# I pit... beavers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626 "2009-05-26T00:05:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/1 "2009-05-26T00:05:11Z")
Ok, Mr. Beaver, fnu lnu, I will concede that you did not note that you have left the Chequamegon National Forest. There your nefarious shenanigans would have gone unnoticed. You have entered private property. A simple trip to the town hall could have shown that I hold title to the land in question. You are hereby ordered to cease and desist your illegal logging activities. Not only are you guilty of trespass, but you have created a hazard when a tree you felled became lodged into a nearby tree. Clearly your poor eyesight excludes you from safely performing this activity. Perhaps if you would have sought help from one of the local eagles we would not be in this circumstance. I will be getting a restraining order since your wanton disregard for the safety of myself and my family is a clear danger I will be seeking full restitution for the damage to my camper caused by your reckless actions. Again, a professional review of the trees probable path would have prevented damage. Is there something about private property that you can not wrap your little rodent brain around? Do you think trees grow on trees? I hope the local sheriff has beaver size handcuffs. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/2 "2009-05-26T00:25:50Z")
Rants which are genuine but simply too tepid or mundane for the Pit will be moved or closed as we see fit. Oops, should have read this before posting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/3 "2009-05-26T00:35:00Z")
Fucking beavers. Those bastards always shaved. How come you never see hairy fucking beavers anymore? In conclusion I firmly believe McCain’s wife is a whore. Also: The Game. There, firmly part of the pit now. Sorry about your camper. Sounds like really bad luck. Beavers are awesome though! Did you get any beaver pics? ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/4 "2009-05-26T00:40:26Z")
We saw deer, loons, woodpeckers, ducks, geese, an eagle, chipmunks, mice, but no beaver. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/5 "2009-05-26T00:53:11Z")
Ahh sneaky bastards then. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/6 "2009-05-26T01:00:08Z")
Exactly! That’s how they get away with their crimes. Slinking around in the dark, not using power tools. Think of it, a beaver with a chainsaw. I can hear the maniacal laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Laudenum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Laudenum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laudenum)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/7 "2009-05-26T08:16:52Z")
There’s good eating on one of those. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/8 "2009-05-26T10:50:20Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > There’s good eating on one of those. A nice, woodsy flavor, with notes of pine and birch, and a maple finish? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/9 "2009-05-26T12:41:30Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > There’s good eating on one of those. I’m intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/10 "2009-05-26T13:32:27Z")
Mmmm…beaver and honey sauce! ---
**Author:** ![usar\_jag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f0a364/32.png) [@usar\_jag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usar_jag)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/11 "2009-05-26T14:45:28Z")
Save a Tree…Eat a Beaver! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/12 "2009-05-26T16:10:56Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > A nice, woodsy flavor, with notes of pine and birch, and a maple finish? It tastes even better the second time. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/13 "2009-05-26T17:01:22Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > Exactly! > That’s how they get away with their crimes. > Slinking around in the dark, not using power tools. > Think of it, a beaver with a chainsaw. > I can hear the maniacal laughter. A _McCulloch_ chain saw. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/14 "2009-05-27T01:57:23Z")
I suggest sending a letter threatening the beavers with fines until they comply. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/15 "2009-05-27T02:10:14Z")
Better we should Pit Eddie Haskell. What a jerk! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/16 "2009-05-27T02:16:26Z")
I especially hate it when they get a yeast infection. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/17 "2009-05-27T06:30:47Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > It tastes even better the second time. That’s a bit fishy:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/18 "2009-05-27T07:15:55Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Fucking beavers. Those bastards always shaved. How come you never see hairy fucking beavers anymore? Tell me about it, a shaved one was a rare sight back in my day. Now they’re almost all shaved, like there’s some fetish for pre-pubescence at work in society today. > [@](#): > > In conclusion I firmly believe McCain’s wife is a whore. Also: The Game. Sounds like really bad luck. Beavers are awesome though! Did you get any beaver pics? Dude! I’ve got beaver pics of Rabbit! Fer Real! ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/19 "2009-05-27T12:47:34Z")
I respectfully submit that North America was the private property of beavers (among others) before camper-parking invaders arrived. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/20 "2009-05-27T13:10:02Z")
[Kinda Relevant.](http://www.getoffonbigbeaver.com/) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626.md?page=2)