# I own a restaurant. Can I fire a waiter due to his off-putting mannerisms? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 8, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389 "2013-03-08T15:39:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/81 "2013-03-16T16:07:23Z")
> [@Frumpy\_Jones](#): > > …So, if your username here cannot be attached to you in the REAL WORLD, just go and fire them both and just tell them that their service isn’t up to snuff for you and that is that. > > However, if they can find this thread and recognize you, you can be in for a world of pain… Actually, I’ve wondered about that. I will post a query in ATMB on SD policy, and a different one here, as to its legal value and admissibility (amateur piercing of anonymity by lawyers). ---
**Author:** ![sidhechaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sidhechaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidhechaos)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/82 "2013-03-17T21:07:29Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Here’s how it works, you can fire him, either way. Usually they get the jerkiest manager to pick a fight, or screw the schedule and shifts around till they quit, or just wait for them to make an error, which will happen. Break a dish, annoy a customer, whatever. Just that easy, truly. > > There is no such thing as job security in the service business. I had an employer who at end of day would give you a written for being late.(whether you were or not) With no timeclock and it being nine hours later, his word against the employee. he’d do this one day a week for three weeks and on the third time fire someone. this was his way of weeding out women who wouldn’t put up with his grabby hands.:mad: I got a camera that shows date/time on the pic and would photograph myself next to the clock in the lobby every morning to protect myself from that shit, not to mention he got less grabby when everyone started keeping their cell phones at hand to try and catch him in the act of copping a feel.😛 but yeah, the truth is unless you have the money and time for an attorney, you generally don’t stand a chance. I lost that job the day after I got hit by a car. someone else was working it when I got out of the hospital a week later, despite my having had vacation time to cover it, and it’s not like data entry isn’t a job you can’t get a temp for until the employee can come back. Every attny I talked to said it would cost way more than I could afford.:(. This was just after the clinton family leave and medical act too. shame about what happened to the douchebag a few months later, the cops got a tip he had a trunk full of weed and busted him **at work.** (turns out weed is cheaper than lawyers and having a cousin on the force is handy)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/83 "2013-03-17T21:15:42Z")
If I were you, I’d remove the part where I jokingly implied that I’d committed a felony to get back at my old boss. You’ve got maybe another 5 minutes to do that. ---
**Author:** ![kaemicha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@kaemicha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaemicha)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/84 "2013-03-17T21:46:30Z")
I would think that, in most all states, if you fire someone because of their showing gay mannerisms you could lose your business licence but I don’t know that for a fact. Can’t you just talk to the guy and ask him to tone it down? And then, that might get you in trouble, too. To be on the safe side, I’d talk to the EEOC. They were of great help to me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/85 "2013-03-17T22:06:06Z")
If you live in an employ at-will state, you can fire someone for any reason or no reason so long as it isn’t a protected reason like sex, age, race, etc. And it’s not like we are talking about firing the vice president of a company here. This is a low-level service job in an industry with a high turnover. > [@kaemicha](#): > > I would think that, in most all states, if you fire someone because of their showing gay mannerisms you could lose your business licence but I don’t know that for a fact. Can’t you just talk to the guy and ask him to tone it down? And then, that might get you in trouble, too. To be on the safe side, I’d talk to the EEOC. They were of great help to me. I think it depends on the “gay mannerism” in question. Does he talk with a bit of an effeminate lisp, or is he breaking into hysterics at the drop of a hat like Nathan Lane in The Birdcage? > [@JerseySwamps](#): > > +1 for the user name/post combo > > Do you release the hounds on them as well? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/86 "2013-03-17T22:48:28Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > …considering the large number of thoughtful replies … I can fix that for you! How many straight waiters on the North Side of Chicago does it take to screw in a light bulb? Both of them! I got a million of 'em, I does. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/87 "2013-03-17T23:49:54Z")
> [@kaemicha](#): > > I would think that, in most all states, if you fire someone because of their showing gay mannerisms you could lose your business licence but I don’t know that for a fact. Can’t you just talk to the guy and ask him to tone it down? And then, that might get you in trouble, too. To be on the safe side, I’d talk to the EEOC. They were of great help to me. Remember, this is a hypothetical. If you’re been running a restaurant in the US for more than 6 months, you’ve already employed a dozen gay male servers. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/88 "2013-03-18T13:54:59Z")
> [@kaemicha](#): > > I would think that, in most all states, if you fire someone because of their showing gay mannerisms you could lose your business licence but I don’t know that for a fact. Can’t you just talk to the guy and ask him to tone it down? And then, that might get you in trouble, too. To be on the safe side, I’d talk to the EEOC. They were of great help to me. Welcome to the SDMB. Having said that, this forum is called General Questions, and they try to stick to facts here rather than guesses. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/89 "2013-03-21T14:30:36Z")
> [@Mr.Slant](#): > > Remember, this is a hypothetical. > If you’re been running a restaurant in the US for more than 6 months, you’ve already employed a dozen gay male servers. In discrimination cases, the fact that you have other employees who are X is not an adequate defense against someone claiming you fired them for being X. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389/90 "2013-03-21T18:06:11Z")
I get that-- my post was letting another poster know that in the real world, no restaurant owner would have this question. Whole thing is a hypothetical, thus suggestions to the OP aren’t helpful; answers contribute to the discussion, but actual solutions short of answering the OP’s question aren’t constructive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-own-a-restaurant-can-i-fire-a-waiter-due-to-his-off-putting-mannerisms/652389.md?page=4)