# I overheard the wrong part of that conversation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508 "2011-05-11T12:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/1 "2011-05-11T12:54:18Z")
It might be because I sit right by the main aisle, but I always overhear random things. The one promting this thread I heard yesterday: Guy 1 - . . . he managed to ram it all in her several times. Guy 2 - Yup, leave it to him to find a way to do that. šŸ˜• Earlier this week two people walked by and I heard, ā€œ. . . but that wasnā€™t the first time I kissed that chair.ā€ It was pretty clear; I donā€™t think I misheard it. Even if I had, what did they actually say? šŸ˜•šŸ˜• Maybe I should get a tape recorder and make an album. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/2 "2011-05-11T13:03:21Z")
These are easy. The first case was a guy talking about his sheep. Heā€™s a breeder. The second is a member of an orchestra trying to schmooze his way into a better part. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/3 "2011-05-11T13:03:58Z")
There is a [website](http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/) for you to put these things. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/4 "2011-05-11T13:05:40Z")
My winner in this category involves coming in on the end of a story at a party; the speaker refused to repeat the story for me: ā€œā€¦and I looked down, and there was a chocolate-covered graham cracker stuck between my toes.ā€ A friend of mine has a better overheard fragment, which we would both love to know the context for: ā€œā€¦and if you shoot soap up into it, your arm will explode!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/5 "2011-05-11T13:43:53Z")
The other day as I was walking out of my local cell phone store, I could have sworn I heard someone at the counter say, ā€œAnd if you have a cell phone, you can talk to Jesus!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/6 "2011-05-11T15:55:52Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > ā€œā€¦and I looked down, and there was a chocolate-covered graham cracker stuck between my toes.ā€ Easy, they were talking about camping safety and why you wear shoes when making sā€™mores. Or why you donā€™t do firewalking on regular campfires. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/7 "2011-05-11T16:04:51Z")
I teach college, and one of my classes this semester was a long, 3-hour class. I would generally give the students a ten-minute break in the middle, so they could go out and stretch their legs, grab a drink, use the bathroom, etc. A few weeks ago, almost everyone was back in their seat ready for the second half of the class, and the last two students walked in talking. One of them is pretty loud, and the class was pretty quiet, and all we hard as she came in the door was: ā€œā€¦and his testicles were still intact.ā€ There was a stunned silence in the classroom, then everyone started laughing, until the student explained that she was talking about a cat-neutering service. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/8 "2011-05-11T17:00:58Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > ā€œā€¦and if you shoot soap up into it, your arm will explode!ā€ I can make jokes out of most of these. But this one is so surreal that Iā€™m at a loss. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/9 "2011-05-11T17:12:05Z")
ā€œIf it werenā€™t for my horseā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/10 "2011-05-11T17:21:40Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > ā€œIf it werenā€™t for my horseā€¦ā€ This one drives me crazy and will forever. And I will never find out what it means. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/11 "2011-05-11T22:12:47Z")
Iā€™d like to have a list of bizarro things to say just as someone is entering an elevatorā€¦ is that evil of me? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/12 "2011-05-11T23:03:38Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Iā€™d like to have a list of bizarro things to say just as someone is entering an elevatorā€¦ is that evil of me? Not at all. I have a list of things that one can do in an elevator just to feak other people out. Like, as soon as the other person gets in you can say, ā€œGreetings, honored guest. I am called the Admiral, and I am the lord of all that you see here,ā€ at this point you turn to the back of the elevator and gesture to encompass the imaginary land back there. You then proceed to pretend like the other person is some kind of ambassador or something and youā€™re having a conversation with him or her. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/13 "2011-05-11T23:35:56Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Iā€™d like to have a list of bizarro things to say just as someone is entering an elevatorā€¦ is that evil of me? Itā€™s not any more evil than the rest of us hereā€¦ [sub]uh-oh[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jrtexgunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jrtexgunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jrtexgunner)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/14 "2011-05-12T00:38:48Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > This one drives me crazy and will forever. And I will never find out what it means. Seriously? Classic Lewis Black. Google it. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/15 "2011-05-12T01:51:11Z")
**Nigel Rees** had a book of these called [Eavesdroppings](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eavesdroppings-Nigel-Rees/dp/004827044X). My favourite was a guy walking across a quadrangle in Oxford, and there are two Dons in animated discussion walking past him, one ticking points off his fingers. As they pass all he hears is ā€œā€¦ and ninthly ā€¦ā€. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/16 "2011-05-12T02:02:08Z")
Someone at my school set up a facebook thread for this sort of thing. Here are some of the ones Iā€™ve contributed: ā€œā€¦that wasnā€™t a woman, that was a guy wearing a suit with a pirate hook carrying a briefcase.ā€ ā€œā€¦my ex-girlfriend thought I was getting with a mermaid.ā€ ā€œā€¦16-inch long vaginaā€¦ā€ ā€œā€¦Chris, you would kill your kid if it was a girl, right?ā€ ā€œWhat we need is a healthy dance-down.ā€ ā€œā€¦I tried to get him to dance with the girl with the broken leg and I was going to take the guy in the wheelchair, but it turned out that there was an 80-year-old man behind me so I grinded on himā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/17 "2011-05-12T02:22:05Z")
Thank you for reminding me of the, ā€œtwo minute ruleā€. I donā€™t know if the concept exists elsewhere, but in my old circle of friends, if you walked in on a crazy conversation after about two minutes, we were not backing up to explain it to you. I started writing down our best ones in a ratty old notebook. Iā€™ll go get it. šŸ™‚ ā€¦and we were running down the street, chasing after his ballsā€¦ Aphrodite was the one with the removable breasts. I vibrated all the way home. If you pick him up and shake him, his butt rattles! Person 1: Did it smell like a dead person or a dead animal? Person 2: I donā€™t know, I donā€™t go around sniffing corpses. Donā€™t be boring, just donā€™t ask me to sing to my vagina. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/18 "2011-05-12T14:30:15Z")
> [@jrtexgunner](#): > > Seriously? Classic Lewis Black. Google it. Thank you for the unnecessary snarkiness. I know what it _is_. Duh. ā€œIf it werenā€™t for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college.ā€ But like Mr. Black says, what does she mean? Did she ride the horse to college? Did she sell the horse to pay for tuition? How is it related? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/19 "2011-05-12T14:54:55Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Iā€™d like to have a list of bizarro things to say just as someone is entering an elevatorā€¦ is that evil of me? Two friends of mine were in an elevator once and when someone else entered one of them casually said to the other, ā€œWell, I knew there was going to be a human sacrifice, but I didnā€™t expect so much _blood_!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508/20 "2011-05-12T15:12:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ā€œIf it werenā€™t for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college.ā€ But like Mr. Black says, what does she mean? Did she ride the horse to college? Did she sell the horse to pay for tuition? How is it related? I had never seen this quote before, but its meaning is readily apparent to me, probably because I have a friend who takes horseback riding very seriously, to the point where she is willing to pay to have her horse kept at a ranch near her school just so she can ride it after classes. The snippet of the quote suggests that the woman absolutely hated her classes / her dormitory / her lack of friends / whatever, but loved spending time with her horse. If she hadnā€™t had her horse with her, she imagines that she would have dropped out of school from the misery. Nothing mysterious about this, Mr. Black. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-overheard-the-wrong-part-of-that-conversation/581508.md?page=2)