# I Pit Attention Whoring **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2009, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737 "2009-05-17T08:45:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/21 "2009-05-19T03:17:32Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Depression affects the judgment center of the brain. But unfortunately not the speech center. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/22 "2009-05-19T03:42:28Z")
> [@Capcha](#): > > I sympathize with people that (are bad enough to need) medication for depression. No matter what you say in a positive way will not compute. Well, that’s not necessarily true. Often, depressed people can really benefit from talking with someone who can frame things in a positive way. Which has nothing to do with this woman, of course. The depression may be affecting her behavior to some degree, but I would suspect that her issues have been there all along. And if I had to deal with her, I’d probably ask for details. Her: I’m so fat! Me: So what part of yourself do you think is the fattest? Her: Huh? Me: Do you think it’s your ass? Her: What?? Me: Well, you said you’re fat, right? So I’m just wondering what part is the fattest in your opinion. I would have guessed it was that ass of yours, but I dunno, I think if it were me, that double chin would bother me more. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/23 "2009-05-20T06:46:58Z")
Jeesh, I hate girls like this. I was with a group of coworkers at a local pub. We’re all sitting at the table having a good time when “Attention Whore” starts in with her “I’m so ugly” bit. (she’s not, she’s beautiful) Suddenly every guy at the table was _argueing_ with her that she is NOT ugly! I just rolled my eyes, quietly picked up my beer and went and sat at another table. I don’t know what annoys me more; her or the dumbass guys that entertain her attention whoring. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/24 "2009-05-20T14:39:31Z")
Two years ago we used to have this staff member here who pulled this sort of shit. The thing was, she was easily the most beautiful girl in the room. Tall, statuesque, long-legged, slim, red-headed, and positively gorgeous. The thing is, if she had vented about truthful things we would have all sympathized. If she had complained about freckles or something we would have all understood. She stood there and had the gall to complain how FAT and UGLY she was. She was obviously fishing for compliments but we don’t fall for that sort of thing here. I ignored it, and my coworker gave it right back to her. The point of this story, other than venting a little about Miss I’m-So-Fat-And0Ugly-and-Want-Compliments, is that I hate people like this - they are a misery to be around. I cannot be responsible for someone else’s self-esteem. I’ve got my own to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/25 "2009-05-20T14:40:38Z")
If she’s got her friends around her while she’s doing this, don’t stick around to listen. Refuse to engage. If she tries it while her friends aren’t around, use any of the suggestions above (and no need ot feel guilty – she’s got a support system!). Depression is fucking horrible, but self-hate has become an expected bonding experience for teenage girls and women. To the point where you’re suspect if you _don’t_ chime in about how ugly you are, or dare to take a compliment. It’s bull. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/26 "2009-05-20T14:49:12Z")
> [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > I like this one. 🙂 > > I’d also be inclined to say, “Hey, let’s play a game! It’s called ‘_It’s \*\*not \*\*all about you!_’. Do you think we could try that?” > > Okay, I wouldn’t say it. But I’d think it. Oh, yes, I’d think it. I’d say it, but in a slightly less bitchy way. 😉 Something like, ‘Wow, you talk about yourself a lot! Are you aware of how often you turn conversations around to talk about yourself? People can get bored of that. Maybe that’s why they don’t like you. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with your perception that you’re fat and ugly. Maybe they are just sick of hearing about you talking about being fat and ugly.’ But then, I’m kinda direct. I’d say it in a nice way, honest. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/27 "2009-05-20T14:57:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Two years ago we used to have this staff member here who pulled this sort of shit. The thing was, she was easily the most beautiful girl in the room. Tall, statuesque, long-legged, slim, red-headed, and positively gorgeous. They say that often the most beautiful women are the most insecure. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/28 "2009-05-20T15:08:57Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > They say that often the most beautiful women are the most insecure. Which has probably got a lot to do with the messages they get growing up. ‘Oh, don’t you look pretty in your lovely new dress, you’re such a pretty girl!’ ‘You’re so lucky to be so pretty, the boys are going to love you!’ ‘You’ve got such a pretty face!’ People who get told that a lot ‘learn’ that being pretty is important, so they are terrified of losing that prettiness because, as the world sees them, they don’t have anything else to offer. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/29 "2009-05-20T15:14:28Z")
