# I Pit Amazing Grace Baptist Church **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 23, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908 "2009-10-23T22:34:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/301 "2009-10-30T00:44:54Z")
Did you just make a StraightDope Mafia Reference? If so, that’s just awesome! Or am I not catching this reference to perhaps some intellectual thing? ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/302 "2009-10-30T07:27:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Why did I do it? > What did it get me? > Papyruses full of me in the byline > Give him devotion and what does it get you? > They get Gospels and you’re tried for treason > All your life and what does it get ya? > Thanks a lot now the boat to Rome’s this way > He’s a God and you’re a misogynistic nutcase. > “I had a dream! I dreamed it for you Gentiles! > It wasn’t for me Peter! > And if it wasn’t for me > Just where would you be? > Je-sus of Galilee!” > > * * * > > Well someone tell me when is it my turn? > Don’t I get a dream for myself? > Startin’ now it’s gonna be my turn > stand back Rome get off of my via > startin’ now I bat a thousand > this time Jews I’m taking the bows and > Everything’s coming up ham! > Everything’s comin’ up pork chops and sausages, > everything’s comin’ up shrimp balls and lobster tails > everything’s comin’ up wabbit and camel cheese > this time for meeeeeee! > This time for meeeeeeeat! > FOR MEAAAAAAAAAT!" BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…PERFECTION!!! Sondhiem would be very proud. Oh, and I’m such a Broadway geek I heard Patti Lupone singing this. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/303 "2009-10-30T12:25:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Heh. My uniform was nowhere NEAR like that. (Of course, I was thirteen when I graduated, then I went to public school. Our’s were butt-ugly) > I was raised Catholic, and I’m now lapsed. However, for awhile now, I’ve been wanting to go to [Christ Hope Church](http://www.christhope.com/). Basically, it was founded by an excommunicated priest – who happens to be a cousin of mine – when he started advocating for married and women priests. [This is basically their philosophy](http://www.christhope.com/id4.html). I think #14 applies to our friend **Curtis**. > Oh, and **Equipoise** , this is just a pet peeve of mine – but nobody really thought that the [Earth was flat](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_earth#History_of_Western_ideas). They did, however, at one time believe that the Sun revolved around the Earth! Augustine in The City Of GOd states that it is impossible for the earth to be round. So somebody once did :). ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/304 "2009-10-30T12:27:42Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > This’ll be the last post I make in this thread. However I shall keep this thread as proof of how assholish and intolerant some atheists and “gay rights” advocates are compared to fundamentalists at least on the Internet. Check out the Christian Forum’s Fundamentalist subforum for comparison. > > The only “anti-gay” measure I might vote for a bill against gay marriage. I support domestic partnerships which is basically marriage except the title which has satisfied virtually everyone except extremnists who distract us in more pressing issues. Just have domestic partnerships and let the issue die! > What about Billy Graham? Do you think he is going to Hell? Or Moses who wrote the Leviticus laws which condemn all sorts of things and make it punishable by death. > > You do not understand. I do not hate homosexuals nor any other type of sinner and neither obviously does God. > > The former; I don’t care soldiers are homosexual or not. > However the Bible has nothing to say about the above two while God has said all men and women are spirtually equal before Him. > > Jesus did approve of divorce for adultery. > > There are sinners because it is human nature to sin. If God created humans to sin the fault is His not humans. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/305 "2009-10-30T12:50:54Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > So the douchebag is the Winston Wolf of the Menstrual Mafia… Precisely ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/306 "2009-10-30T12:53:11Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > If God created humans to sin the fault is His not humans. I’ve always taken a children outlook. We as sinners are ‘children’ we will continue to make mistakes through our naive innocence and wicked selfishness, that salvation lies in the corrections of our childish mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/307 "2009-10-30T14:42:33Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > So we can do pretty much anything we like and justify it scripturally if we say that “somewhere along the line somebody said that Jesus said it was okay” without need of proof or further cite or discussion? I’m so terrible sorry it’s inconvenient for you that an atheist doesn’t keep a Bible in her desk at work to pull out for citations in Pit threads. That must be so frustrating. