# I once had this T-shirt ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2000, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386 "2000-10-10T09:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/21 "2000-10-12T00:02:30Z")
A friend’s acquaintance wore a T-shirt that showed a mushroom cloud with the words: Made in America Tested in Japan …to the Hiroshima war memorial. Needless to say, it required a police escort to get him out of there alive. ---
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/22 "2000-10-12T00:46:35Z")
I almost forgot about this. George Carlin sells t-shirts at his shows. The first one is covered in about a hundred dirty words or so. The second one, the one I almost bought, simply says “Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself.” ---
**Author:** ![Shaelar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Shaelar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaelar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/23 "2000-10-12T02:39:30Z")
I’d wear the shirt. Generally I don’t care who’s offended by my T-shirts. Favorite Tshirts: “Plants and Animals died to make room for your fat ass.” "Spank me! Spank me harder! Oh yes! The rolled up newspaper! Spank me like never before! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/24 "2000-10-12T02:56:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrothaTJ \* > \*\* One time on the Simpsons while Homer was out bowling with his friends, Lenny had on a shirt that said “Bull Shirt.” I’m sure some company actually makes those somewhere… \*\* These were popular in the early 70’s. Several kids at my elementary school had them (“Bullshirt”, “Cowshirt”, “Horseshirt”, etc.), but Mom would never get me one. I was SO deprived as a child… ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/25 "2000-10-12T05:33:37Z")
I’ve also got the Charles Manson tee, although the legend on mine reads “Charlie Don’t Surf.” At the height of the Ollie North-Fawn Hall scandal I picked up (5 finger discount, as it happens) a t-shirt featuring a caricature of North with the words “The Oliver North Fan Club.” I wore it until the armpits rotted out. Actually I wore it until strangers began mistaking me for a republican. One of my current favorites is a solid white tee whith the words “Shut up and drink” printed in large black block letters. You see how this would go over big at frat parties. I’ve also got one with a drawing of a kid dressed in grunge gear with a smiley face for a head. The caption is “I hate your band.” I usually save this one for open mic nights. ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/26 "2000-10-12T06:49:12Z")
Pissing the world off, One person at a time ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/27 "2000-10-12T09:10:34Z")
- - - I have a semi-dirty job with no uniform and I got tired of wearing dark colored blank athletic shirts, so I regularly searched for goofy t-shirts. A couple favorites I had: ~“Welcome to Loserville - Population: You” (done like an interstate highway sign) ~I had another one that had a pic of Ghandi’s head and a caption that said “Cool like Ghandi”. (You just can’t find good Ghandi t-shirts anymore) - As to the cotton-picking shirt, I once saw one for sale that had the theory of relativity and underneath it “It’s a white thing, you wouldn’t understand”. It was kinda funny (this was at the height of “black thing” t-shirts) but somewhat extreme for my tastes. - MC ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/28 "2000-10-12T19:28:38Z")
My sister, the doctor, once sent me a T-shirt titled “Cardiac Arrest” in which there are two cops walking a big human heart down the street. Heh! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/29 "2000-10-12T19:44:28Z")
I had the Hitler T-shirt too. A friend brought it back from England in the early 1980s. I never wore it though–while I was a little out of the mainstream at the time, that wasn’t exactly the kind of statement I was looking to make. Another favourite was one that (from a distance) looked like the kind you might get at a university: the name of the school in those sports-like letters with a seal of some sort in the middle. On closer inspection, the “school” was Wasted State, and the seal showed a whiskey bottle, some beer cans, and a couple of joints arranged in a pattern. Sadly, my T-shirts have become more boring as I’ve grown older. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/30 "2000-10-12T21:09:08Z")
There’s a company called Northern Sun Merchandising [http://www.northernsun.com](http://www.northernsun.com) that sells all kind of lefty merchandise, including T-shirts; some rude, some groovy, some silly. You can request a catalog from their website. They have “Another Skinhead for Peace” (picture of Gandhi); that quote from Pat Robertson about feminists being lesbians and practicing witchcraft; a picture of the North American continent labeled “Indian Territory;” a picture of old-growth forests that says “May the Forest Be With You;” and ever so much more. ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/31 "2000-10-12T21:29:17Z")
