# I pit... beavers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626 "2009-05-26T00:05:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/21 "2009-05-27T15:35:35Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > [Kinda Relevant.](http://www.getoffonbigbeaver.com/) I just have to say that that is one of the worst websites I’ve ever seen. They’ve taken one (one!) fairly lame, mildly amusing sign, and without any attempt to add content, they’re trying to use it to sell merchandise. They even have a “links” page, which I don’t think I’ve seen in five years. Sorry, off topic, no one cares - just weirded me out a little. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/22 "2009-05-27T23:06:24Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > I respectfully submit that North America was the private property of beavers (among others) before camper-parking invaders arrived. Hey, we ripped off the Native Americans fair and square. :rolleyes: Private property is just a tax tool. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/23 "2009-05-28T00:01:12Z")
Do beavers live to be 20? Because it seems to me that their possession is open, notorious, hostile and continuous. And as to the beaver dam, it’s exclusive 🙂 Just try to move in, I dare ya! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/24 "2009-05-28T04:32:04Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Do beavers live to be 20? Because it seems to me that their possession is open, notorious, hostile and continuous. And as to the beaver dam, it’s exclusive 🙂 Just try to move in, I dare ya! All I know is it’s best not to touch a beaver until it’s 18. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/25 "2009-05-28T05:03:02Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I suggest sending a letter threatening the beavers with fines until they comply. Your not likely to get anywhere this way. These Beavers have heavy political influence [right up to the big man himself](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_Robinson_(basketball_coach)). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/26 "2009-05-28T16:30:35Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Fucking beavers. Those bastards always shaved. How come you never see hairy fucking beavers anymore? You poor dear. Tell you what, send them my way and I’ll make sure that punishment ensues. OK, maybe not punishment. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/27 "2009-05-28T21:16:26Z")
I found out that one can legally trap beavers in Wisconsin from November 7th through April 30th. What would work best, nice clothes, a flashy car, or promises of endless love? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/28 "2009-05-28T21:21:57Z")
For trapping purposes, I’ve found that silk ties and/or stockings work pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/29 "2009-05-28T21:25:23Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > For trapping purposes, I’ve found that silk ties and/or stockings work pretty well. I thought that was just to restrain them so they don’t use teeth on your wood. ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/30 "2009-05-29T18:36:57Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > …Also: The Game. … Bah, I was doing really well for a while there. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/31 "2009-05-29T18:56:06Z")
[Beavers: Assholes of the Forest](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFmBe38h-Vg) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/32 "2009-05-29T19:00:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You poor dear. Tell you what, send them my way and I’ll make sure that punishment ensues. > > OK, maybe not punishment. Very well I’ll start emailing you all my porn if you’re so keen on it. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/33 "2009-05-29T20:28:25Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > I found out that one can legally trap beavers in Wisconsin from November 7th through April 30th. > What would work best, nice clothes, a flashy car, or promises of endless love? [Disney’sBeautyandtheBeast] Flowers, Chocolates, Promises you don’t intend to keep[/DBatB) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/34 "2009-05-29T21:04:11Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > I found out that one can legally trap beavers in Wisconsin from November 7th through April 30th. > What would work best, nice clothes, a flashy car, or promises of endless love? Liquor is quicker, but food is surprisingly effective. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/35 "2009-05-30T03:02:24Z")
They want your salt, like the Salt Monster on Star Trek. They especially want some 25 or 30 yards from your back porch, so you can properly brace your .22 or .30-30 for a clean shot. Aim for the head, sos you don’t wreck the pelt. And if you wear the pelt to town, if anybody asks, you TRAPPED it in season. Which by you is, I think, 11/7 to 4/30. Not that your neighbors will care. Nicolet National Forest? We were up there right after they paved that magnificent racecourse, er, road, but before I could drive. For close to 40 years I’ve wanted to drive it at speed, preferably with a car better than the one I owned at any point between then and now. The sweeping, banked turns! The short straights so you could build up speed for the next turn! The ups! The downs! The laughs! The frowns! It was the Nürburgring in central Wisconsin! ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/36 "2009-05-30T07:30:53Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > They want your salt, like the Salt Monster on Star Trek. They especially want some 25 or 30 yards from your back porch, so you can properly brace your .22 or .30-30 for a clean shot. Aim for the head, sos you don’t wreck the pelt. And if you wear the pelt to town, if anybody asks, you TRAPPED it in season. Which by you is, I think, 11/7 to 4/30. Not that your neighbors will care. I suggest following all laws, including game laws, firearm discharge, and etc. IANAL. ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/37 "2009-05-31T17:40:01Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I suggest following all laws, including game laws, firearm discharge, and etc. IANAL. No worries. I won’t even consider trying to get away with a gun crime. A friend did something stuupid and was convicted. HE HAD TO GET RID OF ALL HIS GUNS!!!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/38 "2009-05-31T19:31:04Z")
> [@](#): > > They want your salt, like the Salt Monster on Star Trek. They especially want some 25 or 30 yards from your back porch, so you can properly brace your .22 or .30-30 for a clean shot. Aim for the head, sos you don’t wreck the pelt. And if you wear the pelt to town, if anybody asks, you TRAPPED it in season. Which by you is, I think, 11/7 to 4/30. An excerpt from Ed Gein’s _Dating Tips for Young Teens_. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/39 "2009-06-01T17:01:44Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I suggest following all laws, including game laws, firearm discharge, and etc. IANAL. Which is why I suggested using a relatively quiet .22, well braced so **FE3O4ENAIL** could get a clean kill with a single, hard to locate bang. I mean, DUH! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626/40 "2009-06-01T23:29:05Z")
The real moral of this story is: Canadians will _fuck you up_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-beavers/497626.md?page=1)