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I think you got that quote backwards. :smack: Completely and utterly backwards. > [@mswas](#): > > I am not interested in hearing about how angry and butthurt someone is that they can’t get married and straight people can every time we discuss the theology of it. If he wants to discuss the theology of it fine. If he wants to whine about how life is unfair he should start a thread. I won’t participate. It’s unfair, I agree, but we don’t need to hijack every discussion of Christian theology and its relationship to sex to talk about how unfair it is that straight people can marry and gay people cannot. It had nothing to do with “fair” and “unfair”–you were expecting a certain argument, so you skimmed right past the point that was made. Which is, since you apparently missed it… \*\*If \*\*homosexuality is a sin, it is no worse than any other sin, such as, say, masturbation, seeing as Jesus never once called it out, when he did make mention of many other points he found important. However, for \*\*cultural \*\*reasons, it has picked up special emphasis, such that homosexuality can be cause to completely exclude a person from a religious community, in a way that Jesus almost certainly never intended, given his own track record of spending a hell of a lot of time hanging out with sinners. So, Jesus had dinner with tax collectors and prostitutes, and very few religious officials would refuse to marry you if you admitted you masturbate, but if you have sex with or even date a person of the same gender, there’s a good chance you’ll be forced out of the community or at least ostracized, and don’t even think about asking to get married to somebody you love so that you can follow God’s command to only have sex inside a committed, permanent relationship. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/308 "2009-10-30T14:45:24Z")
**Shot From Guns** As I said, I am uninterested in the hijack you are so desperately trying to cultivate. We can talk about the underlying theology or we can talk about gay marriage. If you mention gay marriage AT ALL, I will not respond. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/309 "2009-10-30T14:55:24Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I’m so terrible sorry it’s inconvenient for you that an atheist doesn’t keep a Bible in her desk at work to pull out for citations in Pit threads. That must be so frustrating. Let me help you. [http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/21st-Century-King-James-Version-KJ21-Bible/#booklist](http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/21st-Century-King-James-Version-KJ21-Bible/#booklist) > **[American Standard Version (ASV) - Version Information - BibleGateway.com](https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/American-Standard-Version-ASV-Bible/)** > **[Amplified Bible (AMP) - Version Information - BibleGateway.com](https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Amplified-Bible-AMP/)** > **[New International Version (NIV) - Version Information - BibleGateway.com](https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/)** > **[Unbound Bible Project - Biola University](https://www.biola.edu/talbot/unbound)** > > Find Bible translation and study resources, as well as related programs and resources from Biola University. The Unbound Bible translation tool has been discontinued due to maintenance costs. > **[Bible Search and Study Tools - Blue Letter Bible](https://www.blueletterbible.org/)** > > Read and study God's Word with Bible study software that has in-depth resources such as commentaries, Greek and Hebrew word tools, concordances, and more. [http://bible.org/netbible/index.htm](http://bible.org/netbible/index.htm) > **[Free Bible Software by johnhurt.com - Index - Download Web-Based Free Bible...](http://www.htmlbible.com/)** > > The HTML Bible is free Bible software in a web-based format. If you can surf the web you can use this online Bible software. There is a Speaking Bible that uses Microsoft Agent technology a Bible Dictionary a Bible Concordance an online Bible search... > **[Home](https://www.onlinebible.org/)** [http://e-sword.net/](http://e-sword.net/) (have to download, but free) [http://bibledatabase.com/index.php](http://bibledatabase.com/index.php) (same deal) > **[Books of the Bible](https://bible.usccb.org/bible)** > > Daily Bible Readings, Podcast Audio and Videos and Prayers brought to you by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. [http://www.ethnicharvest.org/bibles/navajo.htm](http://www.ethnicharvest.org/bibles/navajo.htm) (in case you want it in Navajo) [Audio Bible Online](http://www.audio-bible.com/bible/) (in case you can’t read) [Codex Sinaiticus - Home](http://www.codexsinaiticus.org/en/) (great for the ancient Greek) If you need more, let me know. