ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/124 "2014-07-26T10:43:21Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > [Restricted language in the Pit - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858) > > Well you didn’t say “and die” so maybe you’ll get away with it… Are you going to _report_ me fucker? Go ahead. I will eagerly await a directive from the mods. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/125 "2014-07-26T11:25:32Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Are you going to _report_ me fucker? > > Go ahead. I will eagerly await a directive from the mods. > > :dubious: Feeling an insult to your national pride?😛 ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/126 "2014-07-26T14:27:08Z")
[He’s not long for this world…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729495) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/127 "2014-07-26T14:42:57Z")
I have to admit, I bought into the act. But after this latest ramping up of the “Oh, gosh, who me? I’m only misunderstood in my insanity!” bit, I’m inclined to believe (finally), that yes, he’s trolling the shit out of the board for funsies. However, considering the length of his tenure here and how long-reaching and in detail the com has been, I gotta give props were props are due. Well played, person who apparently has way too much fucking time on your hands. Good luck on your next board dupe, you crazy ass motherfucker. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/128 "2014-07-26T14:46:40Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Party pooper. No, Jennifer is a [party pooper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjwofYhUJEM). ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/129 "2014-07-26T17:13:10Z")
As far as long-term trolls go, I can’t think of someone who did it better than you, **JohnClay**. \*\*Diamonds02 \*\*came close but was much too obvious. I applaud your patient commitment to the character. You could have taught \*\*Umkay \*\*a thing or two, maybe she’d still be here. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/130 "2014-07-26T17:28:22Z")
To be honest, I enjoyed reading Terry Pratchett’s “The World of Poo.” I think the main issue here is the way the Moderators force their way into my home and force me at gun point to open and read every thread JohnClay starts. They make me read every post and every reply. If only there was some sort of Ignore this poster feature! Or if there was some mechanism where I could see who started a thread and where I could select to open that thread and read the posts or NOT. Oh, and John? By commenting on threads other than your own and engaging in conversations and the like, you become a member of the community here. Not just the community pest. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/131 "2014-07-26T17:35:32Z")
I propose that he’s mentally ill AND a troll. I don’t see how the two are mutually exclusive. Dio could be a troll, and he was often sincere. Not all trolls are the same. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/132 "2014-07-26T18:14:07Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > It’s like there being a cooking show where the judges give a dish a 3/10. They’re meant to judge it objectively, not worry about whether the cook would feel upset about the score. In their speech they could try and soften the blow though. I’d put five bucks on him not even being married. Y’all got played. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/133 "2014-07-26T18:50:26Z")
I’ve never heard of a long-winded poo. Had a lot to get off its, er, chest, did it? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/134 "2014-07-26T19:29:34Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > So by calling your wife a 5 and talking about her **gunt** … I can’t begin to tell you what I was picturing in my head before I figured it out. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/135 "2014-07-26T20:06:59Z")
Can’t possibly be worse than the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/136 "2014-07-26T23:39:57Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > I’ve never heard of a long-winded poo. Had a lot to get off its, er, chest, did it? That would be a Cleveland steamer. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/137 "2014-07-26T23:46:45Z")
No, no, **JohnClay**. [My Interactive Pooh](http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0049VQEWO?pc_redir=1405401397&robot_redir=1) isn’t that kind of game. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/138 "2014-07-27T00:24:32Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I suspect your view of the world is constantly changing, depending on your current mental state. However it appears that most of the time, you do not understand many of the unwritten rules of societal behavior. Or perhaps you do understand them, but don’t understand the value of following them so you deliberately ignore them. There are several people in my immediate family who have severe mental illnesses and I see the same thing. My sane sister made the point that with people who are so oblivious to societal behavior, you need to be blunt. You don’t have to be mean, but blunt. Other than opening scores of threads about his own personal world, he’s not really intruding into other threads, at least for the moment. Can’t the moderators just create a special guidance for him specifically to just make one **JohnClay** thread, as has been suggested and restrict him from making all of these others? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/139 "2014-07-27T00:24:47Z")
**JohnClay** exists to give other people hope. Because no matter how ugly, how dumb, how pathetic you are, there’s always a guy like **JohnClay** around. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965/140 "2014-07-27T01:03:11Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > **JohnClay** exists to give other people hope. Because no matter how ugly, how dumb, how pathetic you are, there’s always a guy like **JohnClay** around. I know, right. It’s why I sometimes go to Wal-Mart. I look at JohnClay in the same way that I look at the random creep who tries to strike up a conversation with me in public. By the time the conversation is over, I know the creep’s underwear size, length of his penis, and the approximate weight of the turd he laid that morning. The creep is generally harmless, just irritating and a little, well, creepy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-object-to-johnclays-very-existence-and-everything-he-stands-for/693965.md?page=8)