# I passed my polygraph! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367 "2007-05-16T20:38:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/1 "2007-05-16T20:38:37Z")
I think I passed my polygraph for my Top Secret security clearance. My coworkers who both failed knew when they left that they failed. I was told “well, if there any problems we would have discussed them, but your charts were pretty consistent. They have to be passed by QA.” So … I _think_ I passed. What does this mean to me? Well, as far as I can tell, I’ll get bragging rights at the office. We aren’t currently doing anything that needs top secret clearance, so I guess it won’t make a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/2 "2007-05-16T20:43:33Z")
You’re lying! I can tell! Er, I mean congratulations. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/3 "2007-05-16T20:54:51Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] I think I passed my polygraph for my Top Secret security clearance. [/QUOTE] What agency is issuing your clearance? I haven’t known of anyone who had to take a polygraph in order to have one issued. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/4 "2007-05-16T21:02:43Z")
What were you asked, if it’s okay for me to inquire? I wonder what your coworkers could have had to lie about that wouldn’t show up in a drug or background check. (Assuming the test was accurate, which I don’t.) I didn’t have to take one to get a Secret Clearance to work for the Navy, but I had to take one as a 17 year old to work as a bank teller. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/5 "2007-05-16T21:18:41Z")
I assume your post is regarding [this article](http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/we_have_new_intelligence) I read recently in the news? > [@](#): > > Hear me, gentlemen: Everyone here can be trusted. And we all must work together for the next few days, and work feverishly, if we are to prevent any further damage to the Department. All other assignments are now tertiary to what we’re about to undertake. For the news is worse than I could have believed. > > Gentlemen, we must operate under the assumption that Mei-Ling’s beloved fiancé is in fact our adversary—my estranged and devious half brother, the infamous Paladiev. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/6 "2007-05-16T21:20:46Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] What were you asked, if it’s okay for me to inquire? I wonder what your coworkers could have had to lie about that wouldn’t show up in a drug or background check. (Assuming the test was accurate, which I don’t.) I didn’t have to take one to get a Secret Clearance to work for the Navy, but I had to take one as a 17 year old to work as a bank teller. [/QUOTE] I did not take one for my Secret Clearance. This was required for my Top Secret clearance. The asked about my drug use, federal crimes, and crimes against the government (spying, trying to overthrow, etc.) I am pretty sure my coworkers didn’t lie - both admitted to doing drugs. But the man giving me the test told me not to over-analyze and I suspect both of my coworkers did. According to him, this will cause you to doubt yourself and that will show up in the responses. Since I had no drug history I had nothing to over-analyze. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/7 "2007-05-16T22:57:50Z")
Yeah, but when do you get your “I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you” clearance? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/8 "2007-05-16T23:25:59Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] I did not take one for my Secret Clearance. This was required for my Top Secret clearance. [/QUOTE] So when do you get your super duper secret clearance? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lonih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4af34b/32.png) [@lonih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lonih)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/9 "2007-05-16T23:50:12Z")
It’s all in knowing what your answer will be. Wondering what to answer will trigger a bad chart before you even answer. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/10 "2007-05-16T23:59:49Z")
Part of the responsibility that comes with getting a TS is being able to keep your mouth shut about it. Don’t brag or tell everyone you know about it. Or go on an internet message board to tell the world. Just my 2 bits. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/11 "2007-05-17T00:02:25Z")
[QUOTE=Stinkpalm] Part of the responsibility that comes with getting a TS is being able to keep your mouth shut about it. Don’t brag or tell everyone you know about it. Or go on an internet message board to tell the world. Just my 2 bits. [/QUOTE] LOL. They are \*very \*specific about what I should and shouldn’t do. They didn’t tell me not to mention having it. But when you become my security officer, I’ll take your opinion under advisement. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/12 "2007-05-17T00:26:58Z")
Would now be a good place to point out that polygraphs are about as accurate at finding lies as coin flips? I don’t mean this to disparage the OP… You want to get clearance, obviously you have to jump through the hoops they choose, no matter how silly. But it does make me nervous that the people who are supposed to be keeping this country secure are putting any credence in something as fallible as a polygraph “lie detector”. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/13 "2007-05-17T00:55:14Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] LOL. They are \*very \*specific about what I should and shouldn’t do. They didn’t tell me not to mention having it. But when you become my security officer, I’ll take your opinion under advisement. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure if you missed my question or not. I will leave you alone if you’d rather not answer. But just in case, I wanted to try again. Who is issuing your clearance? I’m curious because I’ve never heard of having to pass a polygraph in order to get one. Congratulations, by the way! ---
**Author:** ![DustyButt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc348/32.png) [@DustyButt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DustyButt)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/14 "2007-05-17T03:23:33Z")
Congrats, but you really shouldn’t be on a messaging board saying that. They do tell you not to say anything, unless you weren’t listening at the clearance briefing. Great. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dbuzman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de0a6/32.png) [@dbuzman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbuzman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/15 "2007-05-17T04:51:15Z")
When I was in the Navy, I didn’t have to take a polygraph when I first got my top secret clearance. After a couple cases of people getting caught giving stuff to other countries they instituted random polygraphs. Maybe they polygraph all people in addition to the background checks, etc. before they get TS now. I never did have to take one before I got out which kind of disappointed me because I was curious how I would have done. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-passed-my-polygraph/404367/16 "2007-05-17T10:56:50Z")
[QUOTE=Asimovian] I’m not sure if you missed my question or not. I will leave you alone if you’d rather not answer. But just in case, I wanted to try again. Who is issuing your clearance? I’m curious because I’ve never heard of having to pass a polygraph in order to get one. Congratulations, by the way! [/QUOTE] The man who was administering the polygraph was from the NSA. I know several people who have had their top secret clearance (it is not uncommon at all in the software industry) and they had to take a polygraph - one woman had hers in the 80s. Are you sure the people you know weren’t getting just a secret clearance? [QUOTE=Chronos] Would now be a good place to point out that polygraphs are about as accurate at finding lies as coin flips? I don’t mean this to disparage the OP… You want to get clearance, obviously you have to jump through the hoops they choose, no matter how silly. But it does make me nervous that the people who are supposed to be keeping this country secure are putting any credence in something as fallible as a polygraph “lie detector”. [/QUOTE] Agreed. Totally. As I mentioned upthread, my boss and another coworker failed theirs (twice) and I am pretty certain that they both told the full truth. You see, they won’t fail you for having done drugs, they will fail you for not disclosing it. But both of these men admitted to having done drugs. But then it gets complicated: nailing down all the times that drugs were done. That is when they started to get flustered. (Did I remember \*this \*time, did I remember \*that \*time?) I confess though that I was impressed when they showed me my practice test. They went through the days “Is today Sunday?” “No”. When it came to Wednesday (the day I took it) neither my heart rate nor my breathing wavered on the lie, but my sweat glands did respond. I was surprised. It was an interesting process. But to your point Chronos, I believe that a polygraph is a useless measure for national security.