# I opened a bottle of... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687 "2006-01-19T18:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/1 "2006-01-19T18:27:24Z")
…carbonated water when I was thirsty this morning. Unfortunately, at the time I was at the gym and running on the treadmill. Relatedly, it is impossible to instantly crawl into a hole and die when the floors are carpeted concrete. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/2 "2006-01-19T18:34:13Z")
Did it ruin the machine, or give you a surprise bath? ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/3 "2006-01-19T18:36:15Z")
> [@TwoTrouts](#): > > Did it ruin the machine, or give you a surprise bath? Surprise bath. Shower, actually. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life. And there were pretty women there (moan). :smack: :mad: :smack: :mad: :smack: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/4 "2006-01-19T18:37:07Z")
Did it _Old Faithful_ when you opened it or when you drank some? Hopefully you hosed everyone around you down like the restaurant patron from The Meaning Of Life? ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/5 "2006-01-19T18:39:07Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Did it _Old Faithful_ when you opened it or when you drank some? Hopefully you hosed everyone around you down like the restaurant patron from The Meaning Of Life? I didn’t get to drink any of it. It was an instant, immersive topical application of pressured water accompanied by a shhhsshhhhhPASH sound. Somehow, doing something this stupid at a gym is almost worse than in church. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/6 "2006-01-19T18:40:39Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Did it _Old Faithful_ when you opened it or when you drank some? Hopefully you hosed everyone around you down like the restaurant patron from The Meaning Of Life? Do you mean… [Mr. Creosote](http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/mol/jpgs/vi-vomit.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/7 "2006-01-19T18:45:23Z")
I did something similar. I put my water bottle down on a machine (abductor machine) and adjusted the seat and everything and then went to sit, forgetting about my water bottle. I just though I squished it until I realized that I had left it open, causing a fountain-like spray of water to shoot overhead. I am such an idiot sometimes :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/8 "2006-01-19T18:49:32Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > I did something similar. I put my water bottle down on a machine (abductor machine) and adjusted the seat and everything and then went to sit, forgetting about my water bottle. I just though I squished it until I realized that I had left it open, causing a fountain-like spray of water to shoot overhead. > > I am such an idiot sometimes :smack: Do you know what I mean about it being DOUBLY bad and awful to do something like that at a gym? I don’t know about you, but I am never very comfortable anyway when at the gym, so it hurts baby it hurts. In **HERE** _points to pride_. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/9 "2006-01-19T19:10:59Z")
At the gym here at work, they have a big sign that says “No large towels on the treadmills.” Somebody was looking at it and couldn’t figure out why, so I said, “No capes!” ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/10 "2006-01-19T19:15:36Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > At the gym here at work, they have a big sign that says “No large towels on the treadmills.” Somebody was looking at it and couldn’t figure out why, so I said, “No capes!” Hi-larious. That’s a good one. We have a ‘don’t yell’ policy, and strict ‘sanitize your machine’ policies. The dirty looks one gets when one forgets to wipe down the treadmill are murdrous. ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/11 "2006-01-19T19:16:59Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > At the gym here at work, they have a big sign that says “No large towels on the treadmills.” Somebody was looking at it and couldn’t figure out why, so I said, “No capes!” Hi-larious. That’s a good one. We have a ‘don’t yell’ policy (that I violated in the above instance), and strict ‘sanitize your machine’ policies (that I accidentally followed in the above instance). The dirty looks one gets when one forgets to wipe down the treadmill are murdrous. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/12 "2006-01-19T20:19:53Z")
> [@Goblin Shark Proboscis](#): > > Hi-larious. That’s a good one. > > We have a ‘don’t yell’ policy (that I violated in the above instance), and strict ‘sanitize your machine’ policies (that I accidentally followed in the above instance). The dirty looks one gets when one forgets to wipe down the treadmill are murdrous. I’m probably asking the wrong question, but what exactly is there to sanitize on a treadmill? On a weight bench or a mat, obviously, I’m going spray and wipe that off. But a treadmill is kind of like the floor. It really doesn’t matter that much. I wouldn’t wipe down the basketball court after using that. And the two buttons that I may touch “Start” and “Stop” aren’t really going to get all that bad, either. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/13 "2006-01-19T20:22:33Z")
**amarinth** , we sanitize the treadmills at our gym too–mostly the handrails, but sometimes the screenpads too–with some cleanser and a handful of paper towel. It doesn’t really do anything, I agree, but it’s a nice gesture to the next person all the same. **Goblin Shark Proboscis** , I like your user posts. Stick around a while. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/14 "2006-01-19T21:28:01Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > **amarinth** , we sanitize the treadmills at our gym too–mostly the handrails, but sometimes the screenpads too–with some cleanser and a handful of paper towel. It doesn’t really do anything, I agree, but it’s a nice gesture to the next person all the same. > > **Goblin Shark Proboscis** , I like your user posts. Stick around a while. 😉 Yes - treadmill sanitization is a major must at our gym… total wipedown of anything you may have touched with hannies. **Kythereia** , I’ve never been winked at before, but then again, I look like [this](http://www.fishbase.org/images/species/Miows_m0.jpg) . Not the whole head, just the pointy part. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/15 "2006-01-20T00:19:06Z")
> [@Goblin Shark Proboscis](#): > > Do you know what I mean about it being DOUBLY bad and awful to do something like that at a gym? I don’t know about you, but I am never very comfortable anyway when at the gym, so it hurts baby it hurts. In **HERE** _points to pride_. I totally feel your pain. And then I had to finish my workout looking like I peed myself, or had the most major case of bumsweat - neither is really good. I was just starting to feel comfortable there too. Obviously I can never go back 😉 I do have a great story. A girl I know was running on the treadmill and noticed this cutie guy. She was trying to run sexily and get him to notice her. He did. Right after her foot caught the side rail and she face-planted on the keypad. Then, of course because the thing wasn’t off, she went flying off the back, nose bloody. Shock of shocks, he DID NOT ask her out. ---
**Author:** ![Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Goblin\_Shark\_Proboscis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goblin_Shark_Proboscis)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-opened-a-bottle-of/340687/16 "2006-01-20T00:55:06Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > Right after her foot caught the side rail and she face-planted on the keypad… Far out. Only thing worse… Farting on the bench. “Okay, working out… just working it all out…” _leaves_