Northern Sun kicks Ass! They are right down on Lake Street (in Minneapolis), and I used to get all kinds of t-shirts there. I should really check them out again. ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/32 "2000-10-12T21:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrothaTJ \* > \*\* > Favorite funny shirt #2: One time on the Simpsons while Homer was out bowling with his friends, Lenny had on a shirt that said “Bull Shirt.” I’m sure some company actually makes those somewhere… \*\* I want the shirt that Homer was selling at the garage sale that read “Ayatollah Rock -n- Rolla” with a picture of Khomeini. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/33 "2000-10-12T23:03:24Z")
Some of the T-shirts listed and mentioned at [www.engrish.com](http://www.engrish.com) are good for a chuckle or two, especially the ones reading “Spread Beaver: showing the vaginal area” (yup, there’s a picture of it on the site) and “S **T, F** K, SATAN”. ---
**Author:** ![BrothaTJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@BrothaTJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrothaTJ)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/34 "2000-10-12T23:29:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ivar \* > \*\* > I want the shirt that Homer was selling at the garage sale that read “Ayatollah Rock -n- Rolla” with a picture of Khomeini. \*\* Hmm, I remember seeing this on the Simpsons but I coulda swore it was “Ayatollah Assaholah.” Just the other day (really!) I was thinking to myself “You know, I doubt they’d let ‘assaholah’ slide through on network TV, did I remember that right?” Guess not. I think it’s funny shtuff either way. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/35 "2000-10-12T23:44:47Z")
Once, when I did security, a man came in wearing a Hitler shirt to an Agnostic Front show. Straight up Hitler. We told him he couldn’t wear it in. (If you’ve ever been to an AF show, you’d know why). He took it off, and goddamn I’ve never seen so many swastikas and little white supremicist tattoos on one person. We gave him a white shirt and made him put it on. Once inside, during the middle of the show, he threw up a salute. We had to have three people basicly run him out of there before a riot broke out. I think he still got his ass kicked by SHARP on his way home. Anyway, I had a friend who insisted on wearing a “Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks” shirt. And Brother TJ. It was Ayatollah Assaholla. But they cut off the last three or four letters. There was enough for smarter viewers to extrapolate the meaning. ---
**Author:** ![BrothaTJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@BrothaTJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrothaTJ)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/36 "2000-10-12T23:51:01Z")
The thing I remember most about that Simpsons’ shirt is Homer’s reply when Marge chided him for not getting rid of it: “But Marge, it works for any Ayatollah!” ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/37 "2000-10-13T03:28:22Z")
“Ka Mana Wana Lei U” around what looks like a college seal. [http://www.crazyshirts.com](http://www.crazyshirts.com) ---
**Author:** ![masafer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@masafer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/masafer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/38 "2000-10-13T05:30:15Z")
A t-shirt on a guy sitting in front of me at Wrigley Field bore the phrase “certified muff diving instructor”. This by itself isn’t any worse than the co-ed naked t-shirt, or any other innuendo laced t-shirts. Except that this one also included a graphic depiction of the act in question. I was at the game with my father, and we spent the whole game trying not to comment on it. This was not helped by the fact that these guys had about 10 beers a piece and then insulted us when we asked them not to blow smoke in our faces. Needless to say, I’m now a White Sox fan. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/39 "2000-10-13T07:15:10Z")
I had one that was a parody of a fraternity logo that read “I Phelta Thi” (I felt a thigh–some people needed it explained. A shocking number actually expressed surprise on seeing it–“I didn’t know you were in a frat.”) ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386/40 "2000-10-13T15:44:11Z")
Was just reading Ian Frazier’s _On the Rez_ where he describes the shirt a young Lakota man was wearing at a powwow held at the Pine Ridge reservation. The shirt read: “My heroes have always killed cowboys” Now THAT’S a good shirt! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-once-had-this-t-shirt/36386.md?page=3)