> [@HerbalTea](#): > > When people call her on her BS, her friends jump to defend her. “Back off! Don’t you know she’s depressed?! What’s the matter with you?” :rolleyes: News flash: there are plenty of people who are depressed who manage to get through the day without talking about themselves all the damn time. And these friends of hers actually encourage her. They shower compliments upon her whenever she starts talking about herself and she obviously loves the attention. I think people are doing her a disserves by coming to her aid all the time. I had times of my life where I focused WAY too much on how unhappy I was; So this is coming from someone who has been, (and I’m sure I still can be to some extent), a ‘attention whore’. I think I figured if I complained about being alone enough, some girl would magically step-up and adopt me as hers. I now know it doesn’t work like that at all, and the sooner the woman’s encouraged to shut the fuck up about being so unhappy, the sooner people may actually want to get to know her. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/30 "2009-05-20T15:35:33Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I think I figured if I complained about being alone enough, some girl would magically step-up and adopt me as hers. Amazing how far from the truth that is, huh? I get the feeling from the OP that the woman therein isn’t fishing for compliments from men, but from other women. I’d bet a million bucks that she’s not seeking validation for her looks, but for her very existence. Until she has the realization that it’s not what’s on the outside that needs fixing, she’s going to be really miserable. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/31 "2009-05-20T15:39:34Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Amazing how far from the truth that is, huh? Yes; I would rationalize it by listing the things I did see some women want to ‘adopt’, like assholes and jerks. Fixer-uppers. ---
**Author:** ![Lurking\_Quahog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lurking_quahog/32/21274_2.png) [@Lurking\_Quahog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lurking_Quahog)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/32 "2009-05-20T18:22:38Z")
Why would you waste your time talking to a fat, ugly person in the first place? [SIZE=“1”] I kid, I kid.[/SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/33 "2009-05-20T18:34:10Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Her: I went shopping this weekend. I hate shopping because I’m so fat. > Me: I haven’t been shopping in a while. > Her: Well me neither, because I’ve gotten so fat. > Me: Where did you go? > Her: Target. > Me: … > Her: You know what? I hate being fat. > Me: Have you thought of joining a gym? > > I would ignore anything that had to do with her fat & ugly routine and answer about other things. If she finally pinned me down I’d suggest things she could do to improve. Gym, a new hairdo, a makeover, weight watchers, etc. It only took about three or four conversations before she stopped. I suppose she didn’t like that I was “agreeing” with her instead of paying her endless compliments. I agree with this approach. If you say anything confrontational about her annoying behavior then you become one of the “mean” people, but just refusing to engage on the topic will hopefully teach her not to come to you with this kind of nonsense. I have to admit that when I was very young I too would fish for compliments by making negative remarks and hoping someone would disagree with them. Luckily, I learned pretty quickly that it is stupid and grew out of it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HerbalTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f9ae1b/32.png) [@HerbalTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerbalTea)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/34 "2009-05-21T02:41:27Z")
Okay, I tried outdoing her whining. We were talking about someone’s dark blue blouse yesterday, how pretty it was, where did she get it, etc. Whiny coworker couldn’t resist chiming in. Whiny coworker: Oh, I wish my eyes were that color. I hate my eyes. (Her eyes are a gorgeous light blue.) Me: Oh my gosh, my eyes are so much worse. They’re dark brown. It’s such a boring color. WC (after a pause. She obviously wasn’t expecting it): They go with your features though. Unlike mine. Dark hair with light eyes just looks fake. Me: But I look the same as like 98% of other Chinese with brown, boring, narrow, slanting eyes. WC: Narrow is better than too wide. I look like a fish. Me: At least you don’t need glasses. I look like a spinster librarian. … and so on. She got tired of talking to me pretty quickly. By the time I got to, “My face is absolutely covered with pimples. There are even some on my back.” she made some excuse and ducked into the back room. She was pretty frosty with me for the rest of the day and only talked to me when necessary. 😃 I actually like the way I look and I’m quite sure she knows that, so I hope she picked up on how annoying it is to listen to people whining unnecessarily. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/35 "2009-05-21T04:35:59Z")
Good. A sane assumption would be that she wants to fix her fat/ugly issues, but she seems to get a lot of strokes from her friends with her Poor Me routine. You removing the focus from her onto yourself is fabulous and just what I would do. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/36 "2009-05-21T06:29:41Z")
Cool! On the first try you found something that works perfectly. Now, to hone your technique. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/37 "2009-05-21T07:36:53Z")
Brilliant! Keep up the reports! ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/38 "2009-05-21T08:53:28Z")
Eww, she resorted to talking about the pimples on her back!? See a derma-god-damn-tologist. What next? The ruptured boils on her butt? Who would want to talk to someone about their back acne? No one! Herbal, I feel for ya! ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/39 "2009-05-21T09:05:33Z")
I think you’ll find it’s Herbal with the bacne issue! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737/40 "2009-05-21T13:34:38Z")
> [@HerbalTea](#): > > Okay, I tried outdoing her whining. Tried? Sounds like you succeeded. I WISH I could try! I suck at trying. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-attention-whoring/496737.md?page=3)