# I pit assholes in movie theaters **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 29, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674 "2011-05-29T17:36:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/41 "2011-05-30T19:40:58Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > A couple years ago I had this guy take out his cell next to me and start texting. I leaned over and stared at his phone screen, watching what he was texting. He stopped and looked at me. I can’t remember exactly what I said, something like “You want everyone in the theater to know you’re texting, so I want to see what you’re writing that’s so important.” He put it away and I went back to looking at the screen. > > I’ll never understand people who put up with these jerks and suffer in silence. Nicely done. The problem for me is not telling people to shut the fuck up or not light up their phone screens every goddamn minute. It’s having to do it that puts me in Hulk mode. WTF, do I look like a theatre usher? Do you have to be told time and again to behave? I aint your fucking dad. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/42 "2011-05-30T20:26:12Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Nicely done. > > The problem for me is not telling people to shut the fuck up or not light up their phone screens every goddamn minute. It’s having to do it that puts me in Hulk mode. > WTF, do I look like a theatre usher? Do you have to be told time and again to behave? I aint your fucking dad. That’s right - there isn’t anyone over the age of five who doesn’t know that you are required to turn off your cellphones and not text during movies, but people still do it anyway. I call them Ruiners - they’re the 15% or so of humanity who like to ruin things for everyone, because the rules don’t apply to them (they think). ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/43 "2011-05-30T20:28:49Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Some sanctimonious weenie like bootypermama there would probably say you are infringing on their civil liberties. Who are you to force your rules on them goddammit!!! The guy next to you I’m not really concerned.. I draw the line somewhere between shooshing the person next to you and yelling at people across the theater. If you want to take responsibility for the whole theater get a job as an usher. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/44 "2011-05-30T20:42:56Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > The guy next to you I’m not really concerned.. I draw the line somewhere between shooshing the person next to you and yelling at people across the theater. > > If you want to take responsibility for the whole theater get a job as an usher. The trouble is: 1. You can see the lit-up screen from across the theater, and it is annoying, + 2. The ushers are difficult to find and in most cases will not do anything about the problem. Admittedly, it’s only been so bad that I’ve sought an usher maybe two or three times in the last 20 years, but each time it means leaving the film, going to the concession stand, asking them to find someone to deal with the problem, going back to the theater, and… maybe 20 minutes later a staff member might come in, but by that point I’ve lost ¼ of the film. And if I escalate, them _I’m_ the jerk, because 50 other patrons didn’t complain so how could it be a problem? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/45 "2011-05-30T20:43:55Z")
Hah, you assholes trying to watch a movie in peace. In a theater! You crack me up. I had a guy next to me stark jerking off during a particularly raunchy scene, and do you think I said anything? Hell no, I’m no usher. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/46 "2011-05-30T20:46:42Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Hah, you assholes trying to watch a movie in peace. In a theater! You crack me up. I had a guy next to me stark jerking off during a particularly raunchy scene, and do you think I said anything? If that’s a true story, you need to tell the tale. You cant just leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/47 "2011-05-30T20:53:34Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Hah, you assholes trying to watch a movie in peace. In a theater! You crack me up. I had a guy next to me stark jerking off during a particularly raunchy scene, and do you think I said anything? Hell no, I’m no usher. Experiencing catharsis is perfectly appropriate in the theatrical setting. As long as he was not providing a soundtrack or lighting to compete with the silver screen, no problem. Most people _sob_ quietly into a handkerchief, but I can be pretty tolerant as long as a guy’s cell phone stays in his pants. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/48 "2011-05-30T23:26:10Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > If that’s a true story, you need to tell the tale. You cant just leave it at that. Not knowing your age, you may not realize that prior to the videotape age, people went to theaters for their porn…and they would relieve themselves in the theater. I’m lucky enough to have just missed that period, being able to rent my porn from dirty back rooms in independent video rental stores. Unfortunately, the men who would relieve themselves in a theater would sometimes not wait to get their videotapes home…EEEEEWWWWW! ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/49 "2011-05-30T23:28:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I call them Ruiners - they’re the 15% or so of humanity who like to ruin things for everyone, because the rules don’t apply to them (they think). If only we could just shoot them and use the bodies for fertilizer. It would make the world a better place for the majority. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/50 "2011-05-31T00:16:33Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > The fact the OP takes it upon himself to enforce rules that are not his to enforce by yelling at other patrons. I consider most people who try to get their way by yelling at people assholes. Hmmmm…so I pay $20+ for movie tickets and have to put up with someone ruining the movie with a friggin’ cellphone. And yet _I’m_ the asshole because I call him out for it? Your focus is misplaced. It’s the clown with the cellphone that is being an asshole, not me. At least I’m not throwing that large soft drink at the back of his head, which I have seen happen. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/51 "2011-05-31T00:19:57Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > If only we could just shoot them and use the bodies for fertilizer. It would make the world a better place for the majority. It really would. Maybe plant a tree over each buried corpse. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/52 "2011-05-31T00:23:04Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > It really would. Maybe plant a tree over each buried corpse. We could solve global warming. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/53 "2011-05-31T01:09:18Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Hmmmm…so I pay $20+ for movie tickets and have to put up with someone ruining the movie with a friggin’ cellphone. And yet _I’m_ the asshole because I call him out for it? > > Your focus is misplaced. It’s the clown with the cellphone that is being an asshole, not me. At least I’m not throwing that large soft drink at the back of his head, which I have seen happen. I never said the cellphone users aren’t assholes, they are. In the asshole club there is plenty of room for the guy yelling in the theater. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/54 "2011-05-31T01:36:47Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > Not knowing your age, you may not realize that prior to the videotape age, people went to theaters for their porn…and they would relieve themselves in the theater. I’m lucky enough to have just missed that period, being able to rent my porn from dirty back rooms in independent video rental stores. Unfortunately, the men who would relieve themselves in a theater would sometimes not wait to get their videotapes home…EEEEEWWWWW! The story was meant to imply a regular theater. It’s fabricated in any case. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/55 "2011-05-31T02:06:55Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Depends on where and when you go. I know it’s insane, but I’ve seen 516 movies in the theater since Jan. 1, 2010 (that’s when I started keeping track movie-by-movie) and I rarely have any problems at all. A quick “shush” or staring pointedly at someone who’s looking at their cell phone screen does the trick those few times it’s necessary, but it’s so rarely necessary. That’s my experience too, though with much lower movie-going rates. I can only think of two times I had problems in a cinema. One when there were kids who were just being kids, shouting out ‘yay!’ and being more vocal than an adult audience would be, but it was just part of them enjoying the film… but their parents talked over even their kids’ yays. They seemed to have forgotten they were there to watch a film. Bearable anyway. The other time was at Toy Story (2, I think) in an afternoon midweek showing when my daughter happened to be the only child in the cinema and some of the other patrons were really annoyed at her doing normal kid things like calling out ‘Buzzzz!’ when he came onscreen at certain dramatic moments. They seemed to have forgotten they were there to watch a _kids’_ film. I did take her to films when she was a tiny baby, but I just breastfed her discreetly and then she slept. I doubt anyone realised she was there. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/56 "2011-05-31T02:21:40Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > That’s my experience too, though with much lower movie-going rates. I can only think of two times I had problems in a cinema. One when there were kids who were just being kids, shouting out ‘yay!’ and being more vocal than an adult audience would be, but it was just part of them enjoying the film… but their parents talked over even their kids’ yays. They seemed to have forgotten they were there to watch a film. Bearable anyway. > > The other time was at Toy Story (2, I think) in an afternoon midweek showing when my daughter happened to be the only child in the cinema and some of the other patrons were really annoyed at her **doing normal kid things like calling out ‘Buzzzz!’ when he came onscreen** at certain dramatic moments. They seemed to have forgotten they were there to watch a _kids’_ film. > > I did take her to films when she was a tiny baby, but I just breastfed her discreetly and then she slept. I doubt anyone realised she was there. (Bolding mine.) Did you consider that they weren’t annoyed at her, but at you? I don’t agree that this is normal and appropriate. Sure, kids will do things like this, and that’s fine, but in my family it would have gone like this: “Buzzzz!” (whispered) “Shh! We don’t talk at the movies.” (Later) “Buzzzz!” (whispered) “You need to be quiet. We’re at the movies.” Etc., with increasing severity. I know I’m a dinosaur, but it doesn’t bother me when kids are kids. When kids are kids and parents are obviously not concerned with teaching them good public behavior, that’s another story. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/57 "2011-05-31T02:26:47Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > The story was meant to imply a regular theater. It’s fabricated in any case. Mine isn’t, as Paul Ruebens (Pee Wee Herman) can attest. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/58 "2011-05-31T02:27:34Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > I know it’s insane, but I’ve seen 516 movies in the theater since Jan. 1, 2010… That is insane. That’s a movie per day. You either go to the theater every day or watch multiple movies every few days. There havn’t been 500 movies in my lifetime intriguing enough to draw me to the theater. If you don’t work in the industry, where do you get the time/money/interest? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/59 "2011-05-31T02:37:47Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > That is insane. That’s a movie per day. You either go to the theater every day or watch multiple movies every few days. There havn’t been 500 movies in my lifetime intriguing enough to draw me to the theater. If you don’t work in the industry, where do you get the time/money/interest? Why do you care so much about someone else’s hobby? If I had the time and the money, I’d see that many movies or more. I love the movies. Re the thread topic, what bothers me the most about loud obnoxious people in theaters is that it pretty much ruins my experience no matter what I do. If I sit there and do nothing, I stew and am distracted by the noise. If I get up and say something, I get an adrenaline surge and afterward feel all shaky from having had a confrontation (even if it’s really minor, along the lines of saying “Excuse me, you’re being very loud”) and then _that’s_ distracting. On the topic of kids in theaters, as far as I am concerned, kids don’t get an exception for the rule that you need to sit quietly and watch the movie. _Except_ for afternoon matinee showings of children’s films. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674/60 "2011-05-31T02:44:20Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Why do you care so much about someone else’s hobby? If I had the time and the money, I’d see that many movies or more. I love the movies. Whoa! Settle down cowboy. My post was not criticism or commentary. I’m genuinely interested. An unfortunate waste product of the pit is that some people presume that every post must necessarily be sarcasm or snark. Why do you care so much why I care so much? And what is “so much?” A 4-sentence post that took 22 seconds to type? Why do I “care so much?” I don’t know; that is a philosophical question I can’t answer. I just do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-assholes-in-movie-theaters/583674.md?page=4)