# I pit APPLES! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854 "2013-05-08T23:47:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shooby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Shooby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shooby)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/1 "2013-05-08T23:47:09Z")
Apples. In the world of fruits, they are the epitome of middle-of-the-road boring. A bit of sweet, a bit of tart, and a weird scratchy texture that has a hint of but no dedication to crispness. Yet at the local QFC (supermarket), they take up **2 full island displays out of 5!** There is a side aisle adjacent with vegetables as well, but 40% of the central display area for fruits and vegetables are just… apples. Sure, you can go on about different varieties. I know all about the stupid Fijis, McIntoshes, Granny Smiths, Galas, and Golden Delicious - awesome names, but just a massive cover-up to hide the slight variations on _bland_. The only apple worth a damn is the Honey Crisp, and even then it’s just on par in taste with an average pear. And it’s those poor pears and grapes and mangoes and berries and grapefruit that are all forced to jam themselves together in the 1-1.5 remaining island display area reserved for fruits. Some of these poor fruits don’t even make it… on any island. What have they done to deserve such an ignominious fate? Did they have too much flavor? Too much character? So tell me, what is with this apple fetishism that pervades our nation’s grocery stores? It’s a cabal of commonness, a pact of plainness, and they are in control of everything. Who decided that “it’s as American as apple pie”? \*They \*did, and we’ve all been brainwashed. But here’s what I say. Apples don’t have to rule our fruitstands just because they want it to be so. **Stand up for your kiwis, your pears, your tired plums, and your huddled kumquats! Let the appleocracy know that this will not stand!** ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/2 "2013-05-08T23:53:23Z")
Fruitist ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/3 "2013-05-09T00:11:55Z")
STFU. Honeycrisp. ---
**Author:** ![Shooby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Shooby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shooby)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/4 "2013-05-09T00:16:53Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > STFU. Honeycrisp. I gave Honeycrisp their due in the OP. Surely you’re not defending the others? Are you an apple apologist? An applogist? ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/5 "2013-05-09T00:17:20Z")
You know if it wasn’t for apples the bananas would take over. Think of the slipping. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/6 "2013-05-09T00:23:31Z")
[Sweet, tangy, juicy and flavorful, the apple is nature’s perfect treat, especially when you’re lucky enough to pick them straight off the tree in the fall. Plus, you can feel good about eating them—apples are low in calories and are a good source of fiber, particularly the soluble kind linked with heart health. Apples are great for snacking, but they are also versatile in the kitchen.](http://www.eatingwell.com/healthy_cooking/healthy_cooking_101/shopping_cooking_guides/apple_buyers_guide) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/7 "2013-05-09T00:28:39Z")
God, isn’t anyone else tired of the kumquat fanbois taking over all the damn fruit threads? Stupid platform wars. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/8 "2013-05-09T00:30:13Z")
Gala jihad! ---
**Author:** ![Alpine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpine/32/17813_2.png) [@Alpine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpine)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/9 "2013-05-09T00:34:24Z")
Maybe this doesn’t belong in this thread, but what is up with Red “Delicious” anyway? These have to be the worst apples in flavor and texture. Does anyone eat them? Why are they always the ones in the hotel breakfast bar? ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/10 "2013-05-09T00:41:02Z")
> [@Shooby](#): > > Are you an apple apologist? An applogist? I was about to write this thread off, but then this line happened. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/11 "2013-05-09T00:46:32Z")
I fucking hate apples. They are gross as hell. And cooked apples are even worse. Apple pie is the devil’s asshole. Fuck apples. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/12 "2013-05-09T00:47:10Z")
> [@Alpine](#): > > Maybe this doesn’t belong in this thread, but what is up with Red “Delicious” anyway? These have to be the worst apples in flavor and texture. Does anyone eat them? Why are they always the ones in the hotel breakfast bar? The Red Delicious is made of recycled cores and stems from much better tasting apples that were turned into juice and apple sauce. Getting you to eat them is cheaper then paying to have them incinerated or dumped in a landfill. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/13 "2013-05-09T01:00:20Z")
So…basically, you’re pitting apples for sucking…in their off-season? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/14 "2013-05-09T01:09:36Z")
> [@Shooby](#): > > I know all about the stupid Fijis Fujis. For those looking for a good tasting apple, might I recommend a Crispin (or a Mutsu, as they’re known some places). ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/15 "2013-05-09T01:22:46Z")
I am offended. Apples are my favorite fruit and I love the Fujis the most. Stupid pitting, and offensive to such a great fruit. And there is a difference. I notice a significant difference between Fujis and the other types. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/16 "2013-05-09T01:22:53Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > So…basically, you’re pitting apples for sucking…in their off-season? _They always suck_ :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/17 "2013-05-09T01:25:52Z")
> [@Shooby](#): > > Apples. > > In the world of fruits, they are the epitome of middle-of-the-road boring. A bit of sweet, a bit of tart, and a weird scratchy texture that has a hint of but no dedication to crispness. > > Yet at the local QFC (supermarket), they take up **2 full island displays out of 5!** There is a side aisle adjacent with vegetables as well, but 40% of the central display area for fruits and vegetables are just… apples. > > Sure, you can go on about different varieties. I know all about the stupid Fijis, McIntoshes, Granny Smiths, Galas, and Golden Delicious - awesome names, but just a massive cover-up to hide the slight variations on _bland_. The only apple worth a damn is the Honey Crisp, and even then it’s just on par in taste with an average pear. > > And it’s those poor pears and grapes and mangoes and berries and grapefruit that are all forced to jam themselves together in the 1-1.5 remaining island display area reserved for fruits. Some of these poor fruits don’t even make it… on any island. What have they done to deserve such an ignominious fate? Did they have too much flavor? Too much character? > > So tell me, what is with this apple fetishism that pervades our nation’s grocery stores? It’s a cabal of commonness, a pact of plainness, and they are in control of everything. Who decided that “it’s as American as apple pie”? \*They \*did, and we’ve all been brainwashed. > > But here’s what I say. Apples don’t have to rule our fruitstands just because they want it to be so. **Stand up for your kiwis, your pears, your tired plums, and your huddled kumquats! Let the appleocracy know that this will not stand!** The core of your argument has no merit. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/18 "2013-05-09T01:32:54Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > _They always suck_ :mad: You suck! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/19 "2013-05-09T01:44:11Z")
> [@Alpine](#): > > Maybe this doesn’t belong in this thread, but what is up with Red “Delicious” anyway? These have to be the worst apples in flavor and texture. Does anyone eat them? Why are they always the ones in the hotel breakfast bar? If you want a real answer ( hey, why not? ) it was because it was easily grown in Washington ( where it built that state’s apple empire ) and was very attractive visually which sold well. It was also apparently once a lot tastier when the first mutant was discovered in the late 19th century, but mass production with a focus on higher producing trees, prettier skin, larger size and improved storage qualities like thicker skin ultimately degraded flavor. By the 1980’s they were chewy, thick-skinned, globs of bland prettiness. And they started losing ground rapidly to the tastier apples, which now have largely but not entirely replaced them. But they’re still big and bright red so some folks still buy them. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854/20 "2013-05-09T01:46:14Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Fruitist I really did laugh out loud at this. I usually only like apples in the fall. And I never like Red Delicious apples. Nasty mushy flavorless blah. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-apples/657854.md?page=2)