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/310 "2009-10-30T15:26:54Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I’m so terrible sorry it’s inconvenient for you that an atheist doesn’t keep a Bible in her desk at work to pull out for citations in Pit threads. That must be so frustrating. It’s alright this time but don’t let it happen again. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/311 "2009-10-30T15:41:41Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I’m so terrible sorry it’s inconvenient for you that an atheist doesn’t keep a Bible in her desk at work to pull out for citations in Pit threads. That must be so frustrating. I don’t carry a Bible in my desk, either, and I’m Christian! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/312 "2009-10-30T16:06:21Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > **Shot From Guns** As I said, I am uninterested in the hijack you are so desperately trying to cultivate. We can talk about the underlying theology or we can talk about gay marriage. If you mention gay marriage AT ALL, I will not respond. We \*\*are \*\*talking about the underlying theology, and one of the main thrusts of this fuckign thread is same-sex marriage. Are you just \*\*completely \*\*not paying attention? > [@bup](#): > > Let me help you. None of those is a **physical Bible** , which is my point. Have you ever tried to skim a large document on the internet? It doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/313 "2009-10-30T16:47:09Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > I’ve always taken a children outlook. We as sinners are ‘children’ we will continue to make mistakes through our naive innocence and wicked selfishness, that salvation lies in the corrections of our childish mistakes. What corrections are those? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/314 "2009-10-30T17:50:38Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > What corrections are those? You mean God’s never made you grab a corner? Or when you’re really bad he’s never sent Jesus after you with an extension cord? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/315 "2009-10-30T18:35:10Z")
**Shot From Guns** , first your cite was twenty ( _ **!** _ ) years of Catholic school. Then you act like nobody should expect you to know your shit because you’re atheist and don’t have a bible. I’ll give everybody a moment to cognitively dissociate those two claims. _plays a soothing public domain instrumental on twelve-string_ Ready? Now your claim is that the only way you can research is to have a physical book to _skim_. \*Specifically \*in reference to your getting the “Sabbath was made for man…” quote wrong. Really? That’s the big problem? It’s not that you’re reflexively defending bullshit because you’re the one who spouted it? Really? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/316 "2009-10-30T18:57:41Z")
[Bible Gateway](http://www.biblegateway.com/). Fully searchable, in 20 English versions. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/317 "2009-10-30T19:53:32Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > [Bible Gateway](http://www.biblegateway.com/). Fully searchable, in 20 English versions. Is it the _expurgated_ version? (The one without the pomegranate…) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/318 "2009-10-30T19:54:55Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Is it the _expurgated_ version? (The one without the pomegranate…) I don’t like pomegranates. They gel their seeds… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/319 "2009-10-30T20:01:09Z")
The verse incidentally (bolded- the others for context): > [@](#): > > 23 One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. > 24 The Pharisees said to him, “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” > 25 He answered, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? > 26 In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” > 27 Then he said to them, **"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.** > 28 So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath." That was New International Version. The Really New American Version is slightly different. > [@](#): > > 23 One Sunday Jesus and friends were walking through some farmland when the Apostles said “Cool, Mueslix!” and began to eat. > 24 The Pharisees, who for some unknown reason happened to be standing in a grainfield at that precise moment, said “Um, excuse me! Blue Laws… you’ve heard of 'em maybe?” > 25 He answered, “Yeah, King David, you’ve heard of him maybe? > 26 When Abiathar was high priest David and his buds entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And then said, 'Yo amigos, you gotta try some Priesty Snacks!” > 27 Then he said to them, “You get hungry on Sunday, you eat on Sunday, and what are y’all doing in a grainfield on Sunday anyway when you’re supposed to be at home? > 28 So chill bitches.” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908/320 "2009-10-30T20:13:48Z")
Well, sure, but you’re a gay Alabaman, so you have multiple _ **physical bibles** _ to [del]find[/del] skim for that kinda shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-amazing-grace-baptist-church/514908.md?